woofmarkthedog

helena handbasket Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It's slightly North American, except: > > - we hold the knife in the right hand, fork in the > left to cut one mouthful > - we then place the knife across the top right > ridge of the plate > - switch the fork to the right hand, place one > mouthful in mouth, and place fork down while > chewing > - back to knife in right hand, fork in left > > This goes on and on for every single bite. > It is just as pointless as it sounds and I would > love to meet the person who made eating such a > chore. I think about doing it "your" way, but it > just happens without thinking about it. Try it > the other way around, it's hard! ____________________________________________________ Jeezus H ..... No wonder there is so much hand held grazing done "over there" Go on, admit it. America is the biggest social experiment ever that's gone horribly wrong English is spoken only by the English & every thing else is a protracted garbled syntax which approximates a language Right... The other horrible , horrible trend that occasionally presents it's self at my dinner table, is when my boys schoolpals come over for tea. Some children/ adults use this method & it's quite brutal in it's simplicity Take fork ( ignore knife , actually rest your bloody elbow on it ) Stab/jab food ( until a chunk sticks to the said "friggin fork " why don't you ) Sit sideways one arse cheek on, one off the chair ( or until you break my chairs ) Talk/eat/rock Use fingers/talk/ rock ( and "launder food" in open mouth, in my face ) Eat huge potato on the end of fork ( like a complex carbo lolly of sorts ) Smash up every bit of food on the plate, stick your fingers in it, smear ketchup everywhere Then tell me "I don't like that, you got pizza" "Why aint you got telly on" Christ how I don't napalm the house there & then , I don't know Luckily my eldest has the measure on things. "OK, that's XXXX off the list" He wisely informs me "Now what's for pudding ? " * breathes * W**F

it's Time to say "willy" "Willy" Ah that's better.... W**F

ruffers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I thought the gymnasts were a bit Hitler Youth. ______________________________________________________ ADMIN.. Rule 7 Sub section 2 Hitler/Nazi comparatives. Can we lock this thread now as the above rule infringement has occurred I'll call the cleaning team in later ( they are busy in "what's on..." at the mo ) Jeyes fluid & a blast of "Frish" should sort the pong out W**F *bangs docket with paw shaped rubber stamp*

RosieH Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Were you at a sinister convention? ________________________________________ I... Am sinister at times though generally I'm right... W**F

Personally.... I'm loving this look, though getting on & off my horse is a little awkward Did I mention I ride the city bridleways to work ? Indeed "Giddy up...." W**F

In this "Summer wear"...? Splendidly sartorial I think.... http://www.modernbeekeeping.co.uk/image.php?file=graphics/products/n1adv5.jpg&w=700&h=500 But you may think otherwise..... W**F

legalbeagle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > woofmarkthedog Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > ( oh dear & blimey, I've just spilled "brasso" > everywhere ) > > Woof is that a Derek and Clive reference by any > chance? Just ages since I heard that hilarious > sketch. So wrong! _________________________________________________ Lb It sorts the wheat from the chaff it were Yes Derek & Clive indeed Remember the "Horse race" Love that W**F

176 bus... Here's my favorite bus/train wheeze, but do make sure it's the rush hour Get on the tube/train/bus & in your best "officious" voice, say loudly "Can I see your tickets & passes please" At that point look over your shoulder ( as a decoy ) Walk through & watch everyone rustling through their bags & pocket Ahhh such a joy......... W**F

Here's my pet "Ziggy"... http://www.pioneermonument.com/images/pet/pet%20stone%203.jpg She loves laying in the sun, before I chuck her in the pond ( yeah, & she's been chipped ) W**F

No..... She's a temperamental cow Always going down on me, so boring Though a few hard "pumps" usually sorts her out W**F

Usually.. "We" unpack I then take in some local air IN....OUT.....Ahhhhh http://www.rotten.com/library/sex/masturbation/inventions/sex-dolls/NW414-1.JPG W**F

Hey it's the.... W**F

EDKiwi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > What, no freedom of speach/willy? > Free Willy! > > oh wait...that may get you arrested. Nice speachesTM http://www.worldcommunitycookbook.org/season/guide/photos/peaches.jpg W**FTM

EDKiwi Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Willy! ---------------------------------- SorryTM But I do have copyright? on Willy? You will son receive an infringement letter from my Lawyers W ? ? F

Steveo Really..? I sooooo disagree, in my recollection she wore "blue" W**F

Ladymuck Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Well...you are all quite incorrect! > > Miss you Daizie xx ____________________________ OK... I stand In-corrected then ? And....... ( i'm waiting.....) W**F

"????"s You, Brum & Sean get hungry last night..? "Slags..." W**F

"Awwwighhttt Maaaaate" http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/resources/images/1271759/?type=display Yeah..... W**F

Look... Mac G:)):))D PC UGLY Next ? W**F

brum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Ah! To smell inside Hope and Greenwood, > Or to taste it as Woof would... Brum Stop , my will is wilting ( see I nearly said "willy" there ) and if missus W**F catches me flirting with Miss Hope, with her marzipan drawers.... Well I'm for the high jump ( believe me the bar is set very high this time ) I love your poem, it made my teeth ache with joy Tell, do you think she sleeps on a giant pink marshmallow ? her bedside lamp, a huge fizzy flying saucer & when she gets up she has a pair of slippers made from those "sweet shrimps" hollowed out for her dainty feet Do you, I know I do.....Oh Miss Ho..... *slap slaps own face* OH STOP ME NOW FCOL W**F "Over the counter laid beautifully bare" ( oh dear & blimey, I've just spilled "brasso" everywhere )

Miss Hope Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > Mr Woof are you aware of my blog licking > activities? > > http://www.hopeandgreenwood.co.uk/blog/?p=94 ------?--------------------------- Miss Hope I shall read it with glee Though do you have that trick snap chewing gum in stock ? I have a naughty boy who needs "sharpening up" somewhat That and a carefully placed chilli chocolate should do it Tra laala W**F

Try... Breeze urban yoga in Beckenham W**F

Paddy "pants down" Ashdown Just said on Newsnight "Nick Clegg mastered the debate" Honest, you couldn't make it up " Eye tests anyone " W**F

I.... Am trying not to ask but..... I really want to ask Miss Hope if I can "lick" her I know it sounds kinky but does she taste of sugar or spice ? Or god forbid "salty" Though definitely not "umami" I live in hope as it were W**F

Steve T Are you related in anyway to........ TLS ? W**F