Jah Lush

Put that tongue back in your mouth young lady.

Kel, You can't make a purse out of a sow's ear.

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly. "All right, buddy. What's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked. "The balcony."

Had Me A Real Good Time - The Faces

Actually Keef, I don't have a wallet and have never carried one. Wallets are for tight-fisted buggers. Perhaps that's why I am perenially skint.

Indeed! My pockets have never been so light. I'm flat broke. The one thing that helped alleviate the constant pain was drink and drugs and they cost money I can tell you that. Still, I wouldn't want to advocate drink, drugs and insanity but they've always worked for me.

I had chest and back pain, which for the most part was agony. I had x-ray, scans and blood tests wherein I found out I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and liver damage (so I won't be having one of those again) but they never discovered what it was, probably muscular though and nothing serious and in the end my doctor said it was just one of those things. Huh? Bored? Lonely? Tillie? Are you kidding?

It's out of season. I once did oysters in their sister restaurant in June or July and was sick as a dog and on the crapper for 24 hours so I know exactly how you're feeling and you have my sympathy.

Bugger it Ant you beat me to the thread title.

I've been off work and off sick for the last six weeks and today I had my first day back in the office and bloody hell I wish I was back at home or down the pub. Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Discuss.

Never do oysters when there isn't an 'R' in the month.

You're just a big old softie Lord MacGabhann

The Royal Family are a bunch inbreds James and are a rather toothy and horse-faced lot aren't they. Perhaps they are all related to a horse.

tosh

Real Cool Time - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

dinner

is fear itself.

The Last Time - The Rolling Stones

Say A Little Prayer - Aretha Franklin

To just slightly paraphrase Marcus Garvey here: "The colour of a person's skin should be of no more significance than the colour of their eyes." And that is exactly how I feel on this matter. If you find someone attractive that's it. I love girls and it don't matter what colour or creed they are or what religion or where they are from. If you find someone attractive that's it.

That's terrific. A fair fight with the gloves on and their mates around to see nothing gets out of order and they shook hands afterwards. Brilliant!

This should blow any cobwebs away for those of you still suffering after a weekend of excess. Motorhead - Ace Of Spades "That's the way I like it baby I don't want to live forever."

What about The Sixth And Seventh Books by Toots & The Maytals? Top tune.

I like Iggy Pop's upgrade of the fabulous Johnny Kidd & The Pirates song Shakin' All Over but it's hard to top the original.

Ahem! Correction ratty, seeing as you're a Pompeyite and obviously loath the Saints I have to tell you that Bale is a former scummer.