*Bob*

Boom-TISH

I have my drum and cymbal at the ready..

Sorry, Waynetta. Please accept this picture by way of an apology.

But it was a picture of penis, dressed as a cowboy, posted with the caption 'this is what I call a minger' = No irony.

Where's the irony?

Honestly - you should give YouTube a go. You can say what you like on there - the more stoopid, the better. Wanna bang on about Muslims, Gypsies etc etc? No problem! They love it. You'll be right at home! Neither spelling nor punctuation - or even sense - are required. In fact, you can just lean on the keyboard with your forearm, post it - and you'll probably get a standing ovation! You were born for it. Alas, it's an early bath for me tonight - but don't let that stop you. Enjoy the next hour. This is your time to shine. I look forward to it. Goonight, sweet prince. *Mwah*

Tarot Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Bob said ? ? ? Look, if you're going to play, then you're going to have to try and do better than this. Have you tried YouTube? The comments section there is very popular amongst remedials - from all over the world.

Londonfireman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Tell him if he wants to see real firefighters in > action he's welcome to come see us at work any > time! I can only speculate at what his response might be. Actually maybe I just won't mention it.

Londonfireman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- The > resident of the UK have the privilege of having > the best firefighters in the world. I must let the only fireman in our family know.. he's a stationmaster in Australia.

I've never had an Easter Egg or Christmas card 'go off' near my face though - after being lobbed at me by a herd of cackling 'yoot'.

We call him 'Fat Legs'. Check 'em out next time you see him. They really are quite fat.

I can assure you that neither Simon Cowell nor his production team have in any way influenced the decision to carry a candidate from Dublin this year - all contestants have been selected solely by their mentors and on a basis of merit and talent alone.

Storm.. he looks like the kind of person who maims insects for kicks. I wouldn't want to be trapped in a lift with him when the chips were down - ie around nowish. I have to say that this years crop are particularly awful. I thought Matt Cardle was going to be 'the talent' this year, but it appears his voice doesn't really work when amplified and put to a backing track, which is an unfortunate disadvantage when you want to make pop records. Last week we made the mistake of cutting straight from the XF straight into a performance by Cee Lo Green & his band on Jools Holland - and came back to musical reality with too much of a bump. Still, hearing X-Factor announcer Peter Dickson attempt to apply his trademark showbiz gloss to the name 'Grimshaw' is well worth tuning-in for.

The main issue that people here in the UK have with FFs is that their job is too darned popular and that the people who do it seem to enjoy it too much. Bastards! Paramedics, the Police or the RNLI may attract admiration, but no-one envies their jobs. We want our emergency services to suffer, goddammit! Doing an important job is not enough - you need to be doing it under unenviable conditions to boot.

Steve's story is a bit like.. My neighbour took our car to be serviced by experts. They fit the steering wheel on backwards, only used one nut on each wheel, left the cap of the radiator. On their way home the car crashed into a tree. My neighbour regretted the whole experience and there was also the extra cost of having to get their car serviced properly by someone who actually knew their arse from their elbow.

As opposed to 'inside of it'.. like The Bishop?

Reasons for striking that are never properly explained or understood by the general public - check Dissent (on account of the above) met with 'how would you like to burn to death?' - check Groundhog Day. Firefighters strike.

A small amount of effort (and expense) is required, but this is more that made-up for by not having to sit through the next decade of miserable winters in a gloomy victorian room, staring at a magnolia wall with the radiators on full blast, waiting for the sun to come out again. The chimney lining is a bitch but you don't necessarily need to do it. Burn a modern stove, use decent fuel and you'll only have to clean it out every few weeks - 2 minutes, no dust. If getting up to put a log on a fire once an hour and watch it burn is 'a pain', you've probably given-up on life itself anyway.

I like to think of it more as 'recycling'

Twiki.. cor! I mean.. feast your eyes! Dr Theopolis will have to go though - three's a crowd.

J84, It was a poorly placed - a poorly put - post on behalf of JB for sure. But if part of your issue is 'people being made to feel scared in their own homes' and assuming this applies to people who haven't suffered a burglary as well as those who have - then part of the remedy for this is to place a cluster of incidents within the context of overall crime figures (if you can believe those, of course). Doesn't help anyone who's been done over - and sympathies to all, but it's a point worth making.

Could robots ever be truly capable of making ethical decisions? I hope not. This would put paid to my dream of - one day - getting a blow job off Twikki.

We're making a little progress down here in ED, but clearly we have some way to go..

what goes on down the mine, stays down the mine

A burka, perhaps?