*Bob*

There's something about Mark Lamarr that just makes me feel I wouldn't want to be trapped in a lift with him. Anyway I think it's unfair of the BBC to employ two people - both called Mark - with the same haircut. As they say: "An evening stuck in a lift with Mark Kermode to our winners; and evening stuck in a lift with Mark Lamarr to our losers".

I tend to avoid NMTB - also TTIAA. I'm as disinterested in (probably) having to watch Sean Lock as I am in finding out whether Sally Gunnell has a sense of humour or not.

Perhaps the cyclist had been having an affair with the bus driver's wife - and things came to a head on that fateful morning? Who knows.

You're on to something there, Jah. 'Bollockz'. I like it.

'Eclipse' is a terrible name. It sounds like the sort of place Estate Agents drink in en masse after work (or used to). Or the fictional club in 'Eastenders' with a red braided rope on the door and porthole shaped windows in the doors. I vote for something with a creative use of a 'z'. 'Starz', perhaps? Or maybe 'City Slickerz'? Or 'Shinglesz'?

Unfortunately, I had to crop the full image. I had my three cherubs (Mockney, Keef, Andrew "D" Black) ready to go - and Jah pencilled-in for the crucifix but alas, they were too small to be seen to any proper effect.

mockney piers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Mind you, unravel this sentence > much hands on far time your too Er.. pot, kettle, black

Joy to the world.

Did Mockney bring his twin brother with him this time?

Is this a 'Cat Porn' thread? Phwoar! Check out this white hot action..

Sorry, 'Looch.. I have forbidden Mrs *Bob* from taking the VISA north of the river. And the generous parking facilities at Bluewater gives the Range Rover a fighting chance too.

That would be fun, ????. What I'd really like to do is have Bluewater opened-up especially for me between the hours of 3 and 4am so I can ride up escalators and do doughnuts outside River Island. After all, I'm a careful rider, there won't be anyone around, it won't be hurting anyone, I pay my taxes, I watch 'Top Gear'..

Kind-of easy to prosecute someone for not telly licence though, isn't it. Address with no licence in force. Send round the mythical white van with the spinning roofrack. Case closed. Not so easy with tax evasion. Or should that be 'efficient accounting'?

I don't agree with roundabouts. I reserve the right to ride straight over the top of them, through the flower beds and over the other side with impunity.

Yes, it was a bit like that Jeremy. I was especially dismayed when someone from the council came round a strapped a cage of rats to my head. And who pays?! Muggins 'ere, that's ooo.

I've been fined too - a few years ago. Not at this one one - at the one as you go up Bishopsgate and it turns into Shoreditch High Street. Same thing 'no entry': 'buses only'. I complained in writing and was sent a really nice picture of me on my bike, frozen at the point I passed the 'no entry' sign. My back wheel was right on top of the 'buses only' stamped on the road in three foot letters.

Wagtap said: "It's no wonder we on two wheels don't have all the time in the world to take in the excessive amount of pavement-cluttering signage." And here it is:

wagtap Wrote: > If people more attention to what's happening on > the road rather than soaking up the endless > signage, your graph lines would plummet. Do you remember the Highway Code? It's that book with all the signs in it. I'm a motorcycist too, so I'm well versed on all the usual routines about 'being required to go that little bit faster', 'be the last one to go over a red light', 'have various rules not apply me for some reason' etc etc. Been there said that.

The 'it aint fair!' line which gets trotted out in these circumstances a bit odd. It's not like you don't have a choice as to whether you get fined or not. It's not fair that poorer peeps with electricity meters have to pay more for their energy, because they don't have a choice. It's not fair that you get more tax relief if you're married than you do if you're unmarried. It's not fair that Lenny Henry still gets work from the BBC. Indeed, being (as it is) an inanimate object, unable to distinguish class, race, wealth or religion, I'd say that the 'no entry' sign in Peckham might possibly be the fairest thing in London right now. Before The Sign, we are all equal. Amen.

There's no problem with discussing the merits of whether or not there ought to be a 'no entry' sign in a particular spot. Nowt wrong with that. The ridiculous onewayisation of Peckham is one one the (many) reasons why the 'town centre' has a particularly rubbish feel to it - in my opinion anyway. But there is one. And it's primary purpose is not to snoop on citizens going about their business, or keep the council in post-it notes, or because we live in a police state, or because we live in an intolerant society, or to fight terrorism or to stop carnage and mayhem on that would otherwise result if cars were allowed to pass; it's just there because it's 'buses only' and you have to drive around it. The fine is there because no-one would give a hoot if there wasn't a consequence to driving through it.

I'm just extrapolating the thread further into the ridiculous... a process you started. A thread starts-out with a no entry sign infringement leading to an annoying fine - and ends with a no entry sign which is an affront to the democratic process, our glorious dead and (probably, soon..) GOD. Let's not forget it's just a no entry sign. The question is: will you drive through it again?

So you're saying he fought in a war so that you'd be able to go through the entry sign in Peckham whenever you pleased? Blimey. My Grandad was far more selfish. I think he just got called-up, so he had to go. Are there any other problems in West Africa which the inhabitants might trade-in for the occasional 'no entry' fine, do you think?

I got fined for a late VAT return once. I explained to them that my grandparents had fought in a war, but unfortunately they insisted on me paying the fine.

I had my palm read by Mrs *Bob*'s Christian, palm-reading cousin not long back. Many in her family have.. er.. the gift. I quite enjoyed it. She was pretty good. I was drunk at the time, obviously. We all were, in fact. If only there were more Christian palm-readers of her ilk out there, and less of the ones you wish would fall down an uncovered manhole, the world would be a better place.

peace off, Keef