*Bob*

halicon Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > BOB clearly you are single, or should be, chivalry is dead!! I'm afraid not, halicon. Quite frankly I've been beating girls off with a stick (not literally) until Mrs Right (not her real name) pinned me down. I assume they like me for my ability to treat them as equals, rather than any skills I might have in the laying-coats-over-puddles department.

There's nothing wrong with a spot of cross dressing from time to time. Disappearing into a girl's bedroom at a party and emerging wearing poorly-matched selection of their clothes is surely a Great British Tradition? It helps if you know the girl reasonably well, obviously. Though I think you're only allowed to do it so many times within a certain period of time. Otherwise it becomes 'a thing'.

I would describe myself as "white, no suitcase".. What kind of dress do you think I should go for?

Ok, it doesn't have to be a dress. It could be a recipe. Or perfume. C'mon, girls! Don't let the guys have all the fun!

Which one, and why, what made it your favourite?

Matthew123: I can't recall the last time someone in London got their throat slit whilst they slept, but you're right.. no doubt with this man (let's call him 'The Suitcase Killer') on the loose it's only a matter of time. Looking forward to that police profile (Black. Suitcase. Hasn't acted aggressively or broken any laws.) To everyone else spitting the dummy on behalf of someone else who posted: "Hee Hee.. She hates the boots and obviously realised he must be a nut job just from that comment!!!".. well, you know. Reconsider. She seems to have taken those terribly out-of-order posts lightly. So spit your own dummy by all means, but not hers. 99.9999% of the people who mean you harm are not eccentric ones carrying suitcases. Nor do they leave a mongrammed playing card on the bodies of their victims. That's Taggart you're watching there, not real life. Ladies - yes, be careful. Be careful of that bloke in the pub on the table opposite; someone living quietly down the road you've never met; your new boyfriend maybe. Your husband. The usual, real stuff. Fair enough to the OP to mentioning it. Now we know who he is, it won't be a such a surprise if it happens to you. But let's not unleash DefCon one just yet on this one. And it is entirely possible to be 'made aware' of something without being made to adopt a stoney expression of utter doom.

Ted Max Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Never mind the sweater, what about the pink posing > pouch for his swollen testes? Those aren't his testes, Ted. He's getting a blowie - from a baboon. Which explains the facial expression.

Yes, he is nice, isn't he? Though I'm not sure if it's politic to put a sweater on a monkey these days.. even if you're advertising tea.

I'm more like this

I can tolerate 'arse' perfectly well. Water of an arse's back. What irks me is that what we have here is a one-off incident of nothing more than some Big City weirdo-strangeness that, naturally, gave someone a fleeting feeling of mild peril which I can understand. Fine. Get TF out of there. Walk away. But the man's got a suitcase, not a knife. And it's rush hour outside a busy pub. That should tell you something about him. I mean, there's a bloke who's been knocking around Streatham barking at women and shouting random unintelligible things - for five years (that I know of). I'm not keen myself. But the police aren't going to lock him up either, because they know the difference between a bit of a weirdo and someone who's dangerous. So let's concentrate on actual crimes first, rather than the ones which haven't happened yet and are yet to even hint that they might. I bet if he didn't have a suitcase there wouldn't even be a thread on here about it.

You might wish to add the word 'arse' again now. But in all seriousness, I don't think this should be taken in all seriousness. I have read the OP. The guy is guilty of weirding someone out, but there is no crime, nor any hint of a possible crime.

Preventing a possible crime? Well I suppose so, if you put it like that. Let's get him locked away for good. Before he possibly kills us all.

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Your specious point about the man's race and the > police seems a cheap and easy shot *Bob*. I disagree on both counts: It's my opinion that the police ought to have better things to do than go out and apprehend people who are guilty of no more than 'slightly odd behaviour' at 6pm outside the EDT. Like crimefighting and so forth. But fortunately he's seven more times likely to get stopped anyway, so maybe it'll work itself out.

Can the police arrest someone on the grounds of carrying a suitcase and telling women he likes their boots? I mean - I know the guy's black but surely not even The Met can make that one stick?

I do like hearing Tone speak, even if he's wrong - which he is half the time. He's also gone slightly batty (in the old-fashioned sense) of late, which doesn't help. Strangely, the Benn 'interview' that I remember the most is the one he did with Ali G. Testament to the man's ability to take-on whatever anyone else says (no matter how ridiculous) at face value - and argue the point with passion and dignity. Respec'.

Perhaps the suitcase was very heavy? If only he was a real purdy laydee - someone would have stopped and given him a hand.

Would home addresses and mobile numbers be too much to ask as well? It would really help-out potential stalkers.

It's a sign of the times. In the 70s it was perfectly acceptable to 'suddenly give flowers to a woman you've never met'. These days you just get a karate chop to the throat - possibly followed by a night in the cells.

Crikey.. here goes.. Every Wednesday afternoon, Mrs *Bob* drops young *Bob* at nursery and then takes the credit card for a spin at Bluewater. As soon as she's gone, I head down to the shed with my iPod. I close the door, strip down to my underpants and - whilst listening to The Carpenters - gently beat myself on the bottom with the smooth side of a table tennis bat. There! I said it.

Here's mine: "Antntique puts rocket up Dud-lich Village"

jumpinjourno gets the scoop.. leaving poor old Sam at the SLP trailing in his wake. Can anyone help out? We just need one more headline incorporating some kind of bomb pun.

I know, Ted. It's sickening. Yours, Sickened of East Dulwich.

And Lo, as surely as night followed day, the writers of goodly newspapers and cheap television programming did spew forth a load of made-up pop-psychology rationale in an attempt to get some kind of angle on the crunch of the credits.

Still banging on about that chicken, James?

Princes tinned ham? A tin of salmon with a bit of vinegar in it? Peaches in syrup? God help you all.