Things that annoy me about the North....

[Keef]

Whitby is ace.

Anyway, when I went to uni, I remember meeting this nice lad from Yorkshire, he was gay as a daffodil, so ha had some issues with the locals back home. Anyway, he asked me one day, had I been brought up to hate northerners?. I said "what?". He said, he'd actually been told all his life that southerners were horrible. I said that to be honest, I'd never given them any thought. That in itself may not be a good thing, but I thought it was an interesting conversaiton, which has stayed with me.

I do get annoyed when my scouse friends tell me that I must have it so easy because I live down here in London. All of them have afforded to buy their own houses. I probably never will.

[Narnia]

Orange Order Marches.

[daizie]

Grew up here, teenagers i knew in the 80's would take the p1ss out of anyone who wore ankle swingers or unfashionable clothes by saying ' You're a Northerner'. It seemed anything from The North was not seen as anything to aspire to at the time .

[Jeremy]

The Buzzcocks

The Smiths

The Beatles

The Specials (Coventry is up north, right?)

Cheap booze

Cheap houses

Gazza trying to save Moaty

Chips with everything

Inexplicable rivalries between every "major" city

The north has some redeeming qualities.

But the "talking on the bus" thing is very strange.

[kpc]

>

> The north has some redeeming qualities.

Add Balti to the list.

>

> But the "talking on the bus" thing is very

> strange.

Even stranger, saying "Thank you" to the driver when getting off the bus.

[Jeremy]

kpc Wrote:

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> Add Balti to the list.

Hell yeah, if Birmingham isn't up north, I don't know where is.

> Even stranger, saying "Thank you" to the driver when getting off the bus.

I heard someone say that once on the 176. Stunned silence swept the lower deck.

[ruffers]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> Fred E True Man.

> People on Bargain Hunt who, when informed by 'The

> Timster' Wonacott that they have spent a paltry

> amount of cash, invariably chorus "Well we're from

> Yorkshire", as though that was reason enough for

> their tightfistedness.

I'm from the North and trust me, Yorkshire caricatures are as annoying to those from the other side of the Pennines as they are down here.

As for saying "thank you" on the 176 I think that might have been me.

[expat]

you can always tell a yorkshire man you just can't tell him very much *taboom*

[HonaloochieB]

Freddie Trueman walks into a Yorkshire pub.

Public bar of course, he'll have no truck wi' jessies in't saloon. Not Fred.

Barman - Evenin' sir what'll you have?

Fred - I'll 'ave a Campari and soda.

Barman - Sorry sir, we're right out of soda and our Campari supplier broke a finger this week, so we've nowt left. Sadly.

Fred - No matter, I'll tek a sloe gin.

Barman - Would you believe it, sir, Edith who supplies us with our sloe gin has took bad with her chest. Terrible bad I'm lead to understand, we've had no sloe gin this past two month.

Fred - Well, poor Edith I'm sure. Alright I'll have a large schooner of dry sherry.

Barman - Oh sir, I wish you hadn't asked for large and dry. How would small and sweet suit?

Fred - I an't turned nancy boy yet. Gi' us a drop o' absinthe, burn it up wi' sugar an all. Aye proper green fairy.

Barman - Would you Adam and believe it, sir? The police turned up this morning and confiscated our last bottle. Said something about it being a pathway drug.

Fred - Bloody filth. Alright, I'll have a snowball.

Barman - I can't begin to tell you about how badly the Advocaat drought has hit us, you wouldn't imagine...

Fred - Alright, alright, I tell thee what I'll have a pint of thy best bitter and 'ave done wi' it.

Barman - Has't not 'eard about our drayman's leg. Been playing him up proper cruel so it has, not had a delivery in weeks.

Fred - so what has tha got, theer?

Barman - Well there's lager.

Fred - Lissen thee, I might spend time down in't Lords cricket ground London, but don't go mistaking me for some swishy ponce. I'm off to drink me own piss, so I am.

I'll bid thee good day.

Barman - Blimey, wait 'til I tell the boss we had that Albert Finney in!

[katie1997]

HonaloochieB, this got me thinking.......where are Doreen and Stan when you need them?

And if you ask me, which you didn't, but I will pontificate anyway...it seems like Edith's chest 'problems' are suspiciously like Ken's. Just a trifling observation mind.

*retreats to the snug*

[DJKillaQueen]

hmmm..all I can say is...'yates wine lodge' don't have sawdust on the floor for no reason in Liverpool.......*flashbacks to one to many snakebites aged 17* :)-D

[HonaloochieB]

katie1997 Wrote:

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> HonaloochieB, this got me thinking.......where are

> Doreen and Stan when you need them?

>

> And if you ask me, which you didn't, but I will

> pontificate anyway...it seems like Edith's chest

> 'problems' are suspiciously like Ken's. Just a

> trifling observation mind.

>

>

> *retreats to the snug*

A'll tell thee this KatieNumbers and A'll tell thee na more...

Actually if it's OK I'll stop talking Northern for the time being, doesn't half give a fellow jaw-ache, don't know how anyone manages it full-time.

Doreen and Stan went off for a cheap holiday and are currently stranded sur le continent as Jimmy Young used to have it.

And of course you're correct about the co-incidence of Edith and Ken's chest problems.

Though Edith probably wouldn't like the comparison much, given Ken's hirsuteness and general lack of muscle tone.

Edith is a stickler for waxing and practically a martyr to the gym, so much so that her SO Jim says "That walnut-looking booger down at 'Buns Of Steel' has 'ad more intimacy wi' thee in't last three month than I've 'ad this last six year".

But that's Jim for you.

But you're correct, this could be a disturbing trend concerning people connected to the pub trade and pulmonary difficulties.

I think I'll write a piece for The Lancet.

How does 'Having a Bit of a Chest in the Licensed Victuallers Racket' sound as a title?

Though truth be told I still reckon Ken's putting it on a bit.

[jollybaby]

Hey I'm a southerner and grew up saying thank you to the driver when getting off the bus . . . I still do if I pass the driver on my way out - shouting from the back of the 12 probably wouldn't go down so well though.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

So sorry to hear Doreen and Stan are incontinent. Hope they're not having trouble with their optics too.

[HonaloochieB]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

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> So sorry to hear Doreen and Stan are incontinent.

> Hope they're not having trouble with their optics

> too.

Doreen and Stan are of course losing it to a certain extent, I mean who wouldn't be stuck in the continent?

However, they can rest assured that Ken is looking out for their 'top shelf'.

His 'chest' doesn't preclude that much at least.

Though I'm slightly suspicious about the matter.

Still.

[DJKillaQueen]

Now bus drivers are definitely more wreckless in London that they are up North. Driving through red lights and all that. Don't know if they are bad accross the South though. I supect it's only a London thing.

So I always say thank you to the bus drivers when I go to my home town and never say thank you to them in London.

[brum]

Nice people up North, nice people down south. Horrible folk up north, horrible folk down south. So, is there really any difference?

My only observation: up North, people have more time for other people - hence the 'thank you driver' and so on. Which is really nice. Bostin, in fact.

[katie1997]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> Edith is a stickler for waxing and practically a

> martyr to the gym, so much so that her SO Jim says

> "That walnut-looking booger down at 'Buns Of

> Steel' has 'ad more intimacy wi' thee in't last

> three month than I've 'ad this last six year".

> But that's Jim for you.

I have just worked out what SO stands for (I'm better at TLA's btw).

Anyway, this made me laugh, my ex-boss from years ago used to complain about being 'harrassed' by an american "co-worker" who regularly invited him around to her house to workout to a video* with this very name....

> I think I'll write a piece for The Lancet.

> How does 'Having a Bit of a Chest in the Licensed

> Victuallers Racket' sound as a title?

I look forward to next month's edition, I am sure your article will pass peer review stage with extra funding too.

> Though truth be told I still reckon Ken's putting

> it on a bit.

me too.

* i know, i know, there's a different thread for words like that.

[red devil]

This weeks stereotypical wind-up thread...'All black people have got rhythm...discuss'

[Jeremy]

red devil Wrote:

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> This weeks stereotypical wind-up thread...'All

> black people have got rhythm...discuss'

They do, it's true. TonyLondonSuburbs said so. "Natural rhythm", in fact.

[Brendan]

The OPs got a point though. Watford?s horrible.

[RosieH]

You know what annoys me about the north: the fact that thanks to the BBC, it's going to be overrun with great soft southern media ponces

[EDKiwi]

DJKillaQueen Wrote:

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> Now bus drivers are definitely more wreckless in

> London that they are up North. Driving through red

> lights and all that. Don't know if they are bad

> accross the South though. I supect it's only a

> London thing.

It's probably a London thing, I work in various bus garages around London, in the last week alone I have seen a driver reverse a bus into a wall, and another into my car (only scratched the bumper luckly)...apparently he didn't see the car even though he walked past it to get to the bus (and to be fair one of the managers had just warned me to move it 'cos these drivers are idiots').

[Bluerevolution]

Always say thanks to bus drivers, fel embarrassd when pulling a pint with no head, wtf is it about Londoners not wanting a froth? I'm a Manc and proud of it

[EDKiwi]

Because we don't pay London prices for froth and air :)-D