Jah Lush

"Hello, and who's calling the Golden Shot." Bob Monkhouse.

Little Red Rooster - Howling Wolf

A man in a shellsuit goes into a posh furriers. He says to the shop assistant "I want a coat". The shop assistant, barely concealing her disdain, asks "What fur?" The man replies "Fur ma girlfriend".

the proverbial f**king moon!

Sweet Virginia - Rolling Stones

"Totally Mexico." - Nathan Barley

The sooner this bloody awful Harvester place is closed down and restored to be the Grove Tavern again the better. Just think what you could do with a pub that size. I'm thinking along the lines of the newly restored Plough and perhaps a bigger version of the Rye Hotel. You could have a decent restaurant out the back like they used to when Dicky and Lizzy Burton ate there back in the day and the front part could be a good old fashioned boozer. Also, plenty of room for the nippers out in the garden.

Birmingham 1 v Man City 2 Bolton 0 v Arsenal 2 Derby 0 v Fulham 1 Man Utd 3 v Aston Villa 1 Portsmouth 2 v Wigan 0 Reading 1 v Blackburn 2 Sunderland 1 v West Ham 2 Chelsea 2 v Middlesbrough 0 Liverpool 2 v Everton 1 Tottenham 3 v Newcastle 2

My brother had it down in Harley St last year and it was very successful. Cost him a couple of grand. Personally I've got so used to my specs and I like that fact that they the hide bloody awful bags and dark shadows under my eyes but fair play to you if that's what you want done.

Aha! Foiled again Brendan. ;-) As Arnie says: "I'll be back."

This is my 3,000th post and I've decided that a spell in the Priory Clinic might cure me of my addiction(s). If I ever post again it will be because I've had a serious relapse. Byeeeeeeeeeeee!

It was me who started swopping the labels round because I thought it was all a bit silly and I like to be silly. I ended up as Kalamity Kel.

I grew a beard once when I was in my early 20s but got bored of it after six weeks so shaved half of it off and had my hair died blonde. Obviously I did look very silly with blonde hair and half a dark brunette beard but I'd do anything for a laugh in those days and naturally I was very very very drunk. It only lasted for the Easter Bank Holiday weekend whilst I was staying with a girlfriend when she was at Canterbury University. The other half of the beard went before I went back to work although trying to get my hair back to it's natural colour was a bit of a disaster as at first it went a sort of horrible reddish copper colour.

Ever Fallen In Love With Someone (You Shouldn't Have Fallen In Love With) - Buzzcocks

England Squad: James (Portsmouth), Carson (Aston Villa), Kirkland (Wigan); Bridge (Chelsea), A Cole (Chelsea), Johnson (Portsmouth), Terry (Chelsea), Brown (Man Utd), Lescott (Everton), Ferdinand (Man Utd), Wheater (Middlesbrough), Woodgate (Tottenham), Upson (West Ham); Barry (Aston Villa), Young (Aston Villa), Bentley (Blackburn), J Cole (Chelsea), Lampard (Chelsea), Wright-Phillips (Chelsea), Beckham (Los Angeles Galaxy), Gerrard (Liverpool), Hargreaves (Man Utd), Downing (Middlesbrough), Jenas (Tottenham); Walcott (Arsenal), Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Crouch (Liverpool), Rooney (Man Utd), Owen (Newcastle), Defoe (Portsmouth).

I had ?400 taken from my account a couple of years ago and I got the money back from Barclays within two or three weeks if I remember correctly. The card was cloned and the so and so spent the money in a computer shop in Sutton.

Evolution of British maths teaching 1. Teaching Maths In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or ?80. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Maths In 1990 A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100. His cost of production is ?80. Did he make a profit? 4. Teaching Maths In 2000 A logger sells a truckload of timber for ?100. His cost of production is ?80 and his profit is ?20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Maths In 2008 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of ?20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. ) 6. Teaching Maths 2018 ? ?????? ???? ????? ????? ?? ????? ?? ??? 100 ?????. ???? ????? ??????? ?? ?????. ?? ?? ????? ???

I'm with Annasfield on this. Handbags at dawn for you lot. And, when you've finished perhaps the thread should be closed down. It was after all for some tickets for a match a while back now.

Put up or shut up. If you can't pay the fines, don't park on the lines.

"Don't drink water, water's dirty, fish f*ck in it." W C Fields.

Exactly right! I listened to it on the radio and it sounded like fantastic game. End to end stuff. Cashley Hole should have been sent off and Lampard should have been booked as well. The referee Mike Riley bottled it (again). I only wish I'd been there or at least seen it in the pub. I was so glad when they took Joe Cole off as he sounded like he was having a blinder scoring two and making another. Ronaldo is continuing to do the business with Man Ushited and has passed the late great George Best's 40 year old goal scoring record for a season. Some of you may not like them much but they continue to play great football and you've got to hand it to the lad who already is looking like the Player of the Year again. Lots of important games coming up and the Premiership is looking like it is going right to the wire. The Easter Bank Holiday weekend's results will prove crucial for the top four.

I think we should send you to the naughty step for your misspelt youth. KK.

Agreed. Another man's sin is another man's pleasure.

Aussie! >:D

Hippie!