busymum

there is a lovely new shop near east dulwich station, I'm sure they'd have eco organic paints. can't remember what it's called, opp blackbird bakery/cafe

just whizzing through these posts. I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a nightmare, it's so stressful to deal with work issues whilst on maternity leave, especially looking after 2 kids at the same time. I don't know about everyone else but I find it incredibly difficult having conversations with friends to ask their advice without constant interruptions from the children. This forum is such a life line, especially with all the posts from the H.R mums who can help the rest of us understand the whole H.R thing. i had few issues with my employer before I went back to work, perhaps not as bad as your situation, but it was stressful at the time. But one thing i would say is that it's so much easier to deal with all this stuff once you're back at your desk. Those keeping in touch days are such a con! they didn't work for me. I spent ages organising childcare and on the actual days it was information overload! I then spent several days and nights afterwards worrying about all the stuff that was said, and little or no time to follow up on anything because you're back on duty again as fulltime mum. all that for a few quid. If I were you I'd postpone dealing with all your grievances until you're officially back on the payroll. I did, it was much easier. also my own H.R department are not to be trusted, we have a union though. My advice would be to proceed with caution, the advice you get from this forum is likely to be more helpful, especially the advice from the mums who work in H.R. And on appraisals, I'm sure appraisal procedures vary from place to place but when I went back following maternity leave I wasn't given one retrospectively (how could they, I wasn't there) instead my boss gave me a 'mini-appraisal' (her words) set my objectives going forward and I was automatically awarded an incremental rise on my salary because I couldn't be judged on the previous years performance. I really hope you can put this out of your mind until you go back and enjoy the rest of your maternity leave and the lovely sunny weather. I dreaded returning to work, I think lots of us do, but it's fine once your back. I really hope you will find some enjoyment going back. think positive, maybe your boss will get the sack! No .... think positive, you can wear high heals and read a book on the train and earn money! good luck etc etc

I have 2 children at Bright Horizons, they both love it, the staff are great and we are very happy they go there. My toddler took a while to settle in when she first started, it was a difficult age (2 years old) and I was expecting a baby etc etc. there was a lot of crying when we left her. She wasn't properly settled for about 3 months. I don't get a lot of time for posting or reading the ED forum (working Mum) but what days will your son be attending Bright Horizons?, mine are only there 2 days per week. Please feel free to send me a PM

Hi, I only want Fiona's number via PM - don't post it. I just want to know what to bring with me on Monday, rather than just turn up at 4pm on Monday unprepared. Also does anyone know if it is pay per session or pay up front for the term? someone told me pay per session but I may have got it wrong. Thanks if you do manage to PM her number so that I arrive prepared Ta

can't you tell her your circumstances have changed, you no longer need a nanny because of redundancy, reduction of hours etc etc sorry if this is unhelpful

thanks goose green or telegraph hill then probably safest best always starts raining just in time for a walk in the park cheers

hi does anyone know if ivydale children's centre is open to the public this morning? ta

have only just recently discovered the telegraph hill park, playgroup and play area. it is lovely, they sell toast! and parking very easy if you're driving over from east dulwich. would love to meet up with my 2 but I always seem to be working, we often go to the playgroup Monday morning from about 10 so hopefully bump into you some time. my youngest little girl is 14 months, i'm sure she would love to meet your 17 month old.

Hi, I have been meaning to take my 3 year old to the ballet classes on Gowlett rd as I live just a minute away. Please could you let me have Fiona's number via PM. Cheers

Hi I'm a bit confused about the crow flying and/or distance from the school gate. We like St Johns and St Clements school and we live on Keston Road directly behind it, as the crow flies it is about 15m (if that) from the back of the playground to our house, but from the school gate we have to go all the way round the top via Gillespie (?) Road or via Adys and then Amott Road, several more meters added. Being really thick but is it number of meters to your own front door? or just to the start of the Road? Does anyone know about catchment area for St John's? or is it different because it is Church of England school?

I've never been the best sleeper, especially with baby number 1, it must have been all the stress, although it didn't seem that stressful at the time, but it is such a big change, becoming a family. Anyway for what it's worth, the way I cope with periods of stress and insomnia is to remind myself it is just a phase and that it will pass (and it always does) and this calms me down, rather than get all worked up in the middle of the night which just wakes you up more. So just remember 'it's only a phase'. I also use ear plugs. They sell the good ones that actually work, at the chemist near the Palmerston on Lordship Lane. Also, have you ever tried relaxation tapes? This is going to make me sound like a bit of a nutter but I sometimes still listen to my hypno birthing relaxation tape. It totally knocks me out!

it took my (very confident outgoing) daughter of nearly 2 years a good 4/5 month to properly settle into nursery, we had lots of tears in the morning but only when we dropped her off, and then she settled. She was going 2 days a week. But she totally loves it now, a nursery day has become a treat day to play with all her friends. Her anxiety during her settling in 5 months! was no doubt hounded by the fact that I was heavily pregnant and then we had a baby - jelously thing. Child no. 2 now attends the same nursery and loved it from day 1 (she was 11 months)! so there is some truth in babies settling easier than toddlers but I agree that home environment is so important for babies. We chose 2 days nanny and 2 days nursery, but it is such a personal decision, this works for us and work commitments. I think it must help if big sister or brother are at the same nursery. Good luck with whatever you decide

I highly recommend Locale aswell, they always make families feel very welcome, we go there a lot. The food (especially the pasta) is fantastic, and it is not expensive.

i used to do ALOT of running with my phil and teds

Hi there, my 2 go to "the one in sainsburies car park" they just got an OUTSTANDING ofsted report, always good to know, i think it is brilliant there (if perhaps a little expensive!) get on the waiting list quick!

thanks for all this. how long does it usually take along the canal? I have to admit I would be really worried about cycling through elephant and castle

Hi, I'm thinking of cycling into work. Can anyone suggest a good cycle route, I'm going from East Dulwich to Tottenham Court Road.

this is really shocking, thanks for letting us know. also just read the thread from the Mum herself ('localmama' - Manager at Mind charity shop) the guy in the charity shop is rude to everyone! but I shouldn't think he'll be there for much longer with all these complaints. I have always breastfed in public and would have flipped if that happened to me!

I was told that if I worked KIT days during maternity leave, whilst on SMP my SMP day rate (whatever that is - ?20 per day?) would be deducted from my normal days pay. I guess they might try and deduct more if you are getting full pay during those first few months. It would be worth checking with payroll 1st!

there was a thread about this 4/5 weeks ago, might be useful

thanks for all the links (desktoplawyer, personneltoday etc etc) really really helpful. I haven't really got much further but the union know what's going on now

hello and thank you very much for all the advice. This is my 2nd baby, I had no problems agreeing my return to work previously, I was allowed to take accrued holiday at the end but have since had a change in line management and I have had a lot of problems over recent months. My 2nd baby was born in April 09 and I hadn't used any of my holiday from this financial year prior to going on ML. I received a very standard letter from H.R before I left with details of KIT days etc but no mention of accrued holiday or indeed any other benefits, rights or entitlements. I left assumed I would get the same support as before when I chose to return work. I am due back 16th March 2010 (1 year off) but was refused my full accrued leave entitlement because it would have gone into next financial year (Company policy, you're only allowed to carry over 5 days, I've looked into this and it might be a bit of a loop hole in maternity law) so I told them I would end my ML early enough to add the holiday on at the end but keep within this financial year, still arriving back on or around the 16th March. (similar scenario to Mrs TP) My employers case rests on 1. An argument that the department will be short staffed at the end of the financial year and 2. An overspend in the department staff budget because 2 of us are on maternity leave. They claim that all staff leave is discretionary and cannot be given if it means the department cannot deliver. They won't extend staff contracts (the person covering my maternity leave will still be working in the Department) or employ temps, because of the budget overspend, and they will not pay worked holiday either (This is the bit I think may be unlawful). Their case also seems flawed because I am allowed by law to have 12 months maternity leave regardless of accrued holiday so a return date of 16th March 2010 has always been the date we have been working to. I work for a public sector organisation and this has come from a very senior level, I can't help thinking they have done their home work. I am a member of the Union though and will be following this up and I have since heard that there are places you can contact to get free legal advice if you have problems going back to work? Perhaps they are just trying to call my bluff, perhaps they just want me to ask them for less holiday and make do with a compromise, but at the end of the day this is a months salary and can anyone with 2 kids afford to give up a months salary! it's just not right I just wondered if anyone else had had experienced anything similar, and won? All advice much appreciated

my employer is refusing to let me add my accrued annual leave to the end of my maternity leave, they are also refusing to pay me for it (worked holiday) is this legal? I'd love some advice

hi again, i joined two 2nd time Mum tea groups in June last year organised through the nct, the co-ordinator was great. us mums have kept the groups going as much as possible even now we've started returning to work. If you want to PM me I can send you the e-mail address of the nct tea group co-ordinator we had. I've met some really nice people through these tea groups. Best wishes

the nct organise tea groups for new mums in se22/se15 etc etc, it's a great way to meet people