*Bob*

charliecharlie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ps the soup thing is soooo easy (where's the > BUT???) You make a delicious cauldron of soup on Monday.. mmmmmmm..... warming and delicious Tuesday - SOUP Wednesday - SOUP Thursday - SOUP in three months time: throw about the other seven gallons of soup you froze in measured portions and carefully labelled.

5) Making your own soup

If you want paint that often requires three coats instead of two, is less durable, comes in a limited range of colours and costs three times the price, Farrow & Ball is the brand for you. If not, there's Dulux.

It's like a Bugaboo, only it makes toast.

Are there any other married couples out there who wish to parade the specialness of their special day in front of me? Step forward. My arms are folded and my face is set to 'scowl'.

Given half the chance, Dave

I'm against current laws, which favours (financially) those who choose to get married but only offers the alternative of a civil partnership to gay men and women. It's inequality, and it sucks. Good luck to everyone and their wedding lists. As for couples who 'tell' each other what they want for Christmas..? Jesus wept. I want a present from you to me. Not something from me to me - via you. I might as well just buy it myself and cut out the middle woman.

Anna, you seem to be confusing 'having a pop' at tedious wedding lists as some sort of attack on the sanctity of marriage itself - and (for some reason) on your special day in particular. There's no need to. Everybody loves a good wedding. Even me.

You'll have to ask Brendan about the 'offensive' part. I've no idea what he means there. Boring? YES.

"If you're having friends around for dinner.." Instead of serving up a grotesque and inedible bowl of glue - time after time - why not take thirty seconds to learn how to cook rice properly?

I've changed my mind. New drafts for the front of our wedding invitations will now be feature a picture of a 16th century church in Rutland, with a sort code and account number underneath.

I didn't realise I was 'on a hook', Mick. I thought I was going to a party. ..and.. "Vouchers". Jeez.

Should "Mrs" *Bob* and I be unfortunate enough to be required (due to a current imbalance in UK tax law which favours wedded couples etc etc) then I quite like the idea of 'bring a bottle'. It's honest, practical and has a certain charm that you just won't get from receiving a Magimix from Argos Home Delivery that isn't even wrapped.

There's nothing romantic about emailing a list of 200 items which can be bought from John Lewis, listed in order of price and sent with a photocopied covering letter. You might as well just dispense with the charade of 'buying a gift' and just charge on the door instead.

The 'wedding list' is a throwback to an age gone-by when couples were usually setting-up home together for the first time and actually 'needed' useful and practical stuff because they didn't have it and could afford to buy it all, especially after laying-on the wedding. It was a good thing to do. Now it's just an excuse for people to wander through a department store with a clipboard and pen, like Michael Jackson in Harrods, ticking things off, like spoilt children who've been given a blank cheque. Practical items do not include a bumper-edition Sopranos box set, a Satnav or a LCD television for the bedroom. It's totally impersonal and actually a wee bit depressing. Whether or not you've spent a fortune on the wedding is neither here nor there. It's your wedding. You chose it. You could have had it down the Reg office and then back to the pub if you wanted, but if you simply must have every chair in some tiresome conference centre adorned with a peach bow, then that's your lookout.

sophiesofa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I wouldn't open your mouth when standing next to a > urinal daizie What do you mean.. 'when'?

I'd say about 90% of it is probably your own. Let me explain. If you don't get your bell-end close enough to the urinal wall, it's possible you could cascade a waterfall of piss straight down to the bottom, causing a major piss droplet splash and a most unseemly din. However, in leaning the old chap in to avoid said guttering of piss, you fall foul of the fine misting.

It's the fine misting of piss more than anything else, Sophie - not large droplets. Very hard to spot with the naked eye. And you're unwise to attempt to spot it in a public lavatory anyway. It just looks weird.

That's a very good question. Urinal technology being what it is, I think you'd have to jet piss at an optimium angle and velocity to achieve anything above the usual (and unavoidable) level of piss splash - in which case it's not something that you'd do 'by accident'. So if somebody is splashing piss around on purpose or, say, wiping their bum on the mirror, you might have to say something. Or at least move a little further away and try not to catch their eye.

gwenellia yronko blooney carribanga gleesh brok

And vice versa, I expect?

Is 'Leslie' still in fashion?

Your name will be MUD. The best man will have a section in his speech where the lights go down and a spotlight hovers over you whilst those guests decent enough to spend the standard amount? give you a slow hand clap and chant "shame on you" repeatedly.

Leona

Make sure you get a receipt for your gift. Tell them that if they split up, you want it back.