littleEDfamily

Meant to be having a forum break, but couldn't resist sharing my enjoyment of this week's episode. I am soooo the twin of that big sister.... I would be a rubbish birth partner - I found myself responding exactly like her to the whole thing. But what a cool customer is little sis (and what is with her man friend's non-stop texting!!!?) Thank god I am not having any more children. It's bl**dy awful. Even the good births.

I am definitely sleep deprived, as Nappy Lady, your poem made me cry. So much helpful stuff in your responses. I am taking a forum break for the week to try and focus in implementing some of these tips (picking up after myself, cleaning my sink AS WELL as rocking my baby). I'll let you know how I get on...!

We almost always buy second hand furniture. I can't stand the laminated MDF type of stuff esp for kids as it chips and most of the time I think it's overpriced for what it is. Ebay or any of the 'junk' shops will have something you could give a lick of paint and bob's yer uncle. There's a nice Boori one on ebay for ?100 at the mo (based in Lewisham).

One thing I never expected when I gave up a 'proper' job was how much extra work is created when you are at home for the majority of the day. When you are at work and sprog is at childcare, the house at least stays as it was in the morning, but we trash it on a daily basis... the nearly 4 year old just moves tut all over the house.....and I just don't have the energy to really enforce better tidyness (of course, I shriek and say things like 'no wonder mummy doesn't have time to play with you, I am too busy tidying up your mess!!', but that's hardly constructive). Second what others have said about our kids being worse at amusing themselves than I am sure we were.. I am seriously considering a playpen for when little one starts crawling.....

My kids (and ok, I am prone to messiness as well) seem to mess faster than I can tidy. I love cooking and don't mind cleaning, but I just cannot find enough hours in the day to do all those lovely baking and crafty type things I would love to do - I'm too busy trying to achieve basic levels of hygiene and order, as well as putting decent food on the table. Oh and don't get me started on the washing......we all are constantly covered in vomit, food and occasionally leaky poo.... I can hear my mum's words in my head 'you need to be organised', but I am not sure exactly how to achieve it! Just doing the recycling and sorting out the mail takes ages. I do work from home, but I don't think that's really an excuse, and I am actually very on top of work things. It's like I have fundamental defect when it comes to being a housekeeper. I agree with you charlottep that we do take on more than previous generations, but I am definitely not a non-stop activity mum - I should have the time to do better! That book sounds worth trying, thank you womanofdulwich.... Do you guys have proper 'rotas' for what needs to be done when (like cleaning oven, cleaning out fridge, descaling kettle, cleaning toys, washing windows, clearing out kitchen cupboards etc etc etc..) or do you just play it by ear?

My grandmother was a true homemaker (despite having the brains to have done pretty much anything she wanted). That house was ship shape - she made all the kids clothes, did delicious baking and home was clean as a whistle. My mum, despite being a working mother, did a great job of running the house too. My sister and I, on the other hand.... er... rather less capable. I detest a dirty house, but seem to be losing my battle on the chaos. Some of that chaos could well be alleviated by a cleaner, but I wonder if what I really need is someone to just sort me out, introduce systems - tell me how a true homemaker runs a house. Sort of a management consultant for houses. Is this a ludicrous idea? Is the reason I can't sort myself out simply that I spend too much time on the Forum, or do I just need to upskill?

Only fortified cereals will have masses of iron. I agree with sc that most of the foods we start our babies on are virtually iron free, so I can't see how earlier introduction of solids will provide much of a barrier to anaemia. I don't think we are personally attacking each other, just sharing our personal interpretations of so called 'evidence' combined with our instincts. Many of the choices we make about our own health and that of our kids rely on us being able to rationally weigh up potentially conflicting arguments. For instance, should I deny my baby food when everything I observe about them (grabbing my food, feeding on milk constantly, waking in the night) makes me believe they need more than milk because they have an increased chance of developing an allergy later in life??? Equally, I think it's foolish to ignore research and just steam ahead with what feels right ( I remember a lady in my baby group stating she was giving her baby (then 3 months) bottles of juice because she seemed 'bored with water'). Both my girls started on solids (I'm never sure exactly what 'weaned means) around 5.5 months. I belived the guidelines at the time (6 months) were sensible, but as my girls were larger than average, fascinated by food, could sit in a highchair and we had no family history of allergies, I figured a little less than 6 months was a sensible compromise and am pretty comfortable with those decisions, even in light of today's articles.

Do you want to put your baby in nursery now? (3 months)?

I heard boys get a testosterone shot at around 4 years of age, replacing the sweet as pie mummies' boys with terrors prepared to try and shoot you with any implement. Fact or fiction?

Not to mention that green is a 'limited edition' model.

Apparently the fours are the golden time, Pickle, and just in the nick of time, my 3 year old seems to leaving the irrationality of late toddlerhood behind. OP - count yourself lucky, mine started being headstrong and rebellious around 15 months. It has taken all my energy to get through the last 2 years and not be bulldozed into submission. Try to remember to be kind but firm (although I have frequently resorted to fishwife like screeching, which I fear is unavoidable.) Bon courage!

I can't believe I am agreeing with Keef again. DH is definitely vom-tastic. Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Out of interest, what does "DH" stand for? I know > it's your other half / Husband, but I don't know > what the D stands for. > > Just looked it up, and it means "Dear Husband". > Yuk yuk yuk, you should all stop using it > immediately! > > Anyway, sorry, back to one born every minute. Missed One Born Every Minute - totally forgot about it, so thank you for the reminder for next time!

Take time to smell the roses. I had the routine sorted with first, but didn't take the time to just enjoy her gorgeousness. With second, I have gone all attachment and am only just now (6 months) getting a routine sorted. I have really enjoyed her, but I am exhausted beyond belief. So.... if I had a third, I would push for a routine (and get them in their own room) earlier, by 3/4 months, but also learn my lesson from the first that babies are adorable and to indulge myself and them more. One thing I would not change though is being 'strict' with them from toddlerhood. From about 18 months, I think it has to be all about consistency, routine and making sure they start to recognise you as being in charge. I do (trying not to be offensive, but probably failing) think overly permissive parenting spawns selfish brats! But I'm not having a third, so I just have to accept that hindsight is a wonderful thing :-) PS Edited to say a Gina-esque routine is not, in my opinion, selfish. You have to be honest with your self and recognise when something you thought would work doesn't....if you're having a shocker with baby led parenting, Gina type stuff can provide a lifeline.

There is no way a 2 year and 8 month old child should be expected to do this. Yes, of course there are many children who are very independent at that age, and even earlier, but that's not to say he is lagging. My aunt teaches 3-5 year olds and says she has loads of 4 year olds (especially boys) who struggle with their shoes and coat. I think at that age, it's probably more down to their temperament (not being bothered) rather than capability, though. My daughter was very independent from a very early age, but she still now (nearly 4) goes through phases where she just can't be bothered and I need to help. I wouldn't worry at all if you need to do those things for a not even 3 year old. Nursery needs to pull finger, I say!

I subscribe to this newsletter... and actually read it this month - thought would share as found quite useful.

I think another poster had comments along these lines, but I do think the most important thing has to be your relationship with your husband. I think you have to find out exactly where he feels the boundaries are with the MIL - at what point does he agree you shouldn't have to tolerate her nonsense? And if you think those boundaries are too lax, I would focus on getting him to see your point of view. I tend to think once you and he agree on what is and is not acceptable and you know he will stick by you to enforce it, it then just becomes a case of MIL conforming or you showing her the front door. Too simplistic?

Have you taken any of the old decorative items to the new room, or is everything in it new?

I think considerably more height than I have is also required to pull it off. And, yes, young and thin would help. But.......even if blessed in all 3 categories, I feel one might look like a bit of a tw*t!:)

Hay hay - it's a question of whether it is against the company's interests for you to communicate certain information to particular individuals via FB. For instance, if they catch you posting to FB (and you have friends who are clients or potential clients) 'Work is rubbish, I hate it and my colleagues are idiots', they would probably have grounds to discipline you. So, unless you are doing anything on fb that could be perceived to be not in the best interests of the company, or are adding friends that are purely work related (clients exp) then I very much doubt they can interfere with what you get up to in your personal life.

Where do I start?? - internet swoonage is pretty much my occupation. For the sprogs - http://www.pinksandgreen.co.uk/products-page/perfect-playtime/ For me (based on my husband's rather bizarre reckoning) http://www.onepiece.co.uk/onepiece-split-pink-kelly-p-2517.html?osCsid=4faaa6800659c16b17c78a3d1e00c669 I don't really know what to say about these babygrows for adults. The two tone aspect of this one reminds me of a tracksuit my mother made me in the 80s (one leg purple, one leg yellow)...

I could share details around the reasons for the extent of blood and gore, but I think I would make myself vom.

Oh, one CON for homebirth. Looked like a B-grade horror movie afterwards (blood and gore). A bit freaked out about that being in my living room. Lovely midwives do clean up, bless them. BUT BEWARE - 'used' towels should be washed in cool water, or they will go green. Quite foul really.

I've had one at Kings and one at home. Both good births, relatively speaking. For the first - PROS - it wasn't so terrible, one good midwife, got a nice pool to float around in (for free) CONS - hated the post natal ward, didn't know my midwives and really didn't like the second one I had, the trip to the hospital was excruciating, felt a bit like a 'number', blood splats in shared toilet on post natal ward and noisy room mates freaked me out. For the second (at home) - PROS - felt much more in control of things, didn't have to worry about transferring to hospital at the right time (ie not so early they send you home, not so late you want to kill yourself in the car), had great care all the way through preg and knew one of the midwives who delivered (the others I knew by name as had been prepped for who would be there if my main one was not available), got to have tea and toast straight afterwards and my husband didn't get sent home. CONS - none!

My wee one is nearly 6 months and we are in a MUCH better place than at 5 months. Firstly, she is now sleeping in her cot for a proper sleep at least once, sometimes twice a day instead of cat naps in car and on boob (and um, yes, also found trying sleeping on the tummy has been helpful). She goes to bed at 7pm and, like yours wakes about 10:30pm for some milk. I am in the habit of then letting her co-sleep and feed all night as she wants. Just recently though, she is feeding less and less during the night and we are starting to put her back in her cot after the 10:30pm feed and encourage her to stay there for the rest of or at least most of the night. She just 'feels' ready for that next step (as SR suggests shusshing and patting instead of feeding), which I didn't feel she was a month ago. I do think the recent introduction of solids has helped. So my (not very expert) advice is to chug along as you are for the next month or two and the next step will become clearer to you.

randombloke, I love you. Pity I am actually happily married ;-)