New Scrappage scheme for old boilers

[reggie]

Save Dulwichmum...a new sly and reggie campaign

[Jah Lush]

Save her from her alter-ego?

[reggie]

There's plenty of life left in the old boiler and who's to say the new one would be any better?

So come on people..even Huguenot should get behind this one.

[dulwichmum]

Shame on you both (stomps foot). I shall have you know that I have the pert physique of an 18 year old (she is bouncing on the trampoline avec my progeny as I type).

[reggie]

See what I mean, she's still firing.

[Michael Palaeologus]

She just needs her tubes de-coking and re-bored and there will years of life in the old boiler.

[dulwichmum]

How very dare you! I am prepared to slap legs you know.

[ianr]

According to a document I've downloaded from OFGEM, "we have determined the average remaining lifetime of G-rated boilers to be 6 years. While it is possible some of these boilers will operate for longer than this, some will operate for a shorter time."

It may seem tough, but it's all in the interests of efficiency: a big jump from 65% to 88%.

[ratty]

in all seriousness, this scheme was the brainchild of a mate of mine, Mick Williams. He's been all over telly today and on radio a fair bit too. Well played Mick!

[dulwichmum]

*Passes lollipop to both ianr and ratty*

"That's what you boys get for playing nicely..."

[Huguenot]

As a lover of old boilers, I can tell you that DM didn't meet the requirements.

And reggie... good work on the injunction thread.

[dulwichmum]

*Faints*

[Michael Palaeologus]

One would need to wary of refurbishing the old boiler without proper safety equipment. Her winter draws (pulled on in October, removed in April) are lined with asbestos and were purchased from a Ukrainian Labour Camp craft fayre in 1962.

[ianr]

I'm afraid I can't accept anything that might be regarded as an inducement. I can however say that I've carefully checked the list of G-rated old boilers (those deemed the most extremely decrepit and wasteful) and am pleased to confirm that dulwichmum's name is not currently in that list.

[Michael Palaeologus]

That is clearly a fix. If any old boiler was extremely decrepit and wasteful its Dulwichmum... and she asbestos surrounding her condensor coil

[ianr]

I suppose you could arrange a fresh rating. These technical assessments do tend to be expensive though.

[reggie]

As you said earlier as long as she is de-coked she will be fine for years.

Look I bet there's a load of other dodgy boilers around to pick on...save dulwich mum.

Middle Class Mayhem

[dulwichmum]

*grinds teeth*

[????]

I reckon a CORGI registered plumber will take a look at her, shake his head and say,

"This has got cowboy east european tradesman fingerprints all over it."

[red devil]

Nothing a good pump won't sort out...

[karter]

The edf definitely needs a new boiler. One that is smooth, silent and efficient and that doesn't make those loud, irritating unnecessary noises.

I know a man who can.