ChavWivaLawDegree

Go Mockney Go! (and Brendan)

It's marked in 100m sections all along the outside of the road.

I nicked this from my facebook Jamaican joke application and felt the need to share it with you good people: Dinner Bill The Restaurant There were three men living together in London, a Trinidadian a Barbadian and a Jamaican who were all starving because they didn't have money to buy food. However, upon coming close to a posh restaurant they came up with a plan. The Trinidadian went in first. After being seated he ordered a three-course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal the waiter came by with the cheque. "But I paid you" the Trinidadian shouted. The waiter was very confused as he could not remember being paid, but as he did not want to cause any trouble...he let the Trinidadian leave. Five minutes later the Barbadian walked into the restaurant and ordered a five-course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for food. "But I paid you" The Barbadian shouted. This time the manager came and had to calm down the Barbadian, and as he did not want anything to upset the other customers he let the Barbadian go. Ten minutes later the Jamaican walked in, sat down, lit a cigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu plus two Red Stripe beers. After he had finished, the waiter came to collect the money for the meal and before asking for it, the waiter said, "Sir... I have been having a sort of problem all day and I can't understand it. Other people like you came in earlier and ate and they said that they paid me but I don't remember getting any money from them, so........ "Before he could finish, the Jamaican chimed in loudly, "Hear mi nuh boss, that ah fi yu problem dat? jus gimme mi change!"

I've always paid between ?150 - ?200 for club dj's. Go out to a club you like the music to, and ask any dj who plays well and creates agood vibe if they do private functions. You need to find out if they have to bring their sound system too tho, cos some charge seperatly for that.

When saving the Arabs and Isrealis

So all that ranting was about you

The road is marked as 1800m

Agreed

I actually got excited when he binned the supercasinos but he's been pretty timid since. Mockney's post sums up mad-dog Blair's time at the top and I'm thankful the stary eyed nutter is somewhere else but feel sorry for the Palistinians. Sweaty jowls and lack of colgate smile should not mean anything, but unless he loosens the American's grip on our country and starts running things for us, he'll continue to be judged on meaningless sh!t like that.

"Crush a large clove of garlic so that it turns into a mushy mass. Mix it up with a large spoon of honey until totally combined. Add juice of one lemon. Top it up in a small glass with hot (not boiling) water. Hold nose and knock back. Get back into bed. Get really hot under the duvet so that you're sweating all night." I add grated ginger and sliced lemons to this foul tasting mixture and find it works really well. Take it a couple of times a day and u'll be fine really quickly.

From shock or booze?

I came upon Lilly Savage

I could never repeat it, my old Nan would turn in her grave.

haha and she looks so sweet too!

So I better put away my strap-on then SMG.

good honest workmanship

Hahahahaha, but you said something particularly gross, and I am embarrassed even to think about it.

We need to bring back hanging, that'll show them!

Yes, I was impressed.

Hows pulling on the forum? That'd be telling, but I got a good seeing to the other night by a cabbie mate of mine from the real world. He is 40 (old for me I know!) but he works out and wore me out. I haven't had to say, "stop I can't take any more orgasms" for such a long time, I forgot how it felt! Edited cos this was my 1000th post!!!

Only if i'm coming

Ooh help me someone please. I promise I will try to stay strong next time!

40 something white women of chavvy origin? It's very difficult to talk quietly into your mobile on a packed bus and I've done that before to try to say what it was I wanted to say without the whole bus being able to hear.

Hi, My name is Chav, and I'm an (edf) addict.

He may not float like Mr Winstone or Ms Lawson, http://www.outsideleft.com/shrinker465.php?s=i/stars/ll_cool_ja.jpg&w=465 But I'd be happy to drown with him!! Plus I heard he stays down without coming up for breath, for hours!