Nobody knows Smudger's real name though he's sometimes referred to as Smithie. Sometimes when there's a "lock-in" you realise you've run out of fags and the cigarette machine always seems to be broken or run out of your brand and you don't want to pay ?6.40 for a pack of 16 that you feel are inferior. And, what is it with John that whenever he gets on the shorts, he always spoils for a fight.