*Bob*

You know.. just ask them: "Excuse me, could you help settle an argument: was you son/brother/mate fatally injured, or is he just dead?"

You could ask the bloke's family and friends maybe? After all, there's a fair chance some of them will be reading.

'Hilarious' And nonsense.. Waitrose know only too well that the more money people have, the tighter they get.

Sounds like they did things a little.. er.. differently - back at your school.

"Alas poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio" D- see me

Alan, I suspect 'giant skull' is probably all you need to go on. Unless there happen to be oversized decorative skulls littering every corner round your way?

Somehow I don't think either Syco or ITV will be rushing to can a franchise which bagged 14 million viewers at the weekend.

Well said, Large. I was having a drink in the Horsemeat & Ricketts near Elephant and I couldn't help but admire how all the little soot-faced cockernee rugrats - fresh from being pushed up a chimney - rubbed along so well with the old syphilitic alcoholics. It was a joy to behold.. the little ones listened solemnly to stories about the war, were silent except when spoken to and drank their gin without too much beating. We could all learn something from them.

"It's a ladder baby, you just gotta keep climbing it". cringe

Oh come now, it wasn't that dull. Alexandra Burke reclaimed her crown of 'most insincere, least likeable' with a desperately toe-curling performance which screamed 'hire me, pleeeeeeeeease' from the rooftops of ITV. Actually it's the first one I've seen.

Damian H Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It is quite entertaining to have such a motley > crew dancing on a string. Yes. dancing to the tune of your big brain. It is a beauty though. Can I touch it, Damian? Can I touch your really big brain?

Someone help me.. I'm being crushed by Damian's really big brain! ooof

Damian, perhaps if you could just give us a definitive list of all the places where mothers with children have annoyed you - to date, appended by another list of all the places where mothers with children haven't annoyed you 'yet' but 'probably will' at some point in the future - then you can save yourself a lot of typing over the years to come.

Dave, you forgot 'droning on and on like a stuck record until - one by one - everybody loses the will to live and slumps motionless onto the sofa, praying silently for oblivion'.

I tried the knob thing first - obviously - and then (in desperation, admittedly) attempted to stuff some scrotum into the SD card reader. But to no avail.. it was beyond my wit and ken.

Now all I need are some friends. The phones are plugged in and I've run some tests - they seem to be functioning - but, no friends. Any suggestions?

She's aliiiiiiive! I thank you.

That all makes sense.. an enormous glass of wine first to steady the old nerves and I'm going in.

Thanks for this: The Modem worked fine with Airport Express (set to 'join an existing network') previously. The modem works fine with the Powerline (I've tested this to make sure it's working). I'm assuming I need to reconfigure something in the airport express - but the airport express seems to want to be reconfigured via the modem in order to work with the modem. But connecting all three disables the modem, so I can't reconfigure the AE.. I'm probably explaining this very poorly. I did have one thought: I'm 'reconfiguring' an existing AE setup: should I be doing a factory reset of the AE - and then when I plug all three in it will start afresh and organise itself without a conflict?

I imagined that by this point in the day I would be leaning back smugly and wirelessly enjoying the latest sounds from top beat combos - not seething with anger and wanting two hours of my life back. Can anyone offer any advice? The plan was to connect my modem via ethernet to a powerline adaptor, then connect the other one of the powerline pair into my airport express in order to listen to 'tunes' wirelessly on Spotify (the powerline was to fix dropouts in sound I was experiencing). So, modem working fine. Power-up powerlines.. all fine. But as soon as I make the ethernet connection to the airport express, the modem stops working. Why would this be? Anyone..? Bueller..?

Ah.. you mean like Westfield White City?

It does have lots of 'shops' - which apparently are useful if you want to go 'shopping'.

Reminds me of a sample CD I have called Various Electronic Noises From Analogue Synthesizers Volume 4

Perhaps in six or seven hundred years, the music lecturer of the future will instruct on all the classics: Night On A Bare Mountain, Water Music, Rattle and Hum..

What if (some years down the line) you stumbled across one of your kids shoving this weird spikey thing into their ear (accompanied by a small trickle of blood and an orgasmic roll of the eyes) and it silently pumped hypnotic frequencies into their brain as they sat there for hours on end with a vacant look on their face.. and then you found out all their friends were doing it as well.. in a vast cavernous underground bunkers.. line upon line of teenagers sitting silently with glazed expressions for 18 hours of the weekend. Would you be shocked?