Dulwich Hamlet

[Huguenot]

They're playing at home this Saturday 20th Jan against Sittingbourne. 3pm KO.

We managed a crowd of over 500 last match, a seasonal record, so it would be great to beat it this weekend.

Dulwich Hamlet are sitting tentatively at the top of the table but it's all painfully close... http://www.dulwichhamletfc.co.uk/league-table.php especially as Dartford have got a game in hand.

Sittingbourne are squatting just outside the play-off spots, but with two games in hand over the Pink and Blues. It'll be a tight well-fought match seasoned with enough keystone kop moments to entertain the hardiest footballing cynic.

For ditherers not sure whether to commit or not, it's often possible to recover your ticket-gate investment by running a sweepstake amongst friends on how many balls disappear ne'er to be found over the wall into the adjacent backgardens. Record last year was 8, but numbers have been lower this season.

There's also fantastic burgers of indeterminate origin and a half-time bar with footie results from around the nation. If you squint a little it's better than a corporate box at Upton Park. Bring your own prawn sandwiches.

For the more aesthetically motivated, the strip is very attractive, the thighs firm and the sexuality raw..

This is our prolific striker Chris Dickson...

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/137/360734235_bb1211a1af_m.jpg

[mockney piers]

-I'm already there......

-Sorry?

-Err, I mean yes.

[Keef]

I'm well up for that. Ashamed to say I haven't made it down all season. I'll dig out my shirt (Away - white with pink and blue trim) and get down there!

[Mark]

I've never been to a Hamlet's game but wil be up for going this this Saturday for the first time. Could someone please give me, and any others who are reading this and want something worthwhile to do this saturday, an idiots guide... How much, place to meet before etc

[Huguenot]

Alrighty..

Head to Sainsbury, left at the lights on Champion Hill etc., and as you're (quite literally) about to swerve right into Sainsbury's carpark instead head left into the football ground carpark.

There, upon locking your vehicle if you have one :) step through the only turnstile at a cost of 7.50 sterling into a fabulous world of football. The world's your oyster: the covered stand on your right isn't ticket allocated, so take the best seats available. The mighty opposition contingent (all ten of them) will generally grab a terraces view behind one or other of the goals. Usual zoo rules apply: don't feed 'em.

The stand's great, as it's covered it's good for watching come rain or shine!

As the game commences, settle and start barracking. Try to do this gently at first, and follow the mood of the crowd. If they start victimising a member of the opposition with unusual physical characteristics, look about you with concern in the first instance and then quietly follow suit. If you do this right, by the middle of the second half the victim will have developed a potty mouth, which means you've won. If you start to say anything rude and you realise the crowd's gone silent, just turn it into a theatrical sneeze - it doesn't do to get isolated.

If you find yourself supporting the opposition and give an involuntary cheer when they offer an unsuccesful shot, don't worry - pretend you were cheering an effective defensive manoeuver. If you're caught out by the goal going in, punch your thigh saying 'yisss', stand up and repeat the action 'yisss...yisss...' as you leave the ground retiring to the Black Cherry wearing a hat, and then call a cab.

The half-time bar is accessible through the eastern (carpark) end of the upper tier of the grandstand, so it's easiest to mozy up there a couple of minutes before the half time whistle to be at the bar at the earliest opportunity. They have a temporary down-tools for the last 25mins of the game. In the bar they've got a couple of big screens to give you the heads up on half-time footie elsewhere.

Coffee, tea and burgers etc. are served throughout the game from a ground-floor doorway underneath the east end of the stadium (beneath the entrance to the bar).

After the game it's generally considered right and proper to resolve the most contentious issues at the bar of the Vale. Unless you're barred (Mockney). The teams might even rock up so you can offer performance-based niggles. They're also great with kids there (the barstaff, not the teams).

After having thus filled their dance-card, those in their twenties can retreat to the scrimmage in the EDT and beyond!

There's not usually a lot of before game boozing, as it's quite healthy entertainment, but I guess die-hards could go to the Vale as well.

Beyond all that, it's just brilliant, have a great time! No real rules, it's only what you make it! ;-)

[Huguenot]

Oh, and no brawling, if you or your kids accidentally niggle a fellow supporter say 'Sorry, yeah, but for crissakes, [the opposition] have had an up and down season, I was hoping for Dickson to give us another hat-trick today, he must have had almost twenty this season...? Shut UP Barry.... I'll calm him down...'

Chris Dickson looks like this:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/137/360734235_bb1211a1af_m.jpg

[mockney piers]

In short, Vale (except for me) or EDT are usual meet-ups, which are rare as people don't seem to get out of bed before 2 on a saturday. I think it's 7 quid to get in. Bovril, sausages in a french stick (i kid you not) and burgers are cheap but of indeterminate origin.

Songs on the terrace would be great but are sadly rare. I haven't heard much since the famous 'french' FA cup tie against margate with the frankly surreal

'Tuscany.... Tuscany... We're Dulwich on th Hill and it's just like Tuscanyyyyy' But of course I may have misheard.

Half time beers are cheap and an opportunity to catch up with the footie scores, and now the white paint has been scraped from the windows you can drink your pint at your own pace in warmth and comfort, and pretend you're at an Upton Park Corporate do. Beware of heckling from passing Fisher Athletic fans however.

Thence back to the scrum for some more shouting, and collect your winnings on the 'balls out of the ground' sweepstake.

I believe CrystalClear set down the rules somewhere, be nice if he could post them up again, complete with diagrams.

Mockney '2 kidneys' Piers

[CrystalClear]

I'll be joining you in the edt Mr Two Bleedin Kidneys! I shall look into the rules (though I fear I may have missplaced the originals and may have to do a redraft.

Go Chris Dickson

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/137/360734235_bb1211a1af.jpg?v=0

[all_star]

I'll be there too! Only started going this season - not a glory-hunter honest ;-)

Think the Gowlett is quite popular before/after too.

[mockney piers]

Sounds like quite a crowd. Yes forgot about the Gowlett, nice pub as it goes, and the last remaining pool table in the area?

If ever catches sight of this thread, I believe justifiably has the right to feel more than a tad disturbed!

[Quaywe]

Anyone interested in the fact that Chris Dickson also is a kiwi sailor racing for America's Cup Team BMW Oracle.

http://www.nzedge.com/newzedge/newzedge_clare/images/chris_dickson.jpg

Anyone, anyone, Bueller?

[Huguenot]

Nope

[all_star]

Will http://farm1.static.flickr.com/137/360734235_bb1211a1af_t.jpg be playing? I heard he was injured.

[CrystalClear]

I'm a big fan of Chris Dickson. Talkshow host, author and former senator.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a253/ChrisDicksonSr/CHRISTREE.jpg

[Mark]

Thanks for clearing that up, I thought it may have been Chris Dickinson, Fifth-year graduate student in Psychology, Long Island University with an M.A. in Experimental Psychology also from Long Island Universityhttp://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/gzelinsky-/images/Chris_thumb.jpg. If you look at his picture and close your eyes an use some imagination there could be a similarity to the Chris Dickson http://farm1.static.flickr.com/137/360734235_bb1211a1af_t.jpgMaybe not.

[Mark]

I've managed to persuade my neighbour, a Baggies man, to come along too.

I feel it's going to be a good afternoon.

[mockney piers]

Brilliant, looks like quite a crowd headed down. Let's hope it's a good'un.

oh, just one more:

CHRIS DICKSON

 

[CrystalClear]

21 year-old striker who was signed at the beginning of March 2006 on loan from Erith & Belvedere.

Quick and with an eye for goal, he netted 6 times in just 6 appearances last term and has maintained his astonishing record of a goal a game including a hat-trick in the midweek 8-1 demolition of Godalming Town. Won the Golden Boots Award

(Sponsored by Redeye Sports Management in association with the Professional Footballers Association) for August/September with 9 League goals.

Who, I hear you cry. Why, it's our very own http://www.dulwichhamletfc.co.uk/Images/Chris%20Dickson.jpg

[Huguenot]

I heard rumours that Chris may be injured as well - is there anyone out there who can help us resolve this disquieting canard?

[Jamma]

Can help you on the Chris Dickson front but recommend all and sundry get to Champion Hill. I been going for a few years now. Francis Quarm's London Senior Cup semi-final goal against Ford United a few years back is the best goal I ever seen - it was like Ronaldinho's in the 2002 World Cup.

Couple of pointers for those going to lovely Champion Hill. The clue is in the name of the ground, it's up a hill so can get a bit breezy. Wrap up warm! And don't swear. There was a marginally mental bloke there one week swearing about Chelsea and he got brickbats off the crowd. If you sit on the right hand side of the crowd there's often 3 old geezers up the back of the stand who make brilliant comments and laugh in a top old man way. They can be just as entertaining as the game sometimes.

Pink Army!

[Huguenot]

Mockney, any chance you can do us a match report??

[mockney piers]

i'll take my notepad down, as recently there have been too many goals for me to remember all the details

[beatnic]

According to this news story on the DHFC website...

Both sides have their injury worries with both the Hamlet's and the Brickies' leading scorers sidelined; Sittingbourne's Andy Doerr with a broken leg and Dulwich's Chris Dickson with a chipped bone.

Do many children go? I was wondering about taking my son along.

[Huguenot]

Yep, plenty of kids kicking around footballs on the sidelines ;-) .

[beatnic]

:)