laurac

I went to Paris for the weekend when my eldest was 2yr9m - the first time I had been away from her overnight. I was worried about how she might be (she spent every weekday with me) but to be honest she was so fine she couldn't even be bothered to speak to me on the phone when I anxiously checked in every day! My partner had planned a special 'camping' trip for her at his mum and dads which definitely worked as a special treat/major distraction so I would recommend for your husband to think of planning something out of the ordinary for them to do together - although I appreciate perhaps not so easy when he has your eight month old to care for as well. Hope you have a great time and don't worry too much, I'm sure she will be fine.

Hi Jenny I didn't use a dummy with my first daughter but ended up feeding her to sleep every time she needed a nap or woke in the night. With my second daughter I introduced a dummy at about five/six weeks because she was finding it hard to settle in the day and I really didn't want to get into the same patterns as I had first time round. I'm so glad I did; my daughter goes down for her naps and to sleep in her cot (with dummy) with no fuss which is a complete revelation to me - even six/seven months on! Completely agree with all the posts above - really don't feel bad about using it to settle your baby x

Have all the paperwork and have been meaning to get this done for my 7 month old daughter for months! I think it's three weeks, possibly two if you do the check and send service at the post office (about ?8.00). I know you can't do the very fast turnaround for first passports because of the extra paperwork involved.

Also the oldest of three girls and agree with Fuschia - my sisters are 2 and 6 years younger than me which makes no difference at all now we are in our 20s and 30s, I have an equally good - but different - relationship with them both. When we were children though we were very mean to my youngest sister, completely disinterested in playing with her which meant she spent all her time trashing our things to get our attention. However I also know of other families with two children close together and then a gap to a third and this has worked really well for them with the older children making a fuss of the little one - I think we were just a particularly tight twosome. I have two girls and definitely want another baby relatively quickly - I have a three and a half year gap between my first two.

My 6 month old has been pooing a lot, probably 6/7 times a day, always clay-like, since she started on solids - the change has been pretty dramatic. Although I am sure she is teething again (she had her first two teeth at 4 and a half months) I have definitely put it down to weaning, although unlike your daughter she packs away a lot of food and is on three good 'meals' a day. I did take her to the doctor a couple of weeks ago as she has been waking a lot at night with wind/tummy ache (this pre-dates her starting on solids) and I was worried she had some kind of sensitivity/intolerance (to formula, dairy??). The doctor was adamant this wasn't the case (my daughter is on the 91st centile and is very cheery). She said it takes two years for babies' digestive systems to properly mature and put any upset down to all the mouthing my daughter is doing. Who knows - I took from this that even at six/seven months some babies' systems are still really sensitive and easily upset without it necessarily being anything serious - although your daughters excretions seem a little more extreme than mine!

Like everyone else I really don't think you could get better care than that from the Brierley - I'm sure you've got the message from all the posts above! Just wanted to add that when I had to transfer to Kings after the birth of my daughter last summer for a retained placenta, both my Brierley midwives came with me, even though one of them should have finished her shift so they really do make every effort to stay with you, even if you've had the baby. Also the aftercare is fantastic; although this was my second baby and things went well I know if I had needed more support it would definitely have been available and they would have upped the number of visits - as it was I saw someone every 3-5 days for about 4 weeks. If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again I will be on the phone to book in with them immediately!

Hi Anna Baby B exactly the same as your little one (91st centile and pretty much sitting up) and I weaned her at five months; she is enjoying her food immensely (much more so than my first daughter); it is actually quite terrifying the amount she seems to want to eat - any and everything offered, mashed or pureed! So am glad we started early as I don't think I could have held out with her eyeballing us mournfully at every meal for another month. I was keen to go with BLW this time and have tentatively tried her with a few bits of avocado and while I think negotiating picking food up and transferring it to mouths is a little bit beyond them so young, as Sophie says it could be a great distraction for your daughter and a good first step towards joining in with mealtimes. Am looking forward to being able to throw a variety of things on to B's tray and leaving her to it!

Sorry Snowboarder, no helpful advice for you at all but just responding to an earlier question about books for children which deal with child birth; I bought 'Hello Baby' by Jenni Overend for my then three and a half year old and she really enjoyed it although my mum did raise her eyebrows. It's about a home birth with all the family present so maybe not everybody's cup of tea but anyone expecting with slightly older children welcome to borrow it.

Just noticed logged in as my partner for the above post - he definitely is not anguishing about naps!!

Ditto - to get my partner back from work and then out to his parents with my daughter and back is going to take at least a couple of hours. Am due with my second in four days so have been reading this thread with interest. Very heartening that it is likely to be quicker although I am not sure I would like it as quick as some of you ladies! My first labour was probably 6/7 hours of established labour and 1/2 hour of pushing so hoping I will have time to get my head around it all before it's over!

I got mine from Topshop - but just the normal store rather than maternity and went a size up. Sound like what you want, thick straps and not too low, they are ?12 and come in a number of colours. I am now almost 8 months pregnant and they are still fitting really well (plus long enough to wear over leggings still) so possible alternative to H&M if Topshop easier to get to for you......

Was also a bit jealous of the Autumn babies club! I am due with my second on 20th July (my daughter will be 3 1/2 by then so sure have basically forgotten everything about newborns!). I will try and make 9th June but definitely up for park-meeting in the day.

I think I am going to have to stop listening to Radio 4 because although my 3 1/2 year old had a good grasp of the election ,and for a time wanted to call our new baby Nick Clegg (it's going to be a girl!), she is starting to understand the news and every mealtime now is piping up with 'who's dead now Mummy?'. I think it's a bit early for such a pessimistic view of the world!

Hi - I'm an extra to join having negotiated the evening out - looking forward to meeting everyone Laura

Can't make 22nd but definitely would like to meet again so hopefully see you in May!

My daughter (3) has Monkey, Bagpipe (she is very windy!) and Bottomley Potts (no idea why other than the name appeals and I like saying it - from the Hairy Maclary books). Now I look at them they could be construed as pretty perjorative (sp?) but are meant affectionately!!

Buggie I just wanted to pick up on your statement that because you and your partner were 'difficult' births this might have some bearing on how you deliver. My mum had a horrific, extremely traumatic, 48 hour birth with me (hallucinations and all sorts) and I was delivered with the really horrible forceps that they don't use any more (I hope) - she should have had a cesarean but there was no anesthetist on duty. I delivered my 9lb 4oz daughter at home with no complications. I am not telling you this to try and influence your decision, or make any judgement about where you choose to have your baby at all. It just sounds like you think there might be some connection between your mothers experience and what yours will be and I am pretty certain that there doesn't have to be any connection at all so please don't let this prey on your mind. I completely agree with Molly that going into labour with a positive attitude has a major impact, wherever you have your baby. I found out after my home birth that my mum had been terrified for me (because of her own labouring experiences) - but she never said anything to me to make me worry about my decision - am very lucky I guess!

Very timely as I had my 22 week scan this morning and chose to find out the sex while my partner didn't - I think I will be fine keeping it a secret from him but I do wish he wanted to know too! With our first baby we didn't find out and I think it would have helped me 'connect' more with the idea of a baby to know the sex. It was all very abstract until she literally flew out but maybe that is down to my lack of imagination! I also agree with earlier poster that there is so much joy in meeting/looking at your baby at the birth that the sex is kind of secondary and therefore nice to have that snippet of information half way through your pregnancy as something to look forward to. Having said that I do feel a bit ambiguous now I know - maybe because the sex is different to what I was expecting (as it was with my daughter!) so maybe it will just take a bit of getting used to/re-orienting. But I think if you are wavering and thinking you don't want to know you probably should go with that.

Hi I had a home birth with my daughter 3 years ago through the Kings Community Midwives and am booked with the Brierley for my second due in July (again, thanks to Molly!). Would love to meet up on Thursday - although not sure how long my 3 year will let me chat for! Will also be nice to meet some first and second time summer-due mums. Laura

Snowboarder I think the advice from Smiler is incredibly helpful - constantly being woken in the night has a horrific effect on you and a couple of nights 'better' sleep a week will make a big difference to how you feel and cope in the day. I was in a similar position to you with my daughter - her sleep was actually worst at 8-10 months when she would wake every half hour/hour after going down at 7pm (to my shame I always fed her back to sleep) until about 10/11pm after which she would generally wake about 3/4 more times during the night. At around this time I started to co-sleep with her which made things a little better but not much - I would still be feeding her about 3 times a night. Not sure if helpful information but at 14 months I stopped breast-feeding her (over an Easter w/end so my partner was around in the day). The first night there was some distress but not as much as I had feared although because I was sleeping with her I guess this might have made it easier. By the third night she was waking once for a sip of water and going back to sleep. Obviously my daughter was older than your son which meant I could explain why I was refusing her to some extent and I would not say to you this is your only option for a better nights sleep but it is what worked for me and if I could go back I would have done it much sooner. I would definitely take on Snowboarders advice though and try and get your partner to take on the nights a couple of times a week although this would also mean the end to the night-feeding??

I know the Brierley midwives take on anyone who falls under Kings and visit you at home for your booking in appointment and then again after 36 weeks and in between you go and see them at East Dulwich Hospital. I booked with them when I was 7 weeks pregnant in November and felt a bit silly with it being so early but they assured me they were already booking people at an even earlier stage in their pregnancy so I would definitely get in touch with them sooner rather than later. They are in the office between 9am and 10am I think - I left a message on the answering machine and someone called me straight back. Laura

Really useful thread for me - so thanks Millsa for starting it and everyone for all the info. My daughter has also been very clingy recently although this could also be down to a traumatic introduction to nursery...

Ann Absolutely fine - obviously something you need to think about very carefully with an older child and will start to before we tell her. Just can't afford to let myself be overwhelmed by the new baby as i was first time round because will need to probably concentrate more on my three year old. And am thinking rabbit/guinea pig/rabbit and guinea pig might form part of a multi-pronged strategy to ease the new baby into her life!

Reren I was completely the opposite to Pickle - surprised myself with the amount of primeval bellowing I did during the second stage of labour! I think at that stage though you couldn't care less about bothering your neighbours and our neighbour actually very oddly thought we were having a party - I'm not sure what that says about her idea of a good time! I definitely wouldn't let neighbourly considerations put you off a home birth - even if you do screech it won't be for that long... Laura

Millsa My baby is due in July when my daughter will be exactly three and a half(!) We were planning to tell her before my second scan at 22 weeks and give her the option of coming along. My mum thinks this is definitely too soon to tell her and that she will be freaked out by the scan but I feel a bit weird that everyone knows but her and she does keep looking at my tummy and asking how I'm feeling (have not been able to hide my nausea). Will do a bit of reading before tell her and getting some books is a great tip. I think there is definitely a big difference though between two and three/three and a half although I am also a little worried about helping her adjust to the baby esp. as we spend all our time together at the moment......something else to start worrying about!