Bible pushers

[louisiana]

I've had three lots in less than a week, hammering on the door when I'm trying to write. (I can't not answer the door as I have several deliveries expected.) Different sects, with the usual daft games to get a foot in the door ("You don't know why I'm here so you don't know that you don't want to talk to me" wtf).

Is there a sign or something I can put up to put them off darkening my door? I'm getting really fed up with them.

[skidmarks]

An upside down cross nailed to your front door should put them off

[dita-on-tees]

Buy a nun's outfit and wear it to answer the door - they will assume there is nothing more they can say. They are remarkably comfortable, and roomy after a substantial boozy lunch.

[HAL9000]

Apparently, a small mezuzah holder attached to the door post will repel most evangelising Christian sects.

[Brendan]

Assuming your average evangelisticist knows what a mezuzah holder is.

Although if it was inscribed, ?Please read the enclosed note.? and the mezuzah read, ?Do one goddy.?

[edcam]

Invite them in to watch some gay porn.

[louisiana]

Good one edcam, but my aim is to stop them getting as far as ringing the doorbell/hammering on the door.

I had thought maybe a sign saying 'residence of the Bishop of Southwark' (remember him? ) or perhaps 'Quaker Meeting House' (and I'm actually quite fond of the Quakers), but I, like Brendan, suspect that their general education would not have reached as far as any understanding of other faiths.

Perhaps some sort of porch installation that would cause them to turn tail in terror?

[ST&NLY]

We need a public burning! Burn Burn Burn da rug

[louisiana]

Maybe I need a Green River Ordinance.

[Jah Lush]

Get yourself and intercom system. Excellent for security and you can then tell them or anyone else you don't want to see or speak to to feck off without even opening the door. Job done.

[dita-on-tees]

A nice picture of Ron Jeremy in all his glory, I suspect just looking at the man might provoke the most sensitive and wholsesome of souls off to cleanse themselves through prayer. It would give your postie a laugh too.

[Narnia]

We used to regularly get Spanish speaking JW's on our doorstep. The JW's must have met my Spanish other half on some occasion she opened the door and decided to bombard her with people who speak in her tongue(s)! I never opened the door but just looked through the peephole and listened.

I don't know why they bother looking for new recruits as I always thought they believed there was only a limited space in heaven. If they've got the key then you'd think they want to keep quiet about it.

[skidmarks]

Print this out and put it on your door

http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/09/08/alg_resize_pastor_terry-jones.jpg

[dita-on-tees]

Hmm arent the more evangelical types likely to think this man a perfectly sane and rational being....

[louisiana]

Maybe what I need is a burnt effigy of a so-called religious leader

[DJKillaQueen]

Embed an axe in your door, paint the slogan 'Abandon hope all ye that enter here' above it and run a trail of fake blood to the gate. They'll not come within a mile.

[DJKillaQueen]

Or failing that, put a brass plaque on the gate that reads as follows.

'National Centre for Satanic Worship and Witchcraft'

[Jah Lush]

Luckily enough for me when they coming calling at my door and I can be arsed to open it they just have to take one look at me and know instantly that I am beyond redemption.

[DJKillaQueen]

I had JWs knocking at my door for ages and I never answered. Then one day they caught me going in......all it took was to tell them Darwinian evolution happened and they've never bothered me since. True story.

I think sometimes they target you until you give them a reason not to.

[dita-on-tees]

I just didnt bother to change the battery in my door bell 3 years ago. works for me, its not as if the postman delivers parcels.

[Narnia]

They can be persistent Jah but nothing a cup of tea wont resolve

Jah Lush Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Luckily enough for me when they coming calling at

> my door and I can be arsed to open it they just

> have to take one look at me and know instantly

> that I am beyond redemption.

[louisiana]

DJKillaQueen Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I had JWs knocking at my door for ages and I never

> answered. Then one day they caught me going

> in......all it took was to tell them Darwinian

> evolution happened and they've never bothered me

> since. True story.

>

> I think sometimes they target you until you give

> them a reason not to.

It's a different lot ever time

[computedshorty]

I sometimes give them a few moments with questions such as:

Why was there No Lifeboats on the Ark?

How much food was taken with them?

Who cleared up all the muck in the mornings.

Who bailed out the bilge water?

Did Noah wear Wellingtons?

Did he have a Telescope?

Was he a member of EDF?

[binary_star]

We never normally get people knocking and wanting to *talk* but we always get the damn leaflets...if I'm in (rare) I chase them back down the street and let them know that the "No junk mail" sticker applies to Christian junk mail as well. Bloody litter bugs.

Have just realised I have too much time on my hands as well :D

[louisiana]

DJKillaQueen Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Or failing that, put a brass plaque on the gate

> that reads as follows.

>

> 'National Centre for Satanic Worship and

> Witchcraft'

I'm liking the idea of a witchy installation, complete with hat and broomstick. Perhaps holding a water pistol to be operated remotely B)