HonaloochieB

"Que?" - Manuel, Fawlty Towers.

"Evening, Fawlty..." - Major Gowan, Fawlty Towers

The Sweetest Girl - Scritti Politti

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "I wouldn't know about that, sir" - Ted, Fast Show

"...the drainage in the lower field, sir" - Ted, Fast Show

under sideways down.

lozzyloz Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Suits yooo sir! It was actually SUIT you sir, Loz. I'd apologise for being pedantic but there wouldn't be an ounce of sincerity in it.

Sweet Talking Guy - The Chiffons

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Certainly not, Mockney. > I'm not a fan myself, but I look forward to seeing > Honaloochie's 'vinegar face' when the moment > presents itself. Ah, *Bob* about that invite round for a spread of ham and salmon, would you adam and eve it, I've just checked the old diary and I'm busy that day. In fact I see that I won't be available for the rest of the year, at the very least. My 'vinegar face' will have to remain a mystery to you for the foreseeable future I'm afraid. Sorry and all that sort of rot.

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Darling HonaloochieB > > Don't you know that the modern cognoscenti eat > Spam. Conventional tinopener is all that is > required. > > Excellent with gherkins for the refined palate. I'm afraid for me PGC that Spam has always been a taste I've not managed to acquire, though Christ knows my schools didn't stint in their efforts to indoctrinate me into it. Though I may be persuaded to go down the gherkin route as you suggest. As the saying goes, try everything once except incest and Morris dancing. Thanks.

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > That sounds like my kind-of food, Honaloo. > > Come over sometime - I'll put on a super spread. > Princes tinned ham (I'll scrape the jelly off) and > a can of mashed salmon - with a bit of vinegar in > it. Now you're talking *Bob*. I genuinely enjoy a nice salmon vinegar cucumber with a smear of salad cream sandwich. As for the Princess ham, I'm a 'jelly on' man myself, but in the tradition of Jack Spratt and his missus it would obviously work out well for both of us.

KalamityKel Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So ur initial complaint about the rubbishness of > the ring pull was all for wot? :p My original complaint was about the key and welded on ribbon apparatus that the packers of the good beef see fit to continue using. I'm all for tradition but a modern up to date ring pull would be a boon to the busy survivalist. Otherwise my whole post would have been some sort of exercise in pointlessness, wouldn't it?

Sweet Jane - The Velvet Underground

My Frend Stan - Slade

KalamityKel Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > U can buy sliced corned beef ya know... Sliced corn beef is for quitters KK. If everyone went down that route where would be the incentive for the likes of those gauchos at Fray Bentos to put the gear in a proper modern tin with a ring pull. The packet stuff doesn't have the taste or the keeping power of the tinned variety which can be stored up for the time when I may have to batten down the hatches in the event of civil unrest or extreme terrorist action. Besides the pre-sliced stuff removes my inalienable human right to choose my own meat width for a sandwich. And that's a right I will only give up when you prise my corned beef and Branston sandwich from my cold, dead fingers.

Happiness - Ken Dodd

HOW! - Fred Dineage, Bunty James, Jack Hargreaves and the bofiin bloke who looked like George Orwell, HOW!

Here we are in 2008 and corned beef still comes in a tapering tin which you have to open with a key that breaks the thin ribbon of metal halfway through the operation necessitating rummaging through your toolbox for a pair of pliers in order to complete the job and even then it only peels away a few millimetres at a time and then when it does finally complete the circuit of the tin you have to go and get a plaster for the cut you've managed to inflict on yourself then after prising the bottom half of the receptacle off you try to shake the meat onto a plate but oh no of course it doesn't budge and you have to pry the stuff out with a fork which invariably causes half of the contents to end up in a crumbly pile and then you manage to slice what remains but no matter what the shine has been taken off the enjoyment of your corned beef and Branston pickle sandwich. Puts the whole oral sex matter into perspective I think.

...weight.

fish Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > mightyroar Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > 'we haven't had our dinner' > > I stand corrected and, as Hylda Baker would have > said - "He knows you know". Or, have I got this > one wrong too? Actually this wasn't actually a catchphrase as it was only said once (as far as I know) so therefore can't be included in the final tally. Good recovery with a nice bit of Hylda Baker though.

I'm Gonna Get Me A Gun - Cat Stevens

"Nice one Cyril" - Baker, Mother's Pride.

You Can Make Me Dance, Sing Or Anything (Even Take The Dog For A Walk, Mend A Fuse, Fold Away The Ironing Board, Or Any Other Domestic Short Comings) - The Faces

Zappa

buggie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Ant Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > I saw, erm, a bloke. Off the telly. Oldish. > > Comedian I think. White hair, black eyebrows. > > > > Oh dear. I'm not very good at this. > > ...that was probably Stephen Frost - he use to do > the "bet he drinks Carling Black Label" ads and > regularly appears with the Comedy Store Players. Alistair Darling, surely.