ryedalema

I just wonder how far into our home he would have ventured if we hadn't been on the doorstep. Maybe I can get him to put it straight into our magazine rack next time.

If they hadn't barged into our toddler I'd probably agree with you!

Can I get some advice? My work is undertaking its annual appraisal season right now and I have 7 in my team who need doing. My interim started 2 weeks before I left (so has a couple of month's experience of working with them), but they want my input so that they have fair and representative appraisals (fair enough). Problem is I'm still in my first 6 weeks of Mat leave and will need to do preparatory work and possibly go into work during this time period. Can I legally do a 'keep in touch day' during my first 6 weeks? And also - what happens about pay as I'm getting paid full pay for the first 19.5 weeks anyway? All advice gratefully received!

Thanks Nero - I will call them too. But am hoping Citizen Journalism has some clout too - we'll see.

I know there are some much more serious threads on here right now - but I just have to vent about a Council leaflet dropper's rudeness this morning. As I was negotiating leaving the house this morning with our newborn and toddler, said leaflet dropper pushed passed us in the doorway - entered our house and dropped leaflets in our hallway. When I said 'excuse me that's unbelieveably rude!' he just said 'Whatever'. Ironically one of the leaflets he dropped was called WHTVR - which I believe means the same (so not my demographic!). The other was called something like 'Investing in you'. Maybe Southwark Council should invest in some considerate leaflet dropper - or market research into who is in their properties. Or is this a new type of Guerilla marketing, which I've fallen for, as I'm now talking about this on the forum? Either way - I'm gobsmacked at the home invasion!

If you Google 'child double duvet and bedding' you can get some nice sets now. We got dinosaurs and bubbles (not together) from John Lewis too.

That's exactly what we did - not really by design but because that's the only other bed we had in that room and as she'd never really taken to the cot anyway we'd already been resorting to co sleeping with her in the double bed in her room (which was the spare room). It hasn't done her any harm at all - we laid pillows down both sides of the bed when she started sleeping in it by herself and she's absolutely fine. Now, however we've just installed bunk beds, so she's back to a single. We're keeping as close eye to see whether she falls out (of the bottom bunk I hasten to add), as she has a tendency to 'travel' in her sleep. Signs are good so far - but we'll let you know when she's been there longer.

I'm not sure if there's a thread already on this (bound to be but hopefully there are new products/opinions that can be sought). My husband is looking at buying a Burley double bike trailer as a bike trailer, but also as our normal double buggy solution. He says it's cheaper than the Chariots and comes with more extras. Has anyone successfully used this as a double buggy? My concerns are around steer-ability and weight - plus the obvious getting through narrow doors and along LL in one piece (without abuse!) Has anyone got one and can recommend it? Has anyone got one and would say 'don't get one at all costs!'? Or does anyone have a better yet similarly budget-conscious solution to bike and pedestrian transport solution for a 2.5 year old and newbie? We've got the buggy board - which is deffo not working for us right now. Thanks loads for your help.

My husband was attacked outside Denmark Hill station just before our daughter was born (December) - over a parking space! Don't think I should say too much as we are pursuing this with the Police but just wanted to say that having witnessed him being struck to the ground and coming up with blood all over his face was the scariest thing I have ever seen! Our 2 year old wasn't that impressed either. He's been to see Victim Support and says they have really helped. My husband isn't the type to ask for help from anyone, so this is very high praise. I hope you also get to make use of this invaluable support service. Sadly it's further rocked our confidence in 21st century values- but they weren't that great to start with - sigh.

I missed the meeting sadly but work for an org that does loads of these types of grant applications - does anyone know theapplication deadline and is it too late to get involved?

Just wanted to say that I/we used the Oakwood midwives with our first daughter (now 2.5 years) and The Lanes for our second (4 weeks) and both midwife practices were absolutely fabulous. I can't remember when the monthly meetings started but both teams came to our home when it was convenient for us, were reliable and helpful - and when the time came were really, really professional in seeing our daughters into the world (unplanned home birth for #1 and unplanned hospital dash for #2). We changed doctors practices from Forest Hill to Crystal Palace Road after the birth of #1 purely for the standard of medical care and administration - absolutely not for the quality of care and support from the midwife teams. Hope that helps x

Our youngest is 3 weeks and her big sister is at Greendale Mother Goose at Denmark Hill too. We're hoping to enrol #2 there at 6 months (Julyish) so if you get in there we could have babes in the same room. Our eldest (2.5 years) has been there only a few months (she was in a Waterloo nursery before) and seems to have settled in there fine. They have an activity every day (cooking, music, painting etc) and spend plenty of time outside (they have guinea pigs and rabbits too). They also had a lovely carol concert and Father Christmas arrival last month - so seem to do lots of interactive things with the kids. It's not the biggest place in the world - could look a bit cluttered to some. But is definitely 'well loved' and with staff who care about the kids and look after them well.

Sorry to disappoint you guys. I work for the association that now owns Dawson Heights. We invited the architect around for a press visit last year and she was in glowing health. We have plenty of pics (see page 5 of this newsletter). http://www.shgroup.org.uk/Documents/Publications/On%20Board/OnBoard42Aug08FINAL.pdf

Sigh - just opened the curtains to this again. We're in Ryedale which stayed snowy for much longer than the main roads last time. Does anyone know how The Rye and Forest Hill Road are for driving?

Ah - fab ideas - thanks. I think I may forego the 'actual' nursing tops and go for the strappy vest top layering thing. I've always thought those nursing tops look a bit too functional/industrial for my liking. But if anyone's found a prettier and still practical solution I'm all ears. Also if there are any knitwear solutions. I'm afraid I'm exposing rather too much 'where baby used to be' when I'm feeding currently.

Having managed to not buy any new maternity gear from my last pregnancy (our last was a summer baby so I completely froze for the winter months - but ne'er mind) I now find that I have absolutely nothing to wear (and I mean it, not just in a girlie wardrobe full of clothes kind of a way) that I can bf with and be seen out in public in. I don't have particularly high expectations - warm is good, classic better (so not a trendoid!) does anyone know a good place to get said items? Also would prefer not to spend a small fortune! I've tried the normal places - Mothercare, Next, M&S, Mamas and Papas, Bravissimo etc - they don't seem to have anything. Any ideas?

I'd second the bathing every day thing (for the little un, not the adults). I bathe our daughter between 2 and 4 times a week depending on how many we can manage. The whole of last year my husband worked in Sollihul (staying in hotels and getting room service!), while I looked after our 2 year old and went through the pregnancy with our second monster. So I went through the looking after everything struggle, while feeling incredibly knackered by pregnancy side effects. The worst habit I got into was co-sleeping with our two year old in the 'big bed', falling asleep to Peppa Pig or some such. A habit my eldest daughter is not keen to break now! I also had a 1.5 hour's commute each way to work (with nursery drop off half way through), so bed time ended up being nearer to 8pm than 7pm. Big tip from me would be - feed them on the way home if you can. We got quite inventive around carrot sticks, cheese and biscuits, chicken nuggets, sausages, hummus, yoghurt etc - anything that can be easily (and relatively cleanly) consumed on the move. I know if doesn't teach 'implement dexterity' but they have at least two other meals per day with spoons, forks etc and she doesn't seem to have suffered for it.

Ah I think I see. I've got Accor vouchers which I'm paying for by salary sacrifice (not part of a benefits package). So my work won't do anything differently for me during my mat leave will they? I'll just keep paying for them as normal (well until Gordon Brown takes them away from us of course!).

Likewise Cassie was born on 23 December and my husband goes back next Monday. Unlike you lot though I'm quite looking forward to it. He seems to have an opinion on EVERYTHING! Am I sterilising correctly? Am I holding her correctly while we bf? Am I expressing enough? Is it the right consistency?!!! Luckily I bought him a 'leatherette' massage chair for his study for Christmas so he now spends most of his time 'tidying his paperwork' (ahem!) But again likewise I'm rushing around doing everything while she's asleep - cannot seem to kick the adrenalin addiction from having a high pressure job - need to put myself through the same ringer while on leave. If I perform true to last time I'll start obsessing about Nigella receipes, having a complex about seeing the bottom of the laundry bin and picking my husband up from work!! (Crazy!) With my first I put her in the bathroom while I showered. The steam works really well if they have any collicky tendencies (and doesn't harm them if they don't). It seems much easier second time around - the challenge comes with juggling time between the 2.5 year old who keeps asking 'Mummy what you doing?' and 'What's that?' while I'm expressing, bfing or similar undignified things we have to do. Sigh - there are some things a youngster just shouldn't have to see - but she's into everything and if I try and hide away she will find me! Always.

Sorry - am being totally thick (i blame maternity leave head). Do you mean that my employers should be paying for my childcare vouchers? If so is that only if they only pay statutory mat pay or is it regardless. My work is giving me an 'enhanced mat pay' package for 19.5 weeks (then back to the statutory). So should I ask them to pay my ?243 each month also?

I know this is extremely nosy of me but does anyone know what was going on on the Rye this morning? I saw a police car and van crossing the grass to the middle of the Rye and what seemed like a naked person squatting down with lots of police around them and some dog walkers involved. Obviously I hope no-one was injured or ill - but does anyone know more?

I left my daughter at nursery for the first time when she was 6 months old and I was the one sobbing as I said goodbye (I'm such a wuss!) To get me through I kept repeating to myself 'they are better qualified to look after her than I am!' and 'she's got lots of people loving her now', which became a kind of mantra for me in the first weeks. She was absolutely fine - and thrived on having companions her own age around. Plus the kind of care she got (and still gets) is miles better than I'd be able to do. The nanny's job is solely to keep little ones safe, clean, nourished and playing/developing. If it was me looking after her I'd be negotiating phones calls, emails, errands, chores etc. So I think she's much better off with the professional(s). It's small succour now I know - keep yourself really busy at work, put photos up that you can smile at and look forward to the end of the day when they run into your arms and show you what they've been up to. If the nanny can present you with artwork that helps too - shows that they've had fun and gives you something to share. Good luck with it - it doesn't last too long and in my opinion learning a bit of independence can be a good thing for them. (They'll have to do it later on after all).

I actually managed to hit my savings target for 2009 - so have a more ambitious target for 2010 (gulp). Didn't quite manage to become fluent in French though (ahem). This year's resolutions are mostly about baby weight. Beth - are you going to help me achieve this? :-) I also hope everyone has a fab NYE and accomplishes all they want to in 2010. Nothing ventured etc...

Thanks for all the advice. I'm a bit confused as to whether to purchase Lady GF though. Think i'll continue trying without first and see where that takes us. Some have said that having no knickers on helps (at home of course) as knickers makes them feel like they have a nappy on. Any opinions/advice on that at all?

Hi Pipling - I can't see an address on your website - whereabouts is Piplings?