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Sue - (tu)

I have been cleaning out my mailbox and ended up reading some old PM's from over the years. Wow there have been some lovely ones! There are some really wonderful old links too, wish I was tech savvy enough to bring some back as they are still interesting. I don't think people always realize what a great gift it is to reach out to others who who are needing advice or just a friendly word. This forum is a very rare and special thing. I've yet to come across anything that matches. I know I should have moved on ages ago, but those early years with my son in London are becoming fading memories, and sometimes it's just nice to relive those times through your stories. Even the ones about toddler tantrums in Sainsbury's (oh the memories........;-)) Anyway, like I said, much support was given at a lonely and often difficult time. Parenting is hard enough without trying to do it alone in a new country, so I want to extend a huge thank you to the always lovely parents in the Family Room. I have learned a lot about being a parent, and myself......... Bouquets to the lovely English roses of East Dulwich! Oh and I can't leave out Otta!

Perhaps if you exaggerated a bit less on here we could buy the notion that the rest of your opinions aren't exagerations as well. As much as I love the image of me spending the weekend "desperately trawling" the internet looking for "red herrings" (a bit over the top, no?), in reality all I did was click your name to see a history of you complaining about mothers. And of course your business ad. It is relevant, actually, because personally I would prefer to know that if I was going to have highly personal services done, I won't be judged harshly and bitched about on the local forum later. And there is little evidence of you having any patience for what are actually normal behaviors of people who spend three years going about their day with a small person and massive pram attached to them.

Damian H - I'm wondering why someone with so little patience for mothers would post your services in the Family Room? You make it sound as if the cafe owner shouldn't value the business of mothers, yet you yourself would like our their business. Or maybe just the ones you can tolerate? Or maybe you can tolerate them if they pay you enough? I'm confused.

Talk about flogging a dead horse!

I've read the whole thread, and frankly the more I read the more you just sound like a jacka$$. The rest sound like normal people with normal opinions. At first I thought you were a boring old misogynist but now believe you just hate everyone, equally. edit for spelling

Moos Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I've never heard yummy mummy used except as an > expression of hatred. And always with a sneer.

Many pubs are luring mothers and children with play groups, play rooms, climbing frames and child menus. They even advertise in the Family Room! I'm no genius, but that feels like an invitation to bring children. Some pubs are killing themselves to draw in some afternoon customers and this is what they've come up with. So I'm thinking, if you see a play room or climber and you don't want to be around families, maybe this isn't the pub for you? Seems like the pub has figured out who is paying the rent. There are still lots of places for a bitter old man to sit and scowl with a pint. Agree with Otta, though, evenings are for adults and the kiddies should be home in bed. JimmyMc1311 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Some pubs do it well and actually hide the kids at > the back. It's great. Almost like that wonderful > city in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.I would however > politely disagree with Chantelle when she says > that children are'welcomed' in the majority of > pubs. Maybe the bigwigs at the top of the brewery > chain might welcome kids, but the rolling eyes of > the barstaff, and those of the other adults who up > until then were having a good time would disagree > when the peace and calm is shattered by screams > and cries.

This is kind of ridiculous and shows that you've not entered anywhere with a pram. One of two things happen: you are either told that there is no room for the pram and please park it outside, or the staff show you a suitable place to park it and worry about where it goes next if they see it as a problem. If you wanted the table, they would move the pram. It's pretty hard to sympathize with massive generalizations. I know that some children have bad days, as do some parents and *gasp horror* childless people have bad days as well. There's always some smug a-hole who has treat the waitress like crap, for example. Ruins my day out. How do we ban them? Damian H Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I was recently in MPC on LL and there were two > mothers in with prams and children. The two prams > had been stowed in the narrow aisle by the seats > in the window, meaning that five seats were > completely unaccesible during the profitable > lunch-time. The mothers obviously were sitting > elsewhere and from what I could see while I was in > looked like they were there for the duration. > > The staff were commendably patient but I thought > it selfish beyond belief of the mothers. MPC has > perhaps 30 covers inside maximum and two mums were > taking up about one third of their capacity for > two adults and two kids at their busiest time of > the day. > > That is the sort of attitude that leads to the OP.

Soho Theatre does awesome shows for Children at Christmas. Not sure what this year's show is, maybe check their website?

New Park Manor is lovely, I spent a night there on my honeymoon! Fantastic food as well. We once stayed with loads of friends at the Manor Farmhouse, Snowshill, Gloucester which is a National Trust self catering cottage, and we all swore that one day we would do Christmas there because it was an absolutely perfect storybook setting. The local pub across the road had a fabulous publican (right term?) who would stay on after closing and drink and chat with us. A mile away is Broadway, which has lots of typical Cotswold dining options, but the dining room would be sufficiently large for a proper Christmas dinner in (that would be my choice). And as it's name suggests, it gets all lovely and snowy in the winter. Oh my now I'm jealous! The cottage itself has loads of room and at least four double and one single bedroom I think.

We have a little lego trebuchet, only about three inches tall, that is without a doubt the winner of the bare feet torture award. You know in the Exorcist when her head spins around and she yells the unladylike stuff at the priest? That's me stepping on the trebuchet. It has wheels too, just to add a little extra kick. And lego injuries are usually followed by the tantrum of a child who just spent the last hour building the thing you just stepped on and broke, so that's fun too.

That Box for Blocks site is like porn for a storage nerd like me! The giant head comes in a slightly less angry looking lady, with lipstick if I recall? Seriously don't even get me started on the Playmobile.

I grew up trick or treating (not in the States!) and it was and a really fun night for the whole neighborhood. Costumes don't have to be scary so are actually really creative and fun, seniors enjoy having a stream of children come to the door and show off their costumes, and the whole neighborhood would be lit up with pumpkins and busy with happy children. Teenagers are generally thought to be too old, although some put some great costumes together and are welcomed if in the spirit of the fun. Nobody asks for money, although we used to carry small Unicef boxes to collect spare change as well as treats. And the trick part never really materialized (that I've ever known of) so there was little threat. Sometimes people make you sing for your candy though! But it does seem to have become quite sinister in London, it kind of sounds like the worst parts have been oddly interpreted (give us money or we'll egg or house? WTH?) And I can see how it's not the best place to have strangers in masks banging down your door at night demanding candy and money. Sounds like a distinctively London twist on things!;-)

Yep all true Saffron. I think it's such a lovely way to make the leap into the great unknown!

If it's the one I have my eye on, it's a giant Lego head and I think it's called "sort and store" or something? Pretty sure it's on Amazon.

That box is great! We have a couple of strategies..... The basic bits and bobs are in two bins, one for smaller bits and one for bigger bits. The sets are trickier as you kind of need to keep them together. We use extra large freezer bags and immediately dump the set in that once opened. I also put the little instruction book and (don't laugh) I cut out one side of the box and put it in the bag as well. You would be amazed how often we look back at the picture from the box as a reminder of what it's supposed to look like! I find that once it all gets mixed up it's a lost cause. Hope that helps.......

It's the norm in North America, at least for your first child. My friends had one for me and it was really lovely. It's such a huge rite of passage, why not celebrate? I think the British impression is that it's vulgar? but I don't really understand why. Too many movies? The gifts are often practical items, such as a nice stock of baby lotions/creams/blankets etc and generally you invite the people who are good friends and would buy a gift anyway. Sometimes people join together to buy something bigger; I had some ladies from work pool their money for a really lovely wooden stair gate. Usually it's a way to give a few things you found useful with your own. I received things like buggy storage and a mirror for the car, things I would not have thought to buy but were really useful. A good friend who could not breast feed due to a medical condition received loads of formula to help offset the cost. A friend bought us a massive box of nappies, which seemed odd at the time but boy were they ever appreciated once we realized the cost! There can be tea and cake, or whatever, and lots of well wishes and stories. I don't remember any balloons! I think they are as individual as a birthday party really, no hard and fast rules. There sure are a lot of myths about how things are done in "America", just like the Halloween thread!:)) I asked to have mine after my son was born so that I would get less yellow stuff :) and it was great because all my lady friends got to meet and hold the new baby. Plus it was just nice to have an afternoon of attention after those first weeks of newborn craziness. It's an individual thing I guess, but I can't a negative side to it. Usually they are held at the hosts house so the knackered mum just has to show up and be a bit spoiled for a few hours, but a cozy pub would be great too. If you do it, enjoy! You can also have a "no gifts" party where guests just bring advice to be compiled in a special book or something if you feel odd about the gifts.

Tom came back? *swoon*

Can I just say that every time time I see the name "hellosailor" it makes me giggle? I like it very much.

Yep you certainly have. Zeban, was your Masters in Education or Psychology? I ask because I've been reviewing some old Vygotskian theories for personal reasons, and after years of teaching and parenting I'm much more skeptical than when I was a student. But I only have a B.Ed/B.A. Psych so feel that I'm maybe not qualified to interpret his work and thought maybe you have some insights? It's some research in social learning I'm doing for my son's teacher, feeling a bit in over my head. Sorry to hijack, wasn't sure where else to ask......... mea culpa Oh yeah, I heart Bugaboo! You either spend big once or you end up buying so many cheaper ones you could have just saved your sanity and bought the good one first. A good friend is on her FOURTH baby and finally gave in and bought one after all these years of cheap buggies. I don't regret a penny I've spent on buggies.

But see that's my point, these cheap processed foods can only contain garbage that you wouldn't eat if you knew. But the market IS the customer, and if people didn't buy it they couldn't afford to keep peddling it. I can't imagine how people delude themselves into thinking there's anything of quality in these items, and of course you are completely right about the ingredients. Is there any nutritional value in salt and sawdust? ;-) Which is why I won't buy it. But loads of people are serving it to their family as we speak. THAT is the market. Edit: wanted to add, living back in Canada now and am finding the labels impossible. They are better for information about nutritional values, but absolutely nothing about food origins or even things like %of meat in a sausage. So I give credit where it's due, the labels there are pretty good I think compared to elsewhere.

Oops cross-post edit-y thing!

I realize what you're saying DJ. But if people would chose better quality meat but less of it, the market changes and the conditions change. As it is there is a huge market for heaps and heaps of cheap gross meat and the only way to provide it in those volumes is the way they are doing it. All the bits of the animals ARE being used, how do you think Iceland can sell meat products so cheaply? Snouts and tails, that's how. But the British food industry is getting so much better with food labels that allow you to make informed choices. If I don't know what I'm buying it stays on the shelf. I didn't say that conditions weren't important to me, my point was that people can eat and serve real food and not touch the mystery meats. You could not pay me to serve my son fish fingers from Iceland, trawled in Asia and flash frozen in Russia, then sent flown to whatever processing plant to be shaped. But to each his own I guess.

I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure there was a recent thread about the merits of Iceland and people were lining up to sing the praises of ?1 boxes of fish fingers and sausages. All I could think was how nasty meat that cheap must be and how surprised I was by who was buying it. I know the excuse is that people need to feed families and money only goes so far, and I absolutely get that. But off-cuts of good meat are cheap from the butcher and with a handful of root veg (also cheap) can make a lovely stew that WILL last the week, just like the good old days. I always look in the "clearance" section of the supermarket because they often have premium meats about with a best by date of today, so marked down 50%. They go straight to the freezer, which means we're eating the best meats for less than the revolting cheap stuff. There's really not much excuse for eating garbage.