Mellors

I can also recommend seeing a sympathetic doctor and getting antidepressants or other help if you feel its all out of control. "Mummies Little Helpers" were a godsend/lifeline to me when things were at their worst. Poor woman.

Interesting indeed, and very true. I often feel guilty about trying to combine being a good mummy and holding down a job as a City lawyer (albeit 3 days a week post children, although the relaity is a full weeks worth of hours for 3 days pay). I worry about whether I am damaging my children by working, or damaging my career by working only part time. When I was little ( in the 70s) I was always told I could do whatever I wanted career-wise if I worked hard enough. This was by my mother who had never had a career. I assume thats why she missed about the bit about how ruddy impossible it would be to try and do it and have two small children though (and she still has no sympathy for me lol). Us mothers can never win, it seems!

I think what we really need are more allotments - growing your own = cheap, no food miles, organic (if you choose), delicious, and nutritious. The excercise in digging your spud bed is enough to fulfil anyone's weekly quota, and I've never met a child yet who won't eat a fruit or veg its grown itself. Surely it would save the NHS gazillions?

Fuschia Wrote: > Leaving them to cry raises levels of stress > hormones and permanently affects brain chemistry. > :-( > > Surely thats not true? How does it permanently affect brain chemistry?

Just shows you get told all sorts by different people - I was told by the GP to swap Son No 1 from cows milk to soya to help his eczema, and he has had soya ever since. Seems fine on it.

The starting point is what it says re leave in your contract of employment. ACAS says: Restrictions on taking holidays may be expressly stated in the contract of employment, implied from custom and practice or incorporated into individual contracts from a collective agreement between the employer and trade union(s). Employers may choose to: ? shut down for certain periods during which all or some groups of workers have to use their annual holiday entitlement ? nominate particular dates as days of closure, when workers are expected to take annual leave (for example, over the Christmas and New Year period) ? determine the maximum amounts of leave that can be taken on any one occasion and also the periods when leave may be taken. An employer can require a worker to take all or any of the leave to which a worker is entitled at specific times, provided that the worker is given prior notice. Its well worth ringing them if you want to talk it through (free employment advice): Monday - Friday 08:00 - 20:00 - 08457 47 47 47 Saturday 09:00 - 13:00 - 08457 47 47 47

I agree with the above. I am in the same position as you (daughter is one at the end of August), and plan to do what I did with No 1 son (now 2.5), which was basically to use up all the formula around his 1st birthday and then just give him whole cows milk instead. He didn't seem to notice the difference to be honest. I stuck to his normal 3 bottles a day (morning, lunch and bed) until he seemed to just wean himself off it. To start with he stopped drinking his lunchtime milk, then didn't want any in a morning. Now he just has his bedtime milk.

I had skin to skin straight away with my son. They pulled him out, gave him a quick wipe & check and plopped him on my chest whilst they did their sewing up. He was feeding happily whilst they went about their business :)

Just thought I would set the record straight re this. I have been this morning and they did weigh my baby as it was empty, but I got told off as the Tuesday 10am clinic is strictly for Townley Rd patients (Dr Doha), and they do check now. The clinic for patients registered at DMC is Wednesday 12 noon.

Hope its ok Heidi. That's boys for you - no end of trouble from start to finish ;) I know there are additional problems for you, but a c-section is what's needed to keep baby safe if he stays breech then that may be what needs to happen. I've done it both ways and have to agree with sb above that in the end the birth is just a small stepping stone to the start of a lifelong relationship with your child. Whatever it takes to keep you both safe and begin that journey in the best way possible is all that really matters in the end. That's the annoying thing about children - you have all theser great ideas about how its going to be and what you are going to do, and they go and scupper it by deciding they want it different lol.

Thanks, its ok, I'll pop along tomorrow morning at 10am for screaming baby hell lol.

Does anyone know when this is please? I think my usual one at DMC is no longer running from recollection?

Cow & Gate for both of mine has worked fine.

Ha ha Curly, very true, I am properly working class and went to really skanky state schools - hence my saying I would go private in a flash if I had the money! My husband was privately educated from primary level and also sees the benefits of it (he is still very good friends with a lot of his schoolmates for examle, where as most of mine are in prison or on crack, or both). He isn't a bit stuck up, but I think it does give you confidence, and him and his friends all seem to have done very well for themselves. I can't see what the issue is really if money is no object. As somebody above said, life will knock and pretentions out of them sooner or later.

It would be Suffolk/Essex borders for us (East Bergholt/Dedham/Manningtree). Fab houses, cheap, great schools (ahem), Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty, nearer to family. Hour on the train to Liverpool St.

If mnoney wasn't an issue I would send mine privately, no question. I too am looking at the moving out of London thing though. There is no way my children will go to some of the schools in this borough.

Its a shame no community midwives were available when I had my first baby 2 1/2 years ago (this was in Kennington when I got pregnant, so Lambeth weho don't do it, and too late to get one their books by the time I moved here at 7 months gone. I couldn't do it at home on the NHS second time because I ended up with a c-section after a horrendous catalogue of errors by St Thomas' 1st time, and as a VBAC you are "high risk". As I said, if I could get in with a community midwife team if I had another one (and could try for a home birth) I would be more than happy to have saved my cash. Over my dead body (or bank account) was I going through the hell the NHS put me thought first time though!

London Bridge/Borough Market/Tate etc is a quickie fave of ours.

I have to say if you are having a home birth then the midwife lead teams that run out of the doctors surgeries sounds fabulous and free! (mine didn't offer it at the time). If I had another and was confident it would be straightforward I think I would do that and save my cash.

I had my second birth with these people (after a grim birth ending in a C-section 1st time): http://www.birthcentre.com/ I seriously can't recommend it highly enough. You have private midwifery care before, during and after the birth. they will organise private scans if you wish, although you can go to Kings (or your local NHS hospital) for those. You will know your midwives, who will (literally) hold your hand every step of the way. They carry out full prenatal checks at home (every other day when it gets near to the time!) and are available 24/7 for advice. You can either have the baby at home, at their fabulous birth centre (which is practically attached to St Georges in Tooting - reassuring in the event you should need medical intervention) or in hospital. they will help and guide you through whatever you choose. After the birth they support you for the next 6 weeks, including with breastfeeding etc. With my first (NHS) I saw a health visitor about twice briefly I think, it was rubbish. It was a totally different, life enhancing experience for me. Best ?5k I have ever spent (and you pay in installments running up to the birth, so mine was about ?700 a month for 7 months or so? PM me if you want any more info.

Heh!

Agreed, dont bother with the horrid mattress like maternity pads - the Always Ultra Night Time pads were great, and much more slimline. If you have had a C-section (or even if not), I really recommend these: http://www.nctshop.co.uk/Stretch-Briefs-3-Pack/productinfo/2015/ Ok, they look really rank (and lets face it they are) but they are so comfy cause they sit really high up and are super stretchy, and you can gve them a quick rinse through and stick them back on cause they dry straight away. I went down the cheap pack of cotton knickers 1st time, but these were loads better.

I'e just been through a redundancy process at my work (City law). I am the only part time employee (3 days a week) and in the end the half of the team that ended up leaving were all full time members of staff. I think in a lot of ways it worked in my favour - I was very flexible and offered to work more or less days as the job required (this only works if you have a nanny). I also think they get great value for money from me - I am quite senior, but they only have to pay me just over half my salary, and I work really hard (more than half as hard!). I can work unsupervised, am totally professional and can manage the more junior staff for them. I think its a winner for them in the current economic climate - experienced staff on a flexible basis for not much cash!

I work as a lawyer in the City and went back when my son was 11 months old 3 days a week on fixed hours (9am - 5.30pm) after baby 1. Thankfully I had a super nanny, which made things a lot easier as she did the morning and evening routine in our home, so less hassle for me, and less disturbing for him. I had No 2 shortly afterwards and am now due to go back again when she is almost a year old, again with a nanny. I was surprised that my work agreed to part time hours, as its very macho (I am one of the few women who is not support staff, and the only one ever to take maternity leave!) but it works well for all of us. I have a good guy who works for me on the two days I am off, and I check my Blackberry etc during the day for any urgent emails, but generally I dont work on the days I am at home. I am pleased I went back, and in fact have just fought hard to keep my job in a redundancy process, which happily I did. I love being at home with the children, but my main concern was that having trained for years to get to where I am if I gave up completely then I would have nothing to go back to when they are at school in a few years time. 3 days is a perfect balance for me - they dont miss me too much (I am home for bedtime and stories), and I get time to be a grown up, plus the money comes in very handy. It is possible, but only if you lay down very strict rules about what constitutes part time work with your employer. the key for me has to remain 100% committed and professional (in their eyes, even if I dont always feel it!) at all times.

Me too, 2.5 year old boy and 9 month old girl. The picnic area is great (plus if you give them lunch/dinner when you are there it saves all the cleaning up in your own house lol).