*Bob*

Smoked cheese is evil. It conceals itself on the cheese board and lies in wait for you - like a can of lager at a party that someone's dropped their ash into.

But I've never even cracked a smile at Groucho Marx. Then I went to see Brand as a 'waiverer' and laughed so hard I nearly had a fit. And my Mum likes My Family. What's your point? What sort of cheese do you prefer?

Why have a cigarette with your beer when you can have a cigarette in your beer?

Dip a Marly 100 into the can until all the liquid is absorbed; allow to air-dry; light and enjoy.

steveo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Your time seems well spent Bob I'm onto a winning working formula. If it aint broke..

Are there any other comedians we could list who are thought to be 'not funny at all', 'a bit funny', or 'really funny' - depending on what sort of comedy you like? After that we could move on to bands, then types of cheese etc. Time well spent.

I mean I'm not suggesting you've got to do all three, but if you don't do any, then you'd better have a bloody good reason why not.

In all honesty, I don't trust people who don't drink, smoke or do drugs.

"Penis size murderers get hard time"

I don't think it is - or if it is, someone's gone to great lengths. There are reports and updates on the trial online - plus other stuff on Kiweweesi too.

Jeremy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Bob's image = fake > > Still funny though Is it a fake?

I only just noticed that the inset pictures are captioned 'accused' and 'shafted'.

Sent to me by an overseas friend..

Axeman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I think it's a fantastic idea. Care to lead by > example? Can you give me a few pointers, Axe? I think I'm sorted for a few off-the-peg 'topics' but I'm really struggling with trying to pad-out my opener in an effort to make me look a bit more serious. Any tips? How would you do it?

Today, whilst flicking through The Metro, I came-up with an idea for a thread. It's the kind of topic you get on radio phone-ins, day in, day out and - occasionally - makes the lunchtime news, assuming no bombs have gone off somewhere important. I mentioned it to a colleague at a business luncheon - and it transpired that he had also read the same story - not in The Metro, but in another free newspaper. Now some of you might say that this is the kind of thread that could be started using just one or two lines. But - in an attempt to make it seem slightly more considered and thoughtful, I'm going to use a lot more than that. So, East Dulwich.. what do you think?

see also 'housing stock' please, please stop it

(swish of cape)

It's a this point in the debate that I'd like to introduce a picture of a man holding-up a gigantic rabbit.

You haven't been watching those 'V' box sets again, have you Tarot? It's not good for you.

They're also the only posts that 'look stoned'

Everything has its place. I wouldn't sit around puffing it all day (er, not any more anyway) but if you're going to a festival and filling your boots with all the rest, nothing other then skunk will really touch the sides. The problem with skunk is that it's so widely in demand (I blame 'the youth' - and indeed 'the meeja' for glorifying the stuff massively at every opportunity) that it's hard to find any decent alternatives amongst the duff resin and commercial weed full of twigs usually on offer.

Then, Brendan, they are truly fukced

Tarot Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- Im not keen on Gamu, just > because shes related to Makosi from B.B. You're right - she must be - on account of being black and all.

How did they get there, Sean? Give us some background. Do they eventually fall in love and stuff?

So the lesson seems to be "if you get wood, make sure your neighbour gets some".