cuppa tea

"Overall, I can't say it seems to have done them much harm - they were both early and clear talkers, and are not overweight or inactive. In fact, the first time my youngest daughter got herself out of bed at the crack of dawn, wandered downstairs and figured out how to turn the telly on, I rolled back over in bed and thought, 'Ah, my parenting work is done...' (Well, until she's old enough to learn how to bring me up a coffee.)" Ha ha brilliant! Can't wait for this moment. Far preferable to having the kid jumping on my head at 5am! I don't think telly does them any harm unless they are watching it more or less round the clock with no interaction whatsoever....probably does happen in some families, sadly.

i think it's about you both being ready. You have to be ready for lots of mess, accidents when out and weeing in odd places....and then not reacting to any of that! Very difficult! 2.5yrs is still pretty young to be potty training I would say. My son was over 3 and although we have fewer accidents now, we still have days when not much gets in the potty and most goes on the sofa. (Fortunately almost all poo has been a hit, so mainly just wee to clean up!). Because he does plenty of attention seeking stunts, potty training was like giving him a new weapon! We didn't even mention that we were doing it, other than telling him that he was going to be wearing big boy pants. Just left potties around the place and left him to it. It kind of worked. The first week was amazing. The second week I lost count of how many times he weed on the floor! But he did seem to appreciate the autonomy of being able to pull his own (elasticated) trousers down and do it all by himself. He was very ready, just enjoyed, still enjoys trying to get a rise out of us by peeing alternative places....

I like the concept of the programme; the natural world element, getting muddy, etc, but the style of the animation, the voices and the script are just AWFUL! A bit sexual and odd. I find it offensive. Obviously I'm seeing this from an adult perspective so these things probably go over the kids head - hopefully. It's the pouting, lip licking and eyelash batting - hideous!

Eww, I had one of those babies! Very, very painful sleep deprivation. I would definitely second what GinaG3 has said. We were all over the place with our routines and I don't think the poor kid knew where he was. We then stuck to a sleep plan to the minute, including mealtimes (he was 18 months when we did this so older than yours). I never let him sleep even 5 minutes longer for his naps, or in the morning. And never let him sleep past 3pm. After a couple of weeks he was much more settled. Sleeping at night didn't happen until we sorted out the daytime naps. He was still breastfeeding at night (all night!) at 18 months, so I did have to get my husband involved to help with night-weaning. It just wouldn't have worked if I had done it. Sorting it out was not actually that bad. He is also a persistent one and would have cried till he lost his voice had I tried 'crying it out' methods! Not that my frazzled nerves could have taken it. Anyway, just thought I'd add my bit! He's 3 and a half now and sleeps brilliantly most of the time. Goes to bed, in his own bed, no problem. He still really, really needs the routine though or all hell breaks lose! Hope it gets better for you soon. Sleep is amazingly important!

They all sound great. This year we rented a cottage for a week and 'holiday' is definitely NOT the word that springs to mind!

By the way, I think the doll idea is great. My little boy was breastfeeding a doll at the one o'clock club recently and saying "ah you've hurt yourself let me kiss it better". I was absolutely amazed - real empathy! very heartwarming. Then in the next minute he had rammed his bike, at full speed, into one of those cars with a small kid inside leaving her screaming, but hey none of us are angels all the time!!

My little boy can be like this. He was certainly like that at 16 months. I don't think it's anything to worry about Fi. He was very frustrated before he could speak and just resorted to violence because he was so frustrated at not being able to communicate. He does seem to also need a high level of attention. Once he could communicate more effectively he was less aggressive in the totally random sense. It does still happen if he is tired and impatient. Sometimes he has trouble if he desperately wants to play with another child, but just doesn't have the social skill yet to be able to vocalise his need so tends to antagonise them instead. 16 months is very young, so I really wouldn't worry too much. I understand that it can be totally mortifying though! Mine was breastfed, shared our bed and I've been at home with him also. I found that scolding him about it makes it worse, so tend to just take him off for a bit and get him out of the situation with other kids which he is obviously finding difficult to handle..not in a punishment kind of way, just for a breather and re-group. Certain children/environments tend to bring it out in him. He is a little mischief maker and at 3 still learning about social encounters. He is incredibly perceptive and he picks up on the social pressure I am feeling with other mums too, so he acts up even more. I tend to choose playmates more carefully these days, as it can make a massive difference. My lad is very small for his age, so it's easier in that sense as he doesn't tend to try it on with bigger kids...funny how they suss that one out very quickly!! Anyway, it will resolve itself. Just take the pressure off both of you and don't worry about it.

Really interesting posts. So many different situations. How can any very generalised study really get to the bottom of anything at all? Whether it's in our favour or not, I just wonder why they are writing all this stuff? It just seems to undermine women, not empower them.

I wasn't feeling particularly sensitive about the thread being divisive to be honest. Just prompting a bit of discussion about mothers being divided in general. I get very fed up of the media bullying mothers one way or another. You basically can't win and no matter what you do they seem to think you are going to totally screw up your kids. And it's definitely going to be the mother's (and definitely not the father's) fault. I work one day a week, so mostly stay at home and look after the kids and people (other mothers) have implied that i've choosen the easy option and must have loads of money to be able to do it. And "how do you fill you time?" is the absolute classic. I go to work to have a break! Looking after kids is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! It's physically and mentally draining and utterly relentless at times. It's also financially very hard living on one salary. Despite all this I am very happy with my choices and wouldn't change it for a minute, but the days would be much easier without any additional pressure or judgment. I am not letting the sisterhood down by not going back to work full time. It's a personal choice. I certainly wouldn't judge someone else for working full-time, which must also be very tough. It's just a shame there is so much guilt floating around, which often results in mother's not supporting each other enough. Oh it's good to have a bit of a moan! And thanks for the "YAY" Fairylamb..I needed that!

fairylamb Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I know this was mentioned at the bottom of another > thread but I think it deserves its own thread. Or > maybe someone's already posted this and I was too > busy to notice. Anyway.. > > http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/01 > /babies-dont-suffer-working-mothers > > a big YAY to us working mums! A big YAY to all mums, working or not. Why does there have to be such a divide?

Yes, your little one sounds like he's well on his way Fi! They definitely get more calculated about it as they get older I reckon. I keep thinking this zestful curiosity and michief making must be coming to a peak at 3yrs, but I have a real feeling it's personality! I love Sophiesofa's sawn out of the back of a chair story. Brilliant ha!

It's my three year old boy's job to be up to as much mischief as possible...still...and he takes his work very seriously! *taking the tops off the salt and pepper grinders in the park cafe and emptying the contents all over the table/floor. *watering the inside of the house with the hosepipe on full and then turning it on me as I try to turn it off. *Pooing on my shoe, absolutely on purpose! *Showering the whole sofa with milk out of his cup. *Doing a (I quote) "walking wee" across the carpet *Weeing in the middle of an egg and spoon race...and he wasn't even in the race! *Bringing snails into the house and sticking them on the walls. *Trying to push my credit card down the gap between the floorboards. *Making it "snow" with flour over the kitchen. And I could go on. THere's never a dull moment though.

It's so lovely to hear other parents being this honest. It's just such an incredibly difficult job being a mum/dad and is quite often made much harder by how tough parents can be on each other and on each others children. Everyone is surely doing the best they can under their own particular circumstances - kids included. We have to mess up. It's part of the learning I hope.