New owners want to carry out a side extension and return - has this happened to you?

[maxxi]

fazer71 Wrote:

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>......when I lived in a flat in Clapham...*

*Imagines Louisa champing at the bit and praying this thread gets lounged...

[pop9770]

Haha

[pop9770]

edcam Wrote:

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> Seriously, it's one thing to read fazer's bizarre

> ramblings about his odd obsession with aircraft

> noise but now he's become an offensive troll.

> This forum is for the most part fairly civilised

> but this behaviour is unacceptable.

Yes it's a pretty dull forum.

[Mugglesworth]

Most people will take a pragmatic approach if it results in resolving the situation to their satisfaction. Our neighbours are also doing a side return extension up to the party wall. They had been advised that, as they will be replacing a single course wall with a cavity wall and that is obviously thicker, the new party wall should encroach into our garden by a few inches in order to keep the centre line of the wall in its current position. Technically correct I'm sure but this would result in our York stone patio being dug up to shorten it by those inches. In the time honoured fashion, we talked about it and my neighbour agreed that this was disruption that could easily be avoided, by building the new wall to the outer line of the old wall. No solicitors, no bad feeling, no spurious objections lodged by me. Yes, we won't enjoy the noise and disruption but at least I have the comfort of knowing that talking it over avoided yet more disruption.

[HelBel65]

Life has taught me that

a) I can get unreasonably prickly about stuff like building work or noise next door

b) I get much less unreasonably prickly if I can put a name and a face to above annoyances

a + b =

c) I always introduce myself and offer a smile and a glass of something.

Works for me :)

[P.O.U.S.theWonderCat]

If only that worked in all cases...

[HelBel65]

Well, yes. Ok, when I say it works for me, it's been a success rate of around 75%. Of the other 25%, the less said the better ;-)

P.O.U.S.theWonderCat Wrote:

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> If only that worked in all cases...

[pop9770]

The fact remains there's absolutely no requirement to tell your neighbours anything and time moves on everyone is becoming more interested in what others are doing and everything is visible online everyone is subjected to scrutiny and that results in specialist oversight. How far will it go I have sympathy with anyone who wants to improve their home and lives next to busybody luddites.

[*Bob*]

yes, yes I think you have made your position on this very clear

your extension - 1

human race - 0

[pop9770]

No

My property -1

Other people telling me what to do with my property -0

[P.O.U.S.theWonderCat]

The feeling that some people feel they have a right to have a say in what happens to another's property is a very English/British trait. When I've explained to friends and family in other countries about the custom that you're supposed to show the good side of the fence to you neighbours when you have paid for it, they have been stupified with laughter.

I do think a lot of people think they have more social/moral rights to dictate their neighbours' conduct than they should. Sometimes, the cry of "you should be more considerate/neighbourly" is used to cover what can be bullying and intimidating behaviour.

[*Bob*]

Who has said anything about letting other people tell you what to do?! No-one.

I'm not suggesting you ask them what colour your kitchen ought to be, or have ANY say in what goes on.

I'm merely suggesting knowing their names and speaking to them might be a good way to start off on the right foot. That works for many other things in life as well. If that doesn't work, then assume position B. At least you tried.

[pop9770]

^ 100% the one above this :)

[P.O.U.S.theWonderCat]

My experience has been that whilst some people are reasonable, there are just as many who, despite attempts at establishing rapport, still believe they have the right to dictate to you how you use your own property well in excess of what their legal rights of complaint are.

I congratulate you on your good fortune if you've never experienced intimidation and harrasment from neighbours, but for those of us who have it isn't necessarily indicative of a failing on our side in basic civilities.

[pop9770]

Bob

WHY

What business is it of theirs what I do with my home?

As pousthewinercat explains it's others who feel they have a right to dictate to neighbours.

Doesn't make any sense it's busybody interference.

You supporting that position doesn't make any sense I bet you'd be the first to get annoyed if someone else told you what you can and can't do when you have a document confirming exactly what you can do!

[*Bob*]

pop9770 Wrote:

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> Bob

> WHY

Because generally I believe that making connections with other human beings - especially ones you live right next door to and see every day - is worth a try. As oppose to assuming the worst, never wanting to know their names or look them in the eye.. just in case they don't turn out to be nice.

I'm sorry that seems like such an alien concept.

[P.O.U.S.theWonderCat]

Fazer is a misanthrope and therefore should be excluded from a consideration of normal reactions in society.

[pop9770]

His experiences come closer to what I've lived through than Bob's.

[Leviathan]

Our neighbours built their extension in 2010 we signed their party wall agreement didn't see the point in making them pay for surveyors, did our extension last year they cost us ?4,000 in party wall awards! The days of nice neighbours is fast becoming a thing of the past when they get warning letters through the door from scare mongering surveyors everything then becomes litigious.

[*Bob*]

They are gits.

You are a nicer person - that's worth something. To me, anyway.

I sound like a bloody hippy..

[Help-Ma-Boab]

Sending you *hugs* *bob*

I'm 100% with your school of thought. If that fails, post a tolley* through their letter box and batten down the hatches. I've never had to do that though thankfully.

*toaly

*Bob* Wrote:

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> They are gits.

>

> You are a nicer person - that's worth something.

> To me, anyway.

>

>

> I sound like a bloody hippy..

[*Bob*]

am googling 'tolley'

[Jah Lush]

Ha! This thread reminds me of this song about neighbours.

 

[first mate]

Leviathan,

I've heard a few tales like yours where a charm offensive is mounted to get the result that is wanted but when the boot is on the other foot it is a different story.