Mellors

St Thomas' don't allow previous C-sections onto their Home from Home midwifery led centre either.

Yes, monitoring was one of the issues with me. I was told in no uncertain terms that a homebirth was not supported due to risk of scar rupture and requirement for continuous monitoring in a VBAC. Which also meant no birth pool etc etc etc. In fact at 14 days over (my lazy babies are alwasy late!) Kings tried to c-section me again that day until I had a huff and left in tears. I ended up (with all thanks to my incredibly supportive private midwives) that evening having a wonderful short VBAC birth, with minimal monitoring, in the pool, after a relatively short completely natural labour (and all this despite being very small and having a 9lb baby!) Pah! I wonder if the position has changed? I was with DMC (although pre-Lanes).

Interesting question. I wanted a HBAC with No 2, and Kings/my local health centre midwives in ED wouldn't support me in it, so I ended up paying for private midwives. I had the most wonderful birth (all natural) with No 2 so it was worth every penny. I wonder if they are more supportive now (this was 2 years ago). I'm happy to fill you in on the details etc etc if you want to drop me a PM, or ask any questions on here.

I feel your pain (literally). I had to go to the docs mine were so awful, who gave me suppositories. Gross, but by that time the world and his wife had had their hands up my underneathies it felt like, so I was beyond caring frankly. They did help lots. I just convinced myself they must see it every day! The good news is they went pretty quickly after birth...

Really sorry to hear about all this Fuschia. I know what a dreadful time it is, and am very glad everything is ok. I do hope you get some rest. Shout if you need anything - we're all here for you! x PS I would go mental at the midwives if it were me - unacceptable. It also makes me worry how on earth anyone who isn't as able to fight their corner as us (e.g. not got English as a first language, young and inexperienced with the system etc) every gets decent care. Shocking.

Checking in as they are, they have had pretty heavy kid-wear for years, so think it will be hard to do anything too awful to them.

My nursery (Puddleducks in Nunhead) let you use the 12.5 hours for free.

I'm fed up with the gross quality of hire car seats, and the lack of availability (we have always got one in the end, but it normally seems to involve a fight). Also, they cost a fortune. This year I'm driving to Gatwick, getting one of those collection people to take away my car from arrivals, and checking in my own car seats (at no extra cost). Hubby will pick up hire car at other end and drive round for us lot and we will use our own.

No way am I going to stop listening to Radio 4, its on all day, and the only thing that keeps me sane during the long, long days of childcare when I beg just to hear the voice of somebody who is not screaming at me insanely/wailing for one reason or another (other than during the Today prog, obv).

I also forgot the part where you laugh hysterically if the husband is ever ridiculous enough to suggest you ever have sex again.....

I still can't think about a couple of week's ago "but we just wanted to see what your make up looked like mummy......" incident on the beige carpets of our bedroom (and subsequent enormous bill) without weeping silently. Driving scares me sometimes, I often forget why I am in the car at all......

Bedtime - this is what I used to do. I stuck them both in the bath together at 6ish. Make sure you take everything in for getting baby & toddler ready for bed (nappies/sleepsuit/sleeping bag etc) & bouncy chair/playmat. Let baby splash about, then get it out and get it dresssed & ready for bed (in the bathroom). Feed baby whilst sitting on loo supervising toddler (my breastfeeds used to take an age, but toddler was happy to play in bath for ages, so worked well). Once feed is finished lie baby in bouncy chair/on playmat whilst you get toddler out/dressed. Stick (hopefully sleepy) fed clean baby in cot, shut door and do a runner. Take toddler to bedroom, quick story lights out etc. Ignore baby if possible (if it refuses to sleep!). Shut toddlers door and run back to baby if need be (mine had often given up the fight at this point and conked out). Go downstairs, open wine, drink large glass, have a cry, ignore mess, watch telly. Thump huband who comes home and asks whats for dinner. Try not to think about how on earth you are going to do it all again tomorrow and what your life has become. Fall asleep on sofa still covered in milk/yoghurt/poo. Wake up one day at about the 1 year point and realise you have survived ;-)

I know how you feel, as my son was 21 months when daughter was born. I am a bit hazy now on the finer details (a whole 18 months in!), but I'll do my best to answer your worries: - round 2 of sleep deprivation (our daughter only started sleeping through regularly aged 2, only a couple of months ago) Tough one - hope you get a decent sleeper this time. I was much less inclined to pay No 2 any attention once in bed (I literally dumped her in her cot at 7pm as I had to do toddler's story etc, and I am sure she learned to self settle so much better as a result of this). I just didnt have time to do the rocking/feeding to sleep blah blah I did with No 1. She survived and sleeps amazingly well. Oh, and if you can get them to take a bottle from early on (expressed milk if thats your thing) then get your OH to do the 10/11pm feed and go to bed as soon as you can in the evening. You have to be practical - you'll be up first thing for a 12 hour session with the toddler in the morning, so grab help at all times! I also used to get mine to do either Saturday/Sunday morning early shift so I could grab a couple of hours of extra kip. - handling colic / crying bouts at same time as looking after a toddler Again fingers crossed you don't get a colicky one. No 1 screamed every night from 7 - 10pm for about 4 months, and it was this I dreaded more than anything else. No 2 just didn't, thank christ. If they do you have to just juggle - in some ways the needs of the toddler are more important - the baby won't die if its in its bouncy chair/playmat crying for a few mins after all. - getting out and about - how d'you get out of the house / what buggy / how to have activities for the older one while fitting in feeds / naps for the little one? Double buggy (P&T) to strap 'em both in and get out of the house. My lifesaver was playgroup every single morning come hell or high water. Let the older one go mental in a safe environment and tire themselves out. Pray some kindly person makess you a cup of tea. If baby sleeps then great, if not you can sit and feed comfortably whilst toddler is entertained. Try & get them back for an earlyish lunch and chuck them both in bed whilst you collapse. Baby is going to have ot fit in with your existing routine this time round I'm afraid. Mine spent an awful lot of time asleep in the pram/car/bouncy chair/playmat. - being at home full-time again (currently work part-time with toddler at nursery, which has gone quite well, and am not at all domestic or practical). This is a tough one. You'll be too tired to care much really, and at the end of the day you just have to get one with it. Can you keep toddler at nursery? They love it, and it gives you some one on one time with the baby (to assuage your guilt at mostly ignoring them). I also found the creche at Beckenham Spa/Peckham Pulse a lifesaver - both open every morning, and Beckenham takes them from 3 months (and they are lovely). Chuck 'em in and go for a swim/coffee - an hour of mental downtime with no kids does wonders to make you feel human again. Its not easy, but it is perfectly possible, sometimes even enjoyable (!), and you WILL manage better than you think I'm sure. We're all here to support you x

I think I'd be reducing my cleaner's rate if I had to pay her for 40 hours a week though.....

JAPS no longer take boys from this year (I had my son's name down and got a letter from them).

I'm afraid that the only person I know who had a natural breech birth with her first son now has a 3 year old who is quite severly diabled as a result (oxygen starvation to due cord prolapse or some such). There is no way I would take the risk, and I know she spends every day of her life wishing she had made a different choice. Thats just one story though, and I am sure there are loads more positive ones!

Mine are ?6 - ?8 an hour cash, and tend to live nearby or drive themselves home. Otherwise I would give them a lift (although I dont drink so its not an issue for me). Hope that helps.

I'd be happy to start off a tea group from my house - as far as I know when it was NCT you just get together a list of email addresses of people who have babies due at about the same time (e.g. the September Club can PM you). Get them round to your house a few times until they get to know each other, then organise a rota where they then do it from each others houses. I would dispense pearls of wisdom as a mother of a 2 and 3.5 year old, but I am not sure I have any (other than DO take the drugs) lol.

I absolutely loved it when I looked round, and did get offered a place but in the end it was just too far for us to travel for a 2 1/2 hour session (would have been turning round to go and collect as soon as I had got home practically). I've never heard anything bad about it though.

Does anyone know how far away the distance was for Ivydale? Am thinking of moving to Nunhead to get out of the East Dulwich "black hole" hell!

Do let us know, I really hope in a way it is, so you can get it fixed (the op is a tiny snip, nothing to worry about - even though you will!) x

Ah Pickle, I was hoping you'd see this as a fellow mother of a tongue tied child! x

It really sounds like it could be a tongue tie to me, I had it with both mine and the fighting you describe (and pain latching on) was exactly the same. It wasn't picked up by midwives, health visitors or the breastfeeding cafe I went to until I went to Kings in desperation. If you have a look in his mouth it might be quite obvious - his tongue will be "heart shaped" and ort of pulling in in the middle. If you can't see it it might stil be there though. Defo get him checked out. I had to express milk and bottle feed mine until it was fixed as they really couldn't feed at all and lost lots of weight (bottle is different as they don't have to suck in the same way). Have you tried a bottle? Good luck whatever it is, I know what a nightmare you are going through x

About 6.30 - 7am on Sunday morning (last Bank hol weekend).

Just a thought, but I wonder if somebody is taking them for scrap? There was a low back truck came down my street in Central ED the other day and stopped outside the house to have a good rummage through the skip next door (which happened just to be full of garden rubble). They must have been after metal though, because they managed to fish a couple of metal brackets out of the front of my other neighbours garden. It was really early, so I was half asleep and not thinking straight, but I noticed there were a couple of bikes and a kids trike on the back which I later thought was strange... Not very helpful, but you have my every sympathy, my husband got his Ridgeback nicked from our garden a while ago and was furious. Check your house insurance to see if you can claim?