Peckhamgatecrasher

In truth I don't know. Going by Trott's explanation yes. But in bald print it looks bloody rude, if nothing else. Going by Du Beke's rationale - 'I must say immediately and categorically that I am not a racist and that I do not use racist language. There was no racist intent whatsoever but I accept that it is a term which causes offence and I regret my use of it, which was done without thought or consideration of how others would react.' - I would say it also fits into that usage. However, in print, it does not seem complimentary and it makes me wince. And it certainly upset the recipient - perception always has the last word.

Here's an interesting observation from Dave Trott (from his blog CST Advertising) IT?S ONLY WORDS 21 September 2009 My wife is Singaporean and occasionally we go back to visit her folks. We?re usually a bit more tanned when we come back. After one particular holiday we went to see my mum. Mum opened the door, gave her a big hug and said, ?Ooh Cathy, you look lovely. You look just like a nigger.? Cathy didn?t know what to make of this. She?d been told this word was a terrible insult. And yet here was someone clearly using it as a compliment. Cathy was listening simultaneously to the intent and the words, and they were giving her mixed messages. In other words, cognitive dissonance. Clearly my mum thought looking like a nigger was a good thing. The problem was no one had told my mum that nigger was now a bad word. Mum was born before the First World War, and it wasn?t a bad word then. It was just slang, like Yank, or Scouse, or Frog, or Kraut, or Jap, or Jock, or Paddy, or Kiwi, or Bubble, or Cockney. Maybe not the language you?d use at an embassy reception. But this was east London. Language is rougher and cruder. To see if any offense is meant, you have to listen to the intention. Not just the words. Cognitive dissonance works the other way round, too. Have you ever heard a mother in the supermarket whose child is having a tantrum? Often she?ll be screaming, ?CALM DOWN!!!? at the child, at the top of her voice. And wondering why it isn?t working. Apparently, only 25% of communication is in the words we actually use. The other 75% is everything else. The tone of voice we say the words in. Whether we?re smiling or frowning. Whether our body language is friendly or hostile. But when we communicate in print, like this blog, we lose that 75%. So it?s completely easy to misinterpret intention. Irony for instance, doesn?t work. Take the two words, ?Oh really?? That?s all you get on paper. An enquiry, apparently seeking verification. But face-to-face you get the bit in brackets. ?Oh really?? (enthusiastic) ?Oh really?? (bored) ?Oh really?? (sarcastic) ?Oh really?? (suspicious) ?Oh really?? (surprised) My father-in-law was an old fashioned Chinaman. When he came to London he was shocked at the way strangers addressed my mother-in-law in the street. From shopkeepers to bus conductors. They?d call her ?Love? and ?Dear? and ?Darling? and ?Sweetheart?. He became sullen. Eventually he confronted her, ?Why do all these people know you well enough to call you ?darling?? What?s going on?? It took some time to convince him that his wife was innocent. She didn?t know these people. ?Then why do they call you ?darling??? he wanted to know. ?It?s just their way,? she kept repeating. ?Look, women even call other women ?love?.? Eventually she persuaded him to listen to the intention instead of just the words. And then he could see that no harm was intended by anyone. The words didn?t signify what he thought they did. They were actually just meant to be friendly, even respectful. He would have to adjust to people addressing his wife in this most intimate way. Using words no one in China would use outside the bedroom. He would have to learn to listen to the 75%, not just the 25%. That?s what we all need to remember. ... So we need to remember the limitations of words. As Seneca said, ?The word ?dog? never bit anyone.?

Autumn leaves - so pre-Raphaelite!

No Keef, think of all the trolls we'd attract!

Kenny

Pugh

Quick, BBW, hide from Moos.

Certainly not! Put a vest and a cardie on.

To help with the other part of your question (as a short term solution), Boots online have a range of aids: Aids

I agree. One of the reasons I moved to Peckham was because of the convenience of the trains.

Telephone Man - Meri Wilson

Darn!

I wish I still had my old Nokia - only phone I've managed to completely work out. Blessed child left it in a field! Making do with Woolworth's cheapest a basic SAGEM. Wanna swap Brendan? Woolworth's must have some antique value?

Harumph. Albert Hall sold out - cheapest tickets available are ?99 from dubious websites which counts me out. Perhaps I'll settle for Gilbert O'Sullivan at two and six. PS: nothing that a good set of pinking shears wouldn't cure!

I might have to swoon - Cat Stevens is going back on tour!

You hum it ...

No, no, no BBW. It was a kiss, not a bite.

Food, food and more food. I was starving during my labour (despite a full cooked breakfast in the canteen). They wouldn't let me eat during the later stages and I'd packed no food - I was conscious of my stomach rumbling throughout. A sneaky sandwich would have been marvellous. Some sort of flip flop or plastic shoes for the bathrooms which were pretty disgusting.

I watched a rather aggressive cormorant on the lake today. He was going for ducks, either by dive bombing them or churning across the water at great speeds. Would make a pretty impressive weapon if we could harness that - a bit like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on acid.

Yes, but not direct - I'm a direct fan. 7 mins to London Bridge is pretty damn good.

Don't see how, unless one lives in New Cross or Brockley. When is the 'proposed' extension for Queen's Road & Peckham Rye going to be complete? It's far easier to go via train to Victoria or London Bridge in minutes than to have to tube hop.

Who's Stew? Why haven't I met him?

STS is in the running for Irish Sports Personality of the Year. Maybe celebrity will change him!

No caffeine? Nuff said.

PaRP, PaRP! Hope you're not ganging up on me with that Moos character.