woofmarkthedog

Ok... W**FS EE-ZZ GLOBAL SAFETY SURVEY.TM http://microscopiq.com/images/mushroom-clown-ps3.jpg How many of those "Nuclear Bombs" does it actually take to blow the world as we know it, into a "Katillion" bits One or two Thousand ☐ One or Two dozen ☐ Yes please x 2 with fries ☐ Russia & America have cut theirs WMD to around 1500 each ( is that true ? ) No ☐ No ☐ Not yes ☐ Does it actually make the world safer No ☐ No ☐ No no ☐ Or is this "spin, spin " as it were ? Yes ☐ Yes ☐ Opposite of No ☐ ____________________________________ In the event of global NUCLEAR MELTDOWN I would ( complete the phrase )........ A. ....... my own Mother with an axe B. Kill the neighbors cats because my..........said so C. Meditate & then............my own Mother with an axe D. only be laughing in the face of....... W**F

A "Herb" garden....? http://www.seedstoamerica.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/jasbud1.JPG for some light medicinal relief of course. W**F

Not.. Exactly a happy looking "Islander" but.... http://www.drinkstuff.com/productimg/21193.jpg W**F

Does the local Chinese/Indian deliver ? W**F

I... ..had a sales director / boss who said the following things... "I know it's irritating but I am always right..." "I measure my success in handbags " "My husband hardly talks, he's virtually autistic " ( When she wasn't around he spoke just fine, she just bullied him into silence) All in a really nasally Kiwi accent Sad but true & she honestly believed them. Hand on heart she was the nastiest bitch I have ever had to endure (& I was good at my job ) There was also an unspoken rule that if you wanted to get on you had to "fancy" her or at least pretend to, she made me cringe At the Christmas parties she was a legendary groper of the male staff ( yes, even in front of her husband ), especially when the booze kicked in Thankfully I only had to work with her for a 6 month contract W**F *shudders..*

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I think the Government are planning to do your job > for you Woof. > > But I agree, children need to be protected from > second hand smoking. Well done. > > Liked the comment about white vauxhall corsa > though, that would be a tougher call, Mrs Woof > might be shocked and horrified as she picks Woof > up off the floor. ____________________________________________________ Jokes aside... Back in the day my Dad smoked in the car, I always hated it . But that was an era where "ignorance" of the facts could be cited So what shocked me about this woman in Regent St was, here was a seemingly "with it" person who unless they live in a cave must know the dangers of smoking. Especially in a confined space like a car with a young baby, not just having a crafty puff "desperately " out the window, but positively reveling in it, filling the car with smoke Though who knows, she may have been suffering PND , or her husband had been caught screwing the nanny. It took me aback somewhat & still does As for the road rage risk, you're right *Bob* however, I may feel less "advisory" in say Brixton or Camberwell That's for sure... W**F

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > (record spin-back sound effect) > > A car draws-up alongside. It's a Vauxhall Corsa, > with a spoiler on the back and a UV light > underneath. Old-Skool 'choons' pump out of the > window. A tatooed arm hangs partially out of the > window with a chunky gold bracelet on the wrist - > and a Rothmans 'twixt the digits. > > There's a baby in the back - wearing an earring. > > > Do you follow the same course of action? __________________________________________________ Is the.. ..baby smoking too ? ("Soverigns" or a "Mayfair" more likely) Anyway as I said MrsW**F was with me I don't like her driving the Corsa up "WestEnd" W**F

Michael Palaeologus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I was once caught in a traffic jam on the A40 next > to a posh car with Princess Margaret sat in the > back smoking like a chimney. > > Look what happened to her ... ____________________________________ Well... I don't really mind what an individual does to themselves She was also of her time W**F

OKAY ... I am wearing "Purple" if that helps But she was bang outta order NO ? I nearly called social services W**F

Oh Jessica... I'm so touched When I'm dead it will give my wife & children great comfort, I'm sure. (I said WHEN btw) Grrr W**F *Love this budget clip/stuff from Osborne though..* http://news.bbc.co.uk/democracylive/hi/house_of_commons/newsid_8585000/8585888.stm

Well.... I was driving Regent street, traffic was slow & busy as I pulled up beside a nice top of the range BMW Shooting brake going in the opposite direction. Inside a lady driver was having a puff on a cigarette, really getting stuck into it. She made big puffed out cheeks as she blew smoke rings for her pleasure. She was positively lost in the joy of it, filling the car with smoke In doing so she caught my gaze & shifted back upright in her seat. Also in the back of her car was a baby in it's travel seat. She saw that I saw and looked away. Now I am quietly outspoken (really, yes me...) but this hit my "Tourette's" button and before I knew it I'd called out the car window "You rotter, smoking over a child" And..."You should be ashamed of yourself.." or words to that effect but no swearing, I promise Her jaw dropped, she then sped off Now the normally patient Mrs W**F looked at me "horrified" "Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that" ( and she's heard a few robust declarations from me in her time ) She was mortified, her hand over her mouth looking at me in total disbelief I stood my ground of course Well you would, wouldn't you ? Because I was in the right....right ? W**F

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Wasn't that the point woof? -------------------------------------- Yes & No W**F

Brendan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > What do you think the chances are of the public > seeing this emergency budget before the election > so that we can make up our own minds on which we > would rather have? __________________________________________________________ Errm... Less than Zero ? Is there a risk/chance scale that goes below that ? Like for instance..... Say if I jump off "The Hoover Dam" whilst encased in a concrete suit, my chances of survival are of course "ZERO" Why ? Because "The Hoover Dam" & concrete actually exist But the "Emergency Budget" ? That doesn't "actually" exist, does it now ? I mean there's probably a folder at Tory HQ marked "Emergency Budget" which is used as a prop, to be carried into meetings. Then when "Boy George" Osbourne sees himself in the Press carrying said file, he's deluded into thinking " Well I can see a file right there under my arm, so the Emergency Budget does exist, see " Really though, the chances of seeing it are "Less than Zero" In the real world....( wherever that is ?) http://www.starlinetours.com/images/LasVegas/HooverDam-Front.jpg) W**F * sketches dog shaped "concrete" suit*

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Has anyone put anything in cider recently?* > > *A shiny shilling for the first scallawag that > identifies the comedy reference. ____________________________________________________ *Me.... Me, me... Yes I put "something in cider" she moaned at first then loved it Even licking her lips after ( dirty cow ) W**F

You... ...Bet it can http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_h_xXyXPypkk/SP4aqR1HH-I/AAAAAAAAAGo/1U_8JVYFSTU/s400/all4.jpg But then again America is sooooooo ahead of us ( Did I just say that ?) W**F

Well.... IMHO...Tick Tock... We are running dangerously close to an election & the chancellor is "looking at the clock " as it were http://www.seriouseats.com/images/20090105_artisanal_cheese_clock.jpg But did you hear "Boy George" Osbourne on BBCR4 this morning ? he was doing a verbal "balloon dance" with policy or lack of it "I'm not showing you anything on here" or words to that effect. For christ sakes is that meant to be the "opposition" Though had he mentioned the "cider tax".... Then I'd probably "consider" voting for him "Flim flam" W**F

She....( you.. ) Sounds FAR too good for any of my " friends " Now be honest, on a 1- 10 scale how neurotic are you/is she I mean, is "selotape" used to pick hairs/dust off the stair carpet, are cushions "plumped" for example, in rotation every time you ...sorry "she" walks in the room ? Now for a brief word association test BUNNY Boiler ☐ -Kins ☐ Oh, yes please with extra gravy ☐ Tick box. Best wishes & good luck I'll keep my ears peeled W**F

Can... I punch someone's "lights out" Does that count ? W**F

"I like a fat hot one....." ( oh it just gets better every day ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzt-9nkfHHI " Baa bee boooo ..." and.... " Mustard & Ketchup.....dee doooh " ( come on *Bob* there must be a jingle here ....somewhere ) "Morning everybody....." W:)):))F

Nothing yet... but hoping for a light "bite" some time soon W**F *sniffs "cheesy" fingers*

"Hello ...???...(hick)..?'s..." http://cideruk.com/images/photo_galleries/P5300010_medium.jpg"Hello my cider lovelies" W:)-DF

Jeremy This is your Dad .... http://www.spam.com/ASSETS/A4B4A9274918438088523755744A19A9/6900-6.jpg isn't it... Now I understand.... W**F

Yeah... ...but who'd want to live in a boring ol "pre-fab" anyway http://media.dwell.com/images/480*643/blue-sky-prototype-house-exterior-portrait-balcony.jpg ...eh ? W**F

Oi... http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/CSP/CSP122/k1229269.jpg "get your coat, you've pulled "

Say... http://www.unrealshop.co.uk/images/grater.jpg " CHEESE "