Somerfield with The Dead Kennedies playing the fruit and veg section, alternating songs with Slipknot back in the dairy.** Liquorish hosting The Insane Clown Posse. Medicine Head at the Dulwich Medical Centre. Girls Aloud at JAGS. Rage Against The Machine in front of the hand dryer in the gents of The Palmerston. The Soup Dragons at Soup Dragon. John Cooper-Clarke, for a modest fee whispering poems in your ear in The Crystal Palace Tavern. And for no extra charge telling you a good joke. Atomic Kitten at Iceland, but if the various members are too busy advertising Iceland, appearing on cookery programmes and who knows what else, then get Coldplay in. Unless they're too yellow. Barry Blue serenading Barry from the Barry Off-Licence on Barry Road. And if a few Barrys were around to sing Hosannas then so much the better. Let's see what we can do. Fugazi down The Clockhouse. Chi-Chi And Ra-Ra having a Scissor Sisters evening. They might have to perch, but hey, they're troopers. Tom Waits in the doorway of Dulwich library. The Blue Oyster Cult at St John's Church. After they'd finished at JAGS and Chi-Chi Rah-Rah, Girls Aloud and The Scissor Sisters performing on the bar of The Capitol at Forest Hill. With an after show at The Hobgoblin. The Doctors Of Madness reforming for a benefit at the MIND shop. ** With Twisted Sister on the roof.