hellosailor

Thanks so much for all the replies, I really appreciate it! xx

Our daughter is 2 and in a few weeks we're expecting our second baby who is a boy. There will be an almost 2.5 year gap between them. Since finding out the baby is a boy 3 months ago I have been in a real spin about it, which I know is a lot to do with the fact that my brother and I had an abusive childhood so the idea of a mixed gender pair of children somehow feels very negative to me, and stirs up all sorts of things that I wasn't anticipating until we found out the gender. My brother and I fought viciously like cat and dog from the day we were born, and had an intensely negative relationship, in fact it is only now in the last year that we have started to make friends again after 30plus years of unpleasantness. I think our relationship was so bad for 2 main reasons, firstly we're twins and were always battling it out for supremacy, if you know what I mean, and partly because of what was happening at home, we were psychologically and emotionally very scared and destabilised and took this out on each other. I think as teenagers and in our 20s we wanted to put as much space between us as possible as seeing each other reminded us of the past and what we went through. Anyway, I'm waffling, in short I was very keen for our second child to be a girl too as that felt completely different from my own childhood plus I have always wished I had a sister - I'd also built up a real fantasy in my head about how amazing and special it must be to have a same sex sibling and (nutty I know) feel like I've let my daughter down by not providing her with a sister. I wonder if any of you family roomers can reassure me that mixed gender siblings can have a good relationship and play well together, enjoy their relationship with each other etc? I know my feelings must sound ridiculous to a lot of people, but I just can't help feeling anxiety about this - am seeing a therapist to try and work through my own experiences as a child but would really value any reassurance about boy and girl siblings having good relationships...thanks all

we chose between these two the other day, I think the volo has mesh sides which means it's great for airflow if on holiday in a hot country but I figured rather nippy when it's freezing here, so we went for the triumph. also because of the recline as you say.

buggie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > I'm all for the un-pinkification of girls, but > think if in life you demonstrate in life the > values you aspire for them, then the occasional > fairy tale or request to dress as a fairy won't > cause the creation of a submissive & brow beaten > adult. > > No matter their reading material, yourselves as > parents will still be their number one role model. good point, couldn't agree more Buggie

Poor thing, my 2 year old is constipated too and wanders round farting miserably saying 'poo poo' and clutching her bottom. we've been trying to get her to eat dried apricots all day as they usually help and she won't take syrup of figs. Have you tried prunes, dried apricots, lots of sunflower seeds, fruit juice, drinking lots of mugs of warm water (as warm as she can drink it) and a warm bath? Hope something shifts tonight...

recent threads on this on here have suggested that Oak Tree on Tell Grove (off East Dulwich Grove) has spaces.

Yes it's called Dulwich pre school. Tho their general intake is every September and it is from age 2.5 onwards.

Yes it's very easy to get a completely wrong reading with an ear thermometer unless you get it at exactly the right angle. I find if you take the reading 3 or 4 times, you can get a very different reading each time.

there is a new montessori called Little Fingers on barry rd, by corner of Goodrich rd, that has just opened or is just about to open, tho I'm not sure from what age they take. it may be from over 2.

Hi we have just bought the cheapest two screen one from the brand Logik that they sell in Currys in Brixton. It was about ?60 and It seems fine. One thing that confused me a bit about the 2 screen options is if they are labelled 'twin' then you can play one film on both screens, if they are labelled 'dual' then you could play a different film on each, tho whether you would want two dvds competing with each other in the back of a car is another question!

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > A former shop owner in the area once said to me "I > make money selling stuoid cushions to bored women > with too much money". think that statement says rather more about her life than her customers! Not what I'd aspire to have written on my headstone, put it that way.

Mrs TP Wrote: - > > > Every nursery seems to handle it differently and > some say along the lines of 'oh we like you to > wave it so we can plough the money back into the > nursery' - you don't have to agree. > Wow, does this actually happen in some nurseries? Audacious!

In a private nursery the discount doesn't work out to 15 hours per week as their hourly rate is more expensive and the 15 hours per week is calculated using term time only, not full time. Oh dear I'm not explaining that very well. Basically, in state nurseries and nurseries attached to schools it actually works out to 15 hours nursery free a week, if your child was attending private nursery from 8:00-6:00 all year round, for example say two days a week, i.e roughly 15 hours a week, and that came to roughly ?450 a month before the grant came into play, it would mean it would still come to ?250 a month with the grant taken into account. It amounts to a discount but not actually 15 hours a week at private nursery.

Shocked to hear of how you were treated today but relieved to hear you're seeing a doctor you trust tomorrow, please keep posting MrsS, we're all rooting for you x

Good luck at your appointment Mrs.S, hold your ground and don't leave without the medication you leave, you're doing brilliantly sorting this stuff out when you currently feel so grim, it's going to get better when you have the help and medication you need, glad you're taking your husband tomorrow.

Buds in Goose Green centre (in the church) currently has some spaces. At the moment they offer morning sessions between 9:00-1:00 and on weds they can stay until 3:30 if you wish. They plan to have this double session available on tuesdays and thursdays too, but not for a few months. They have children aged 2 and upwards. From age 3 your child would get 15 hours free there a week.

Yes we didn't start swaddling our daughter until I cottoned on to what a good thing it is when she was about 2 months! Then I think she was still swaddled for naps until about 5 months, but with first one arm, and then both arms out, using the miracle blanket, to get used to the sensation of not being swaddled.

There is a new nursery, Little Fingers Montessori on Barry Rd that has opened this week so should have spaces. Oak Tree on Tell Grove (just off East Dulwich Grove in the church) has spaces I think.

brilliant! Will follow!

This might sound a bit drastic but our daughter is also very resistant to her travel cot so rather than spending our last holiday in Devon taking hours every evening to try and get her down for the night, we used one of those companies that deliver and assemble a cot or cot bed to your cottage for the duration of your hols and then pick it up on the last day. I think it was about ?30 for 5 days and it was money well spent as we were able to relax in the evenings while our daughter went to sleep with no fuss in a cot bed which was familiar, rather than the 2 hour marathon that often happens if we try to get her down in a travel cot. Just had a quick google and think at least one these companies might cover Lake District http://www.rentingforrascals.co.uk/sections/sleeping.asp http://www.rentabuggy.co.uk/faqs.html

just done, hope they reach their target

Think the toyshop in the stationers in the village sells them too

My daughter's posterior tongue tie wasn't diagnosed until she was 6 months, we chose not to get her treated as I was about to stop breast-feeding anyway, plus I think it would be a very unpleasant procedure for a child that age (we were advised this as well as it being a gut feeling and it makes sense). In fact at Kings 6 months is the cut off point for offering the procedure partly for this reason. It won't make any difference in the long run, but had we had the diagnosis and procedure when she was a few days / weeks old, I wouldn''t have had such a nightmare breast feeding her, plus poor supply etc, so I think definitely worth it if found early. At 3 months if feeding is going ok I'm not sure I'd feel the need to have it done. You might also want to factor in how your child is sleeping, you need to wake them every couple of hours at night to saw on the wound with your finger to stop it healing over, which isn't an issue if a baby is a few days old as they're waking all night anyway, but if your child is sleeping well, it may be pretty unappealing to wake them to do this several times a night for a fortnight.

thanks all, that's useful to know

cross post with Londonmix there..