HonaloochieB

Sun Arise - Rolf Harris

I doubt it MTallen, in my experience, your cow is only good for a backing vocal - with a lead they flounder. Unless it's certain jazz songs. Or selected Extreme Noise Terror numbers.

Surely Jack. He could probably have hacked out a bit of 'Miles' on the violin and there was a better chance of getting a laugh out of him. 'Kinder Jew'?

Exactly how long are you going to Bogart that thing?

Though in fact the original wiseass may have taken the theme from elsewhere and was just riffing.

Though that could be a variation on the original wisenheimer's theme.

A wiseacre once said "There are many problems in the world jazz is not the answer to any of them".

Jimmy (Jimmeh) Clithoroe - 'Eeh 'eck I've only been an' gone an' took me Grandad's bloomin' foie gras and spread it on me mate Ozzie's bit o' snap all accidental like, an' that flippin' Ozzie's been an' blinkin' well gone an' scarfed it all down 'is flamin' gullet, like some sort o' gannet. I'm done for. When me Grandad finds his foie gras missin', 'oo d'ya think 'e'll come looking for? ME, that's 'oo. An' that's when 'e'll lay 'is 'and on my situpon, an' 'e'll not stop 'til 'is 'and gets tired. Crikey! Susan Clitheroe - 'Stop your mithering, and while you're about it stop dropping your consonants, I could almost write an episode of The Navy Lark with what I've swept from the floor'. Alfie Hall - ''allo Susan, 'ow are ye? Yer don't 'alf speak nice. S'why ah don't 'alf luv yer. Well just one o' reasons. 'Ow cum though yer speak all different t't' rest on us? Susan - 'Well for a start I'm Judith Chalmers. Alfie - 'Eeh well ooooh, nooo, crikeh, I'm all of a doodah now, me. Strewth, what's to do? I mean, eeh. Susan - 'Well that's the last time you start and finish a sentence with the exclamation 'Eeh' in my company. I'm off down south to edit a tabloid newspaper. I'll leave you to be tricked on a weekly basis by my 'little' brother'. Alfie - 'But Susan....' Jimmy - ' Alfie, could you just 'old this bit o' greaseproof paper for us for a minute, it's got summat wrote on it in foreign. "For Grass" it looks like - like as not summat Grandad's picked up for t' garden. Oooh, I think ah can 'ear him cumin' in now. I'm off to meet Ozzie, 'bye Alfie. Alfie - 'Oh right then, 'tara. *in the distance a door opens and then slams shut, a loud Scottish voice is heard uttering the words 'Ah cannae wait for ma braw supper ae foie gras, it's all that's been sustaining me all the dee. If anythin' wus to come between me an' it, frankly I dinnae knae whit ah'd dae, Ah meet weel lose control an' visit violence upon the nearest person ah heild responsible for the loss, even if that person didnae eventually turn out t' be the one tha' deprived of my expensive treat. But tha odds o' tha' happenin', surely must surely be so remote as t' be negligible. So neither ae nor anyone else has anything to worry aboot' Alfie - 'Oh, crikeh' Mother (Mrs Clitheroe) - 'Now, is the above a transcipt from an actual episode of the popular radio series The Clitheroe Kid or is that flaming HonaloochieB just manking about again and making a bloody nuisance of himself'?

When The Red Red Robin Comes Bob-Bob-Bobbing Along - Aunty Ruby's Sweet Jazz Babies

Ned Seagoon - 'I'll have the foie gras'. Major Denis Bloodnok - 'What foie'? Ned - 'Because it's on the menu'. Bloodnok - 'I knew we shouldn't have come here, it attracts the messiest diners in town'. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne - 'A quote from an actual Goon Show or an invention by that dastard HonaloochieB? I leave it to you good EDHeifers to decide'. Bluebottle - 'Does anyone have a use for an underused Boy Scout'? Grytpype-Thynne - 'Back in the kitbag, my lad'.

The Red Flag - Robert Wyatt

Right, I reckon that saves at least anywhere between 34-36 unnecessary posts. Always glad to take one for the team.

But in a mannered/smart alecky rather than actually effortless way.

You don't like to look like you're making much of an effort on this thread.

You live in Rodwell Road.

I wonder if it's Mary. Since she got sacked from the dairy she doesn't have the access to calcium-rich products the way she used to. Her nails are only remaining 'talony' by thrice daily application of varnish and she's starting to lean to one side, so she reckons her bones are on the slide, too. And that Max Miller's been no use to her at all. He turned out to be a bit of a bad lot, all round. And if it was a milk round she might've been alright. Still she fell for his blandishments, but really if she'd just paid attention at his shows she could have seen the signs. There are some clues in the song. #I fell in love with Mary from the dairy But Mary wouldn't fall in love with me. Down by an old mill stream We both sat down to dream Little did she know that I was thinking up a scheme, She said, 'Let's pick some buttercups and daisies', But those buttercups were full of margarine She slipped and we both Down by a wishing well In the same place where I fell for Nellie Dean. I fell in love with Mary from the Dairy, But Mary wouldn't fall in love with me; Down by an old mill stream We both sat down to dream: That was when I offered her my strawberries and cream We walked and talked together in the moonlight, She asked me what I knew of farmery, I said, 'Mary, I'm no fool, You can't milk Barney's Bull.' That's when Mary from the dairy fell for me. Little did she know that I was thinking up a scheme, The wife she says that she is going to leave me, The moment that she does then I am free, There's a little girl I know I'll take her and I'll show, Where Mary from the Dairy fell for me.#

Sad Old Red - Simply Red

Levee

Tarot Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How comes its against the law not to belt up in a > car,yet hundreds of people every day are > travelling standing up in > cramped trains and buses ?. > Double standards where money,s involved. I'd get this one off to Viz pronto if I was you T. Just have the final line read 'It's one law for the likes of them Stagecoach gadgies and another for the rest of us'. I reckon you'll get a pencil for that.

The snare drum smack at the beginning of Like A Rolling Stone. Diggity.

#You've got a lovely daughter#

It's Only Rock 'n' Roll (But I Like It) - The Rolling Stones

I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass - Nick Lowe

All The Young Dudes - Mott The Hoople - perfect build up to a class vocal - the coda's not too shabby neither. Sweet Jane - The Velvet Underground - the guitar fiddling then the loping crunch of the opening chords - Mott The Hoople's version's not too shabby neither. Layla - Derek & The Domonos - 39 notes takes you into a heart rending vocal, someone mentioned Bell Bottomed Blues earlier, that was the B-side of the single and was utterly perfect. Once Bitten Twice Shy - Ian Hunter - the single opened with a wide-mouthed 'Allo' followed by a lazy Chuck Berryish guitar intro - then there's the introduction to the song by Hunter, the guitar riff soothing you along - then - drum roll - THEN - Mick Ronson smashes in with that thing he used to do with his guitar and it takes off and up and it don't stop until it ain't got nowhere else to go. Casual genius.

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Ketchup on its own on a bacon sandwich is just all > out plain ridiculous - a bacon sandwich requires > HP sauce, nothing more. > > Ketchup and lots of pepper does it for me. Pepper? Pepper? I, aa wuuuu. Whirls flay bee. No, worms play tea. No, I have no speech.