BellendenBear

Can anyone recommend any play groups or activities to take a 2.5 year old to on Thursday mornings? Ideally I would like to tire her out ready for a good nap post-lunch. Needs to be somewhere where I can also bring new baby. I have been trying to find the link from the Southwark website for their activities leaflets (called 'What's On' or something like that?) but have failed. Can anyone help? Thanks

My daughter has been going to nursery since she was 7 months old, and she has always been very happy there. Baby rooms tend to be quite small and each baby will have a key carer who knows them the best. I have never felt that she lacked attention or affection. I think the choice of nursery/child minder/nanny depends on the temperament of the individual child and what will suit you and your work pattern. There isn't a right or wrong choice. Nurseries do tend to have long waiting lists although they often seem to offer a place much quicker than they say one will be available. I guess because lots of people have their name on several lists or end up using an alternative. My daughter is now at her second nursery and neither have asked us to commit to a minimum time period. Good luck. Visit a few nurseries and you will soon get a feel for whether it is right for your child.

I can't believe that this thread turned so nasty back there. Quite ironic that a thread that should have been about women sharing experiences and supporting each other turned into an excuse to criticise and highlight each other's inadequacies.

They can have the booster from 15 months if they have the first one at 12 months.

leta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > where is Victoria In?:)) Bellenden Road

There was an article in the NCT magazine a few months ago about how your relationship with your Mum can change after having children. It was all about how the relationship got stronger and more empathic now that you both had the shared experience of motherhood. It made me feel even worse about the state of my own relationship with my Mum since having my daughter 2 years ago. I am relieved to find out that it is not just me! When my Mum visits it is usually for several days, and I very quickly revert to grunting mono-syllabic teenager mode. I just can't help it. I find criticism in everything that she says. Some of this is no doubt me being over sensitive, but there is a legitimate basis for how I feel. Following the birth of my first daughter she was openly critical about just about everything - from nasty comments about how I still looked fat/pregnant 12 hours after giving birth to slagging off our choice of name to anyone who would listen, making very derogatory comments about its social standing despite it being a family name from Mr BB's side. On our first night home from hospital she said that we did not know what we were doing and were not fit to be parents! She was very stressed at the time but has never apologised for her behaviour. I feel a lot of resentment for this but for some reason can not talk to her about it. My second daughter was born 3 weeks ago. My mum came to stay for a week to help out with my eldest daughter who adores her. However, my Mum constantly undermines us. She is much softer than we are and does not set any boundaries, is keen to let her stay up late and does not back us up with any of the sanctions that we impose if she misbehaves. Consequently my daughter's behaviour deteriorates and Mr BB and I feel like we are constantly having to tell her off and say 'no' to her. And so by the time she leaves, stress levels are very high and I can barely speak to her. And then after she's gone I feel guilty that I should have made more effort, yet I get the impression that she doesn't have any insight into the problem and doesn't give it a second thought. A couple of days later she rings to try to schedule her next visit or to drop strong hints about joining us on our summer holiday! So, sorry to highjack this thread, but I too would like some advice. There seems to be a pattern of antagonistic, overly critical, love-hate relationships between females on my Mum's side of the family. I worry that unless I am able to break this cycle then I am destined to have equally dysfunctional relationships with my own 2 daughters. Does anyone have experience of relationship counselling for this type of problem and can it work if only one party has the counselling? I am hoping that eventually I would be able to talk to my Mum about how I feel, but the first step might be some guidance in how to approach this without things sliding into critical parent / stroppy child mode.

Congratulations D! Some really big babies are popping out. Anyone else had a girl yet? Can we meet next week? Didn't make it last week as the midwife wanted to visit, and I had cancelled our last 2 appointments.

Hadn't even thought about it! Have been using my Avent pump from 2 years ago. I use the manual one though which I find much easier than the electric one, and the whole thing can be sterilised.

Sounds good. The dog-free bit of the Park with picnic tables is called the Arboretum. See you there.

I can't do this week. Have managed to keep most family/visitors away for over a week but can not stall them any longer. Count us in for next time though.

Hooray! A home birth hat-trick. Congratulations Yak. Boy or girl? Hang in there Alexa, you'll be sleep deprived soon enough x

Finally, I have a baby! After making me wait for 10 days, she didn't mess around when she finally decided to make her appearance. Very speedy labour resulting in water birth at home yesterday morning. Look forward to catching up soon. Good luck to those that are still waiting.

There's an Easter Egg hunt in Crystal Palace Park on Sunday.

Sorry if this sounds negative, but I would agree with those above who have advised you to prepare as much as possible for coping with a hospital birth. I am very much pro-home birth and choice, (currently 41 and a bit weeks and desperately hoping for one myself) but surely safety must be a priority. All the evidence to support home births as a safe option focus on uncomplicated pregnancies; having raised BP is not uncomplicated for you or the baby. I think your BP is the issue rather than being post-caesarian.

The Consultant who the Brierley team work with is called Mr Marsh. I am seeing him next week for something very different, but the MWs assure me that he is very supportive and respectful of your decisions and more willing than most to deviate from protocol. It might be worth asking the Brierley to make an appointment for you. I also think it would be a good idea to get a referral to perinatal psych. I am a GP, and given your history I don't think there should be any difficulty in you being seen on NHS. Each GP, midwife or Health Visitor will have varying expertise in this area depending on their individual training and special interests. As you know the Brierley team are very experienced in perinatal mental health. Even if there is a delay in you being seen by the Psychiatrist, your GP can easily get advice from them by phone/Email if needed. And as has already been mentioned, there are antidepressants which are safe when breast feeding, so if you are keen to BF don't let this put you off. Good luck - I look forward to reading about your relaxed, quick and easy home birth in a few months time!

My surgery provide little bags which stick onto the skin over their bits and catch the wee. Cotton wool sounds like a good idea though.

Don't think I can do tomorrow. Swimming in the morning then seeing midwife in afternoon (1 week late now). Like Yak I will be around on Monday I expect! Sorry we missed you Mrs F, would have been lovely to meet your baby.

Snowboarder, I could possible do Friday (unless I have a baby of course, something which I have just about given up on). I am still a bit traumatised from waddle-chasing my runaway toddler across Peckham Rye last week and trying to carry her, bag, football, dolly in pram etc to get to my midwife appointment. But I will give it a go, perhaps more effectively as a baby watcher rather than toddler chaser. Or perhaps they behave better in packs? Will also be at the Wooden Circle thing tomorrow, weather permitting.

Well done Mrs F! He really kept you waiting to the last second. So glad (and jealous) that you got your home birth.

I'm still impatiently pregnant and would be keen to meet for coffee. Not sure of the name of the new cafe, something electrical? Where Barry Road meets the Rye I think.

Crocs are good for wide feet in hot weather. You can get them quite cheap on-line (shudoo.co.uk). I got a pair of 'Mary Jane' (slightly more feminine) crocs for my wide footed daughter for about ?7.

I'll see you there. At the cafe? If the weather is nice I'll get toddler from nursery first so may be a little bit late.

Coffee in the afternoon or later in the week sound good. Anyone else? Mrs F, I will PM my number.

Does anyone fancy catching up for coffee/lunch tomorrow or later this week?

The most likely reason for blood in urine is infection. If you can face getting another sample after she finishes the antibiotics, you can always check again to make sure it has cleared.