*Bob*

Little girl: Daddy I've forgotten what your face looks like because every day you leave for work before I'm awake and get home after I've gone to bed. And now Mummy's forgotten as well and she's spending an awful lot of time with her new special friend. Daddy, why is our house up for sale?

In comparison to the week or two of sickies your average UK worker takes every year in order to lie on the sofa playing Wii, text their friends and stuff their faces with crisps - a couple of days every decade or two to throw snowballs and lark about is small potatoes.

It's hard to say what you'd do if you were the director of photography on Hollywood shoot and the star started throwing a wobbler in your direction - when you're not. Soaking up the shite is part and parcel of making it in the movies, man. Shane wotsit barely seems to raise an eyebrow during the whole sorry episode.

So you heard the forecast and thought.. 'a few inches of snow, ah shucks.. that's nothing'? London grinds to a halt if a wet leaf falls onto a train track running out of Clapham Junction. A few inches of snow on Sunday = stay in bed on Monday. No questions.

Thank God for Ocado! There was even talk of trying to find the tin opener at one point today - but fortunately 'our man' got through and the great news is that the airfreighted Peruvian asparagus has not been substituted. Hope everyone else is ok!

'Topping-up the Cinzano and Sodas', you say? Alice always said you weren't the sharpest tool in the box.

But of course. We double dated back in '68. I like to think I got 'the good one'.

Post of the day - right here

Mine's been on since 2003

I for one an absolutely DISGUSTED that these so-called 'freak' weather conditions have prevented me from carrying out several non-essential tasks that I can easily do tomorrow. Or the day after. I have been reduced to having snowball fights with the neighbours and watching children playing happily in the street. Shame on you, Britain.

SHIT MY PIPES HAVE JUST BURST

Twasn't sarcastic.. I'm hurt. If you didn't leave it on all the time then and your pipes didn't burst over those few days then they won't burst now.

MrBen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Did anyone recall hearing any warnings of heavy > snow paralysing London....even yesterday morning ? > Rubbish! They clearly dont have a clue! But that > is the beauty of the natural world we live in. Yes.. snow lying on the ground .. possibly 2/3 inches by Sunday/Monday.. in London - was forecast on Friday.

It's only minus one. What did you do a couple of weeks back when it was six below?

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm struggling on this thread. I'm struggling too. I can't drive.

That's true.. these shops do come in handy for three or four days of the year. If you've left it too late to order something from Amazon.

Yeah.. see you by the climbing frame in The Herne then, Keef? By that time you'll appreciate that ?3.50 - for a pint in a pub blessed with a gravel pit - is most reasonable.

From cutting your arms with a razor and setting fire to your pubes on stage.. to swiftcover.com? Not sure. That's swiftcover.com - for all your insurance needs.

It's not a question of 'liking'. It's just one of those places you have to go to sometimes.. like the toilet. I blame those packets of a hundred tea lights they sell for a pound. Anyway.. BACK TO THE THREAD

Remember you've only recently got married, Keef. That's step one. The fags will be next go, followed friends deemed 'a bad influence', and leading inevitably to demands for a baby. In any case, you'll be so busy with an endless DIY snagging list you'll barely have time to smoke. Soon it'll be country walks, Ikea every other weekend.. and then suddenly.. BOOM.. you're dead.

"The 'Get a Life' theme emphasises how Iggy Pop can embrace his online life to save time so he and other consumers can 'Get a Life'." "In this particular commercial Iggy Pop remarks on how he hasn't seen his own birth certificate in years. Another execution highlights the time one can save by using swiftcover.com, especially the company's ability to generate a quote in 60 seconds." (*weeps silently*)

Tipping for a supermarket delivery? Madness.

A 'Springer's Final Thought' moment.. On the incident itself: Orla, it does sound unnerving - I don't think anyone would question this. Most people do know not to shadow women and they walk in the street, but not everyone in a city of several million does. And just because they don't follow the rules doesn't mean they mean you harm. It certainly sounds like you dealt with the situation just fine and I personally think all women should be able to do so, because this stuff does and will happen. Women, let's try and also remember that the most dangerous thing to be in London is male and young. The statistics are on your side. Regarding 'increasing awareness': three thousand views of a thread is surely better than two hundred, which would have been the case the only comments had been 'poor you, that sounds unpleasant'. On the race issue: I don't have an issue with single word race identifiers per se, but the fact is that if you had the time to collate all the 'this person did something bad' incidents described on here, I'm absolutely sure the 'black' would outweigh the 'nothing at all' by a considerable margin: even more of an anomaly when you consider that 'black' people aren't even in the majority. Which either means that black people are considerably more likely to be a menace to you, or that 'black' is much more likely to be used as a single descriptive word in these situations. I know which one I think is true. And as for 'chivalry'. This word should be confined to where it belongs: picture books and romantic adventures in film. It has nothing to do with helping someone in genuine distress, be the damzels of otherwise.

And less of the 't**t', please.. I get enough of that at home.

Laying coats over puddles = chivalry Helping out someone who needs help = the right thing. Happy to do the latter. But 'chivalry' is cobblers.