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Mullet report

Roll Deep

By Roll Deep
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Roll Deep

Roll Deep

Posted
Posted

During some recent correspondence with a monied gambling enthusiast on a popular networking site my attention was drawn to an unabashed picture of the individual concerned sporting a mullet. This particular mullet had obviously been professionally coiffed at great expense, of pocket and dignity, and could even induce a cringe across the entire east German football team.


What concerned me further however was that this person seemed to be proud of the disaster sitting upon his bonce. I'm not entirely sure how long this episode in the young gentlemans furore into the obscene carried on for, but thankfully it is no more.


So if your attention is accosted by a similar monstrosity then write in to tell us about it so we can share the humour. Although you must adhere to the strict discipline of catagorizing the haphazard hairstyle.


1) The Fe-mullet. A female mullet. Often sported by women with large rimmed glasses as well as a shell-suit jacket who can be found shopping in Iceland.


2) The Mullet-kid. By far the cruelest form of parental neglect that's often tapered of into a 'rat tail'. Actually, if you witness this contact social services.


3) The Skullet. Sported by 55+ men who were never let in on the joke. This object of humour see's their chrome-dome jacketed by tiresome locks that have greyed a bit.


4) Midget Mullet. By far the rarest of combinations. Last seen on Conan The Barbarian. Although it's rumoured the guy who operated R2D2 had one.


5) The Afro-mullet. It's extensively groomed. This mode of mullet is set aside for the dedicated 'chosen few'. It's curly yet almost smooth in it's sheen with no characteristic sharp edges found on the common mullet.


6) Business in the front, party at the back Mullet. Most common with the eighties band/groupie kids. This is unsurprisingly the most untamed form of mullet that has many knots and gnarls through lack of grooming.


Over to you.

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Acid Casual

Acid Casual

Posted
Posted

I remember a piece of comedy gold from the Beastie Boys' fanzine Grand Royal about 10 or 12 years ago where their "correspondent" got his long, metal style hair cut into a mullet as a piece of social reportage to assess if he was treated differently by people he encountered. I didn't stop laughing for about a week.


Admittedly some of it was shooting fish in a barrel, like going into guitar shops and the staff making the assumption that he was after some sort of flying V style monstrosity, but it was just the mundane business of the guy going about his life and general business that made it so funny. He described various people's instantaneous response to his ludicrous Barnet as running the full gambit of reactions from bewilderment leading to over played normality and attempted polite indifference, to mirth and disgust.


It really was very funny.

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