littleEDfamily

I'm done with breastfeeding my 16 month old. Seriously done. It's getting into 'bitty' territory and she seems to find biting me hilarious on occasion and also demanding to be fed in public, which I no longer feel comfortable doing. And anyway, I think 'it's time' Problem: she won't touch formula and mostly rejects cow's milk, and has never drunk out of a bottle. I am not worried about her nutrition (she eats loads of stuff and I don't really buy into the tons of milk for toddlers thing), but I just don't know how to replace the bobby habit with something else. It's worst first thing in the morning when she awakens hell bent on boob milk and gets rather cross when it is not forthcoming. What do I give her instead? She'll have a bit of water, which distracts her for about ten seconds, then she comes huntin for mama... Any tricks?

We had a similar arrangement initially for our first baby (who was a similar age). I would not do it again - not that it was terrible, but in retrospect, I think consistency would have been better, for us (in terms of us being able to adjust to a certain routine) and her being able to really bond with her carers. I think for a little tot, the FT nannyshare would be by far preferable to FT nursery. That said, quite a few of my ex colleagues did half nursery half nanny and said they thought it worked really well. I don't think a nanny is like family taking care - I am CONVINCED children know the difference as they pick up on the vibe (point being I think nanny share, esp if it's with another child is more of an adjustment for the child and just different to being looked after by a family member with whom they have a bond and whom they sense you are bonded to. Not to say they don't eventually become very fond of nannies, but in the shorter term, it's more difficult I am sure). Good luck!

Also Billy Joel, 'Just the way you are'......don't go changin', to try and please me....but that made me blub pre-kids.

I get teary over Christmas carols too.... 'Away in a manger' is the one that really gets me, especially when sung by little ones....

Well done forum - to the rescue as ever. I'm actually the coeliac (but quite a 'new' one so still learning). We are having: The rice salad from ellie78 and a few variations vege kebabs with halloumi and yoghurt dip some meat for the non-veges sausages for the non-coeliacs Lardy gluten-free brownies (the nigella ones - thanks for reminding me of the wonders of brownies)for all!

Having a BBQ Sunday with newish friends. Among the people needing to eat are 1x coeliac, 1x vege and trickiest of all 1x person allergic to garlic. Ideally I'd want us all to be able to eat the same thing (as opposed to different options for the different 'special' people). Help!! I thought this would be easy to suss, but my brain has turned to mush. Hummous and pesto are out even!!

Funniest thread for quite some time. My Dad (despite being convinced then and now that my sister and I were the best looking children that ever lived), went through this period of feeling, and stating repeatly, that "short back and sides" (not a cool Mia Farrow crop either, more a sort of lego head style) was the most appropriate haircut for girls. The pictures are not pretty.

Que?

I can relate to wd152, as well as to pretty much what everyone else has had to say. Everyone copes with motherhood in different ways, and if wd152 needs to get away from poo and 'how many ounces' talk for a little while, good for her - it can make you feel like you have entered a strange and bizarre universe that you want to run screaming from. I felt a bit the same at one time. Then I embraced my uncoolness for a while and now I like to think I have found a happy medium between 'mumsy mum' and 30 something with a 'life'.

HH - I think you have a point on the 'bad science'. There is interesting research for sure, but I'm yet to find what I feel is conclusive proof on most parenting issues. Which is why it is particularly annoying (rant inducing!) when you see 'bad science' combined with hysterical morally infused lecturing from so-called 'experts'. I've adopted OJ as my 'pet hate'.

CanelitaPR Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LittleEDfamily why Oliver James has upset > you,haven't read his book but would like to know > more if you don't mind. I wouldn't hire a nanny > as I always prefer to looked after my kids. I can lend you his book if you would like (I bought it in a weak, hysterical moment of wanting to be perfect). I wish I was blessed with your conviction that I wanted to care for my children fulltime myself. The road has been a little less 'linear' shall we say in my case..... Whether it is relevant or not, I wanted to mention that we had an au pair to help me (I work mostly from home in a self employed capacity) over the summer to help me get my work done without going mad and also to allow my hubby and I to have a glimmer of social life, and although I don't think I would have one on an ongoing basis (like my house to myself, basically), she was THE BEST childcare solution ever. She ADORED our children, was wonderful with them and cried buckets when she left. Maybe we were just very lucky, but was 100 times better than any super-dooper qualified nanny or nursery nurse I've ever come across. Yet more pointless ranting from me.... I'll put myself to bed now....

This particular rant was more about how he nastily he came across (to me) than his theories. I am sure there is research to back some of them up, but there is probably just as much research to contradict them. I definitely agree with the woman he was 'debating' that there is way too much hysteria and over-analysing about the 'optimum' way to raise children nowadays. Not saying for a minute I don't have moments of hand wringing, and over zealous parenting, but personally I cannot see how the likes of OJ do anything to really improve the parenting experience or anyone's childhood. To me, he makes everything seem soooooo serious and deeply significant. Obviously this has its place, but where is the fun? The more I do this parenting thing, the more I realise that what kids really appreciate is a fun and happy mummy. OJ just makes me feel all depressed. And I wouldn't let him within a mile of any of my children (mother's instinct: creep alert!!) One more point I will make is that he seems to present nannies as being the 'cure all' for that certain kind of woman who wants to or needs to work. As someone who has had nannies in the past, I know for a fact that despite your best intentions and hard work during the recruitment process, nannies can be very disappointing and unreliable (I love the bit in his book where he says you must make sure you recruit a nanny who will be able to stay with the child from infancy until they are at least 3). Edited to say - agree with previous poster who observed there was no real debate. He seemed to be, as you say, talking about the impact of proper neglect on kids (which is hardly worth debate as I think the consequences are pretty obvious) and the other lady was trying to draw attention to the fact that for most families the sort of thing that OJ was going about is simply not relevant and they are mostly doing a perfectly good job no matter what the parenting style of choice of childcare. It was quite uncomfortable to watch. She could have presented her side better too...

His theories do bug me, mainly as, although he pretends to be pro-women, he clearly blames the mother for any slight psychological imperfection in children. He is hysterically 'child-focused' in my opinion (to an extent that can only be unrealistic for parents) and has some frankly proposterous ideas about childcare (like the government paying for families to all hire nannies as obviously the child will become a complete social outcast later in life if subjected to nursery). Probably not the mosy accurate synopsis of the world according to Guru Oliver.... It just seemed to odd to me to hear someone bleating on about how children must be loved and nurtured etc etc who himself seemed so deeply unlikeable.....I found myself thinking, uurgh, I'm glad he's not my dad, horrible little man.... That felt good too....

I try to be open-minded about these things and have even read his 'How not to f*** them up' book, but having seen how he conducts himself and what a thoroughly unlikeable (maybe even slightly sinister) character he seems to be, I shan't be listening to any more of his hysterical, misogynistic lecturing for even one nano-second. Phew, that felt good.

A friend of mine was in a similar situation and she just took her 3 year old out whenever she fancied it, and they didn't do anything about it. That said, this was Tower Hamlets and she was only in that nursery temporarily as the family was not based permanently in London. Personally, I think it is ridiculous that you are asked to commit to full time or get in 'trouble' Surely it has to be about what the parents feel is best for the child and the family (not to mention fewer days free up space for others). On a practical note, perhaps you can 'invent' a compelling reason why your child will not be able to attend on a particular day.

Hello! We are hoping to go to Sicily for the next half term with our 1 and 4 year olds (and maybe a few mates). I'd love it if someone could recommend a particular villa in Sicily that is suitable for a family. Ideally we'd like to be walking distance to or within a sea village with relaxed family restaurants and a bit of ambience (as opposed to being tucked away somewhere in the hills). We'd also be fine with a reasonably spacious apartment. Anyone been there and can give us a shove in the right direction?

Took our daughter about 2 weeks to consistently stay in sideless bed.....like you we had no option to go to toddler bed as she was climbing out like some crazy loon and then falling to the ground...

I have a question - how bad is it if your one year old won't drink formula or cows' milk? My little one is exclusively breastfed, but I am not always with her all day for various reasons and some days even when I am with her she doesn't seem to be particularly interested in feeding... will have a little bit and then see something she's interested in and toddle off or just start messing about. She is a lovely chunky happy baby who loves her food. She'll sip water out of a cup or whatever out of a cup or through a straw, but she's not having the sort of quantities you get from having a proper 'bottle'. I try to give her a lot of 'wet food' to keep her hydrated, but it's obviously not the same as mummy milk/ formula. Should I be worried if she hardly has any milk during the day? (I suppose I could express, but I detest it and when I have time to do it, I don't have a very good 'yield' - gross!)

Our first at 2 was still having a morning AND afternoon nap. Crazy. She'd then go to bed at 8:30ish at night and slept beautifully. But we didn't have a baby to cope with too so could cope with the late bedtime. I think your wee toddler is just not tired enough at bedtime. Can you maintain sanity with him having only a short nap in the buggy/ car (or a couple of short naps) instead of a long cot nap? With our second, I've adapted now to a totally new expectation of daytime sleep. Ours sleeps in the car/ buggy only (or boob), and it actually works fine, although I do sometimes dream of the 2.5 hour day naps we used to get out of No.1 Oh and I don't think the feeding to sleep thing is as bad as people make out (as long as you're generally around 24/7 until they outgrow it). I still do it sometimes during the day if she is desperate for a sleep, but at night, she has her feed but I put her to sleep in the cot awake and she seems to be fine with that nowadays.

The biggest downside to having a cleaner for me is that she isn't full time. By some strange interference from the universe, my house messes itself up within hours of her leaving. Obviously nothing to do with me or any of my children. I think (some) people have this misconception that people with cleaners swan around like lady muck in a perfectly kept house, but the reality is most people have one for only 2-3 hours a week or fortnight and that's the domestic equivilent of having a facial (your skin looks glowing for a short time and then reverts back to its previous neglected state - but you do feel good while it lasts).

If mummy wants to be a human dummy, then good for her (it'll drive her to the point of extreme exhaustion, however, as it has done me - our second won't take a dummy, and for whatever bizarre reason, I quite like that even it it means I am the dummy, but much less more so nowadays). However, I firmly believe that some babies more than others need to suck a lot - especially when they are very little. If you are going to be expected to have baby quite a bit on your own and you have no facility to help your baby soothe herself (ie no boobs), I think it's a little unfair that you won't have the aid of a dummy. Unless dummies are grossly overused, I am totally unconvinced that they harm baby's speech or general jaw development in any way. The biggest downside to a dummy, I found (with our first child, who loved hers and would have happily sucked on all day - we were quite strict though and only used it when desperate while travelling and for sleep time - she was a great sleeper and a pretty good commuter) is the frantic search for the dummy when it falls out and always having to make sure you have one, that it's clean, that you can get it back in their mouths in the car when they fling it on the floor. So, Karter, I do feel for you, as I can totally understand you wanting to use the dummy for some babies it seems like a 'magic bullet'! But try to remember mum is probably coming to grips with all sorts of preconceptions she had about the kind of mum she wanted to be (I think most of us hoped we wouldn't use dummies, until we realised that there is only one goal in parenthood: the preservation of sanity!), and it will probably take her time to work through all of those (for want of a better word) 'issues'. Try to be patient if you can, but equally Dads should have some say in the matter, as a boob is not always to hand!!

cuppa tea just summed up my life!

Staying at home full time is a full time job. I can't see why anyone who works outside the home has any greater justification for having a cleaner than a SAHM, well at least not when children are very little and need constant attention and create oodles of mess. When you stay at home, your house gets much much messier. I found when I worked mostly outside the home the house stayed much more manageable. The whole 'can you manage' without a cleaner issue I think comes down to how well you are able to manage your house due to your personal level of skill and inclination (some people just prioritise an orderly house above other things). I know some families where the mum and dad both work and their house is totally under control, and others who have older children, don't work and will never get their houses sorted with or without help because basically it's just not that important to them that they are willing to give up other things in order to do housework. I think we need to chill out about the whole cleaner-guilt thing. It's just another way people (who have the option) choose to make use of their disposable income. You shouldn't feel the need to justify it.

Much love your way (and your hubby's for that matter). I enjoyed hearing the word 'sook' as you don't hear it much in the UK. And yes, you are a sook, but you're entitled to be. You must now go and watch family videos and make yourself weep....in for a penny, in for a pound I say....x

Yep - you're being paranoid sophie :-) We live in the country now and I would say most of the mums at my 4 year old's nursery are SAHMs, and they seem totally cool with it - and look ar me like some sort of madwoman as I fly in to collect her 10 minutes late looking like I have been dragged backwards through a hedge! I do think it's different in London though, where I think there is subtle pressure not to be a just SAHM (mainly I think as the majority of mums do work outside the home). I've never been a 100% SAHM (I work for myself), but I do know that during mat leave with number 1 I was not a happy bunny, so even if society had worshipped at the alter of mummy, I couldn't have done it (full time staying at home with kids and no other business/ professional interests) long term. But I really don't think there is a perfect solution to all of this stuff. I have found I am much happier since I accepted that at times everything will seem totally unworkable and I will feel exhausted and paranoid that I haven't got the balance right and that I am going to go crazy and my kids will hate me. But it has taken me 4 long years to realise that I won't find that nirvana of perfect career/ perfect homelife and it's better to just embrace the chaos. I have nothing but respect for fulltime SAHMs, as long as they're doing it because that's the option they find the most satisfying (or of course, they have no option but to stay at home full time, in which I case I empathise, as it's an awful feeling to have to be a fulltime homemaker when it isn't 'you'.) Anyway, rambling now.....one of my more pointless posts for a while....