A story

[waynetta]

Ivor Biggun has been busy and has been working on the perfect crime. The crime of the century in fact. He has been hanging out with dysfunctional teenagers and wickedly throwing bottles and eggs at peoples windows.

[DJKillaQueen]

And booking DH for parties that go on till 4 am with MCing and all that init.....

[computedshorty]

The crowd was thick at the scene of the accident I pushed my way through, has the ambulance been called? No. reaching under the lorry the unfortunate Traffic Warden had been forced into the empty spare wheel rack but could not get free. Help me he pleaded, not wishing to feel the wrath of the crowd, I placed his wardens cap on his head and pencil behind his ear.

[DJKillaQueen]

Meanwhile the party was in full swing at DH when the call came. 'Your dad is under a lorry and it doesn't look good!'

Ivor Bigun raced to the scene.....

(well someone had to link the last two posts somehow)

[woofmarkthedog]

Trust me..

http://www.zoogstercostumes.com/images/products/ra7265_xl.jpg " I'm a Doctor "

* film loops out *

" ACTION "

W**F

[HAL9000]

A grim quiet descended upon the partygoers, apart from a small group of grumpy Cougars comparing the aphrodisiac qualities of accordion-cut meerkats, kiwi fruit, shaved pubes, bleached butt-holes and plain bagels.

[woofmarkthedog]

& the lottery ?

[katie1997]

And the partygoers were horrified to read the headline news on the local forum the next day (whilst nursing hangovers they never expected, having previously vowed to stick to soda and lime)...

"Well-known, witty, local character (insert irrelevant detail eg. age) found unconscious in local car park, torch discarded. Pieces of a smashed rice cooker have been found nearby. Investigation underway to find out if there is a connection. No further details can be revealed at this stage."

[karter]

this local character was found unconscious after dogging in the local car park and looked he like a very arty type. Rice cooker pieces found going from Peckham Rye car park and up Barry rd...

[computedshorty]

the local who was found unconscious had been disposing of pruned branches from a nieghbours trees, he had now started to dig to see if the roots extend fron Reckham Rye to his home, he is halfway up Barry Road and stopped to cook some rice but it was unwashed and he became ill, should he name the retailer?

[Narnia]

This isn't leading to a title like 'The Grapes of Wrath' by any chance?

[DJKillaQueen]

Tesco express deny any knowledge of having sold rice to anyone.......

[katie1997]

DJKillaQueen Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Tesco express deny any knowledge of having sold

> rice to anyone.......at 22.50 hours. Perhaps they are taking their rice licensing laws seriously?

The clouds darkened over the ED skies....

[DJKillaQueen]

meanwhile less than a mile away, Ladymuck had taken leave of her senses and decided to run naked up Lordship Lane......

[computedshorty]

lady decided to run naked down Lordship Lane pauses to sit for a moment on my front wall where my pet hedgehog is lying in the sun, a screem of pain and she wont sit down there again, was last seen trying to absorb blood with dried leaves, reminds me of Eve wearing a fig leaf, dont worry she's now reported nearly home behind the football ground replacing leaves as she goes.

[Ladymuck]

The real Ladymuck is in the Drawing Room being ticked off by the Chair (again!). Therefore, one can only assume that this shameless exhibitionist is not in fact her Ladyship but, an imposter - a suspected "j russell". The real LM immediately alerts ED Police to "Eve" and has her arrested for indecent exposure and thrown into a cell overnight. LM also appoints Legalbeagle to take legal proceedings jointly against both That Queen and CS in respect of the false and damaging allegations.

[????]

LadyMuck's not very fast at running down roads

[Ladymuck]

And Quids, whilst marginally faster at sprinting, has a record of allowing his trousers to fall down when racing...ED police are quickly diverted to now arrest Quids - now prime suspect. Woofmarkthedog is to accompany them because they have received information that Quids has had one too many Stellas.

[DJKillaQueen]

Unfortunately The Queen can not be prosecuted as she is head of state and instead sends LM and her lawyer LB to the Tower.....whilst pardoning CS on the spot and knighting Quids for his services to speaking the truth....

[DJKillaQueen]

....and stella.

[katie1997]

and they all live happily ever after.

The End

[????]

Sir Quids....I'm liking it

[Ladymuck]

Yeah - it will sounds like "squids" after a couple of stellas

[HAL9000]

Meanwhile, in one of many Everett-Wheeler alternative realities, a young superposition of our heroine was gently caressing a kiwi fruit...

[DJKillaQueen]

Having finished the book Grandma gave her she picks up the one she got from the library that afternoon.

'Sir Quids and the Deficit Dragon Slayer'

We can begin....

Once upon a time there was an evil Prime Minister called Mr Cameron whose mission was to rid the land of the poor by throwing them out of their homes, taking away their child benefits and starving them to death........