littleEDfamily

reneet (and actually RB too), I really feel for you. You are not, repeat not! being a sissy. If you have the funds to buy yourself some help, do it! What about that lovely home cooked meals service? Any chance hubby could do some of the nursery pick ups? (I know that sometimes it only works for one person to do it for any number of logistical or job reasons, so not criticising your hubby). Pregnancy is a phenomenally amazing thing, it's a temporary body transformation if you think about it. It's 100% acceptable to feel differently while pregnant and to bow out of anything that feels too much. That includes work - can you take sick leave, or ask for alternative hours (your employers would be obligated to be flexible, but I know how things are often not that simple....). Oh and a second pregnancy is a world away from the first from an exhaustion perspective. The lack of sleep ins and constant work of a toddler erodes any time you have to recharge.

just did a quick google on air crew flying, trying to find the article I originally read... looks like it's not allowed in Europe, but in the US and Aus it's optional (you can take your normal job or do ground work) until around the last trimester.

I think highly unlikely baby k will be affected in any way by one (or two I guess) 3/4 hour flights, but would be interested what your midwives say. I am a bit of a worrier and yet decided it was fine to go all the way to Oz (6 flights). Air crew keep flying (albeit not as much as usual) if the preg is normal. For me, the nice holiday away was the best thing I could have done... the relaxation and sunshine were just what the doc ordered! PS Can I just say, karter, I love how involved you are getting with this baby lark!

Depends on the temperature of where you've been. If out pushing buggy in freezing cold, it will keep nicely, but if in hot cafes and cars, my gut is anything more than an hour or two max would be dodgy.

The best time to fly is in the 2nd trimester. You can fly later, but I am inclined to think 33/34 weeks may be a fraction late. Is it long haul or just a quickie? If the latter, you'll prob be just fine, but it's totally personal choice. I read up a bit on this when deciding whether to fly to Oz at around 5 months. You may want to consider 'cosmic radiation', but to be honest unless you fly A LOT during preg, there is no evidence at all that it affects the baby. I think it's a lovely idea to have some time together before everything happens!!

I don't have a fast metabolism normally, but with both mine the weight has just fallen off me to below pre-preg size within 5 months, despite eating like a horse. I gave up around a year with my first as I felt she had literally sucked the life out of me. I put a few kilos on after giving up b/f and went back to normal size. My sister had the opposite experience and gained weight bf.

I saw it! Was keeping mum as had far too much to say for myself last week. As usual I spent at least some of the time hiding under my jumper!

Thanks ClareC. It's like an overflow pipe of sorts, the ear that is. The doc said that when there is too much pressure in the head from congestion, the ear gets a little hole and it comes out of there. Pretty gross. They seemed quite relaxed about it - apparently quite common with little ones. I feel awful for her as she she was quite whingey on Friday night, but quite chipper on Sat when the ear snot started. Maybe it's one of those better in than out scenarios!

Turns out, after going to doc afterall, she has a perforated eardrum. Makes sense....

Our 7 month old has had quite a rotten cold. No temperature, except last Friday was slightly elevated. Just really snotty - pretty chirpy baby so smiley, eating and drinking as normal. But! She is quite alarmingly full of snot, and, here comes my question - even her ears are gunky. It doesn't seem to hurt her at all if I touch them, but it seems there is snot actually coming out of her ear. Poor tot. I am loathe to take her to the doc, as it is so full of sick people and I suspect they would say there is nothing they can do, but should I be more concerned about this ear snot?

Thanks, new mother. I have met plenty of doctors I wouldn't trust to pack my shopping. On your point about what might occur if men gave birth - I think midwifery (or would that be midhusbandry.. he he...) would be much better resourced, better paid and better regarded. Many things worth doing involve pain in one way or another (if you've ever run a marathon or had a brazilian you'll know what I mean). Not that I have had a brazilian, it's just the first thing I thought of... Looking forward to more hilarity (and blubbering) tomorrow. Ruth Baldock- prepare to get high!!!

Grandparents? Friend who owe you a favour?

I think nonsense, Keef, but I did think about it for a minute. One of the hormones you produce while labouring makes you very susceptible to suggestion and if you are not encouraged by someone with compassion and knowledge, you can completely lose your confidence. That said, I had one pretty awful midwife and her bedside manner was what prompted me to deliver my own baby (not something that I would plan to repeat). Edited to add 'losing your confidence' may sound benign enough, but feeling unsupported is, from what I have read, a main cause of the ubiquitous 'failure to progress'. And I believe it! My sister, as an example, was labouring well until a junior doctor waltzed in and told her she wasn't dilating quickly enough, and whaddayaknow, everything ground to a halt.

LoisLane - every good wish your way! As my wise midwife told me "the biggest obstacle to birth is fear". Believe in yourself and your ability to do it, and you will give yourself the best possible chance of a good birth. (puts cheerleader outfit away with a little woop and punch of the air!)

I know quite a few people who have gone the elective route, and speak very positively of their experience. My personal view is that all those individuals did the right thing by going elective c-section as mentally for one reason or another they were not prepared for attempting labour. Just out of interest, and understand of course if you don't want to share, but what made you decide on an elective section?

Birth is brutal. But it IS possible to have a lovely cup of tea afterwards with your newborn surrounded by your family and lovely midwives. Don't give up the dream!! And second Belle in saying that a transfer in an emergency if you live very close to hospital can be as quick from home as in the hospital. And finally, as regards the 'safety' of hospital - my mother who delivered me by c-section in a private hospital nearly died of septicaemia after she developed in infection. Hospitals create their own unique risks. PS for someone with sod all knowledge of vbacs I've had rather a lot to say on this thread...sorry...

My Mum was a remedial reading teacher at a Steiner school for some time. In her role as a specialist, she wasn't required to buy into the Steiner philosophy, and (reading between the lines) she found the ethos odd and thought that it was absolutely not right for certain children who were suffocated and bored by Steinerism. I think, and apologies for cutting to the chase here, she thought that they were basically loonies and belived that fringe schools make it even harder for 'alternative' children to deal with the 'real world'! I tend to agree, so Steiner certainly wouldn't be my choice of school. I'd like to see fewer faith schools and fringe schools, and instead much better quality bog standard state schools.

Snowboarder - meant to add, I do understand what you mean about people calling you can idiot for pursuing a course of action you have carefully researched and considered. I know when I was planning a home birth, normally diplomatic people all but called me a crazy hippy. The one that really hurt was my brother in law telling me I was 'putting personal preference over safety'. Ouch.

Re: Kings midwives - it is like any profession, you get the good, the bad and the ugly. And I think you get (or appear to get) more of the bad and ugly in places, such as Kings that are very stretched. Certainly the midwife who delivered my first baby was not a million miles away from Emily's description (I have heard Kings midwives I know casually share similar sentiments about her). But..... I have encountered more who were closer to Moos' description, so if we're playing an averages game, there is hope! As far as new parents are concerned, I think it is helpful to face up to the fact that you may get someone on 'the day' you really don't gel with, and make sure you are prepared to stand up for what you feel is right for you.

As Forgetful is someone with personal experience of a terrifying life threatening VBAC attempt, I think he is well qualified to give his perspective however he feels best captures it. I don't think it's any different to someone who has been lucky enough to have had a successful VBAC posting (as of course they would be entitled to) words of encouragement that may downplay the risks. I have no particular knowledge of VBAC (but have learnt a lot from this thread) so won't say anything else except I wish anyone considering one and where to attempt it all the best with what must be a tough and at times confusing decision.

DMC can give you a referral to the chiro as well. My low back and pelvis were totally unstable and very sore during my last pregnancy, and in the latter stages I saw the chiro as much as a couple of times a week - Daniel the chap in Crystal Palace Rd. Absolutely saved me. You get 8 sessions on NHS then you need to pay or go via private health...click, click, clickety click. I am sure that having your pelvis as well aligned as possible can make for a better birth. Just my opinion...good luck; I empathise!

Another question to chuck out there - do people think c-sections should be made an option for all? Some consider even attempting natural labour to be uncivilised...I think you know what I think of that, but interested in others' views, especially those who believe strongly in patient 'carte blanche' where labour pain relief is concerned.

Back to the programme, I don't believe the midwife in question was delaying the epidural in order to make her suffer; I don't think she believed the lady was in established labour (I'm sure she said that to her colleagues). I must admit I don't know the ins and outs of the optimum time to administer an epidural, but I believe that the time is once labour is in full swing. Apologies, am in quite a grumpy mood today. Really not trying to upset anyone, but I do feel strongly that pain when it is in relation to a normal labour is something that cannot be simply 'dealt with'. I do love that programme, emotional and hilarious simultaneously. And it's an excellent contraceptive for me.

Yep, belle, I agree - you never know what you're going to get going into childbirth. I think the epi risks are very small in terms of paralysis etc, but the correlation between extended labour and the need for further intervention is significant, as I understand it. And I also agree that boasting about doing it with no pain relief is annoying and insensitive, but for me no more so than people boasting about 'taking all the drugs'.

It's not a coherent argument you make, new mother. I was clearly making a distinction between complicated birth, requiring medical intervention and normal physiological childbirth. The latter is not remotely the same as a traumatic injury such as a broken leg. Birth is a complex process and interfering with the body's ability to respond to pain had been proven to interfere with that process, increasing the likelihood of intervention and less favourable outcomes for mother and baby. I am no masochist; on the contrary, I believe the acceptance of the pain of childbirth is a form of enlightened self-interest. I don't want to make this a personal argument, or an emotive one, but I decided against an epidural on the grounds I wasn't prepared to accept the associated risks and didn't want the extended labour and increased likelihood of intervention goes along with it. I emphatically dispute that my stance is anti-woman. In my view, it is far more insulting to woman to be told that their bodies are in some way defective and that they are not equipped for a process that (in normal circumstances) they have evolved to carry out. Although I do accept that modern babies may be slightly larger than they were in the past, so are we. And the pain of childbirth is not entirely related to the size of the baby, but rather to the the physiological processes required to prepare the body for delivery. If there were medical evidence to demonstrate that pain relief via anasthesia (epidural) or narcotics (pethedine) has no significant outcome on mother or baby at a macro level (we all know individuals that have had good births using both), I would take an entirely different view, but this is not the case. When we are under medical supervision for real illness or injury, we are not able to dictate what treatment we receive - my husband is regularly in hospital for kidney stones treatment always asks for morphine (it must be good!) but doesn't always get it. The role of a competent and ethical medical professional is to protect our health and assist our bodies to heal, not merely to shield us from pain.