Blueskye Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Hi there! Does anyone have recommendations for either pre marriage (non religious) counselling and first dance companies in this area or SE? Thanks Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Some advice from my friends and family ie 100s of years of experienceOptions are 1. Don't get married 2. Go polyamorous marriage3. Live like a VictorianIMHO You should both watch this before you go and see a counselor Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076491 Share on other sites More sharing options...
rendelharris Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Good God.No recommendations I'm afraid but I'd like to take the liberty of wishing you the very best of luck as a counterbalance to the previous. Best thing I ever did, don't know if the Mrs agrees of course... Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076492 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 rendelharris Sounds like you have a Victorian marriage moneys on the Mrs shagging her tennis coach or someone through workIf not you're one in a million ... ;) Romantics it starts out all Mills and Boon and ends up in court with a big legal bill. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076510 Share on other sites More sharing options...
rendelharris Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 You're not really very nice, are you? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076513 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 What's nice someone who tells you everything is fairytales or someone who tells you the Truth?Did you watch the youtube video I linked? Here it is again Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076524 Share on other sites More sharing options...
rendelharris Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Your truth is not everyone's. Blueskye, apologies for hijacking, I shall leave this alone now - once again the very best of luck and ignore the haters. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076526 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 I'm not a hater I'm a realist.If you're going to commit yourself to a voluntary life sentence then it's best to go into it with your eyes wide open,, the OP appears to understand that wanting pre marriage councilling is a great idea,,, they appreciate it's probably better not to leave it to luck..Really hope they are happy ever after, for that outcome many factors need consideration I'm only offering a realistic route to getting all those factors out in the open.Maybe watch the youtube video before you assume ? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076530 Share on other sites More sharing options...
clockworkorange Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Bore off pop... Go big and original on the first dance. Dont go mushy. Show your personality in it. We had a jungle track. We smashed it. Everybody loved it and remembers it.Premarriage counselling- they become the person you proposed to/agreed to Marry about 30seconds after you say "I do". Dont panic just yet if you're fearing the wedding planning has changed them! They'll return to normal... Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076622 Share on other sites More sharing options...
malleymoo Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 Blue Skye. There is a local company Just Dance who I would recommend. They do wedding dances as well as run some fantastic Zumba and Dance classes locally. Fi and Dommie are creative and really good at nurturing less experienced dancers. This is the website address http://justdanceuk.com/ Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076627 Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnie Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 No, you're a hater Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076640 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 johnie Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> No, you're a haterHave you even watched the video I linked to?It's not hateful or boring it's real fun and ends on in positive way.Calling me hater is hatefully.. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076642 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl Aelfheah Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 He really wants you to watch the video Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076668 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 Yep it's good.Everyone should watch it. :) It's free too. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076716 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl Aelfheah Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 I am not sure you've watched it tbh. He commends marriage, and is rather dismissive of polyamory..Just suggests people understand the trade offs, are self aware, realistic in their expectations and good humoured. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076727 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jah Lush Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076767 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 I'm not recommending any of the three options I listed, I'm recommending a video :)As a first step before spending money on pre marriage counselling. My view is marriage was invented at a time when peoples life expectancy was low 30ish years, doesn't really match with todays reality. Imho But if you're going to do it may as well be fully armed with the reality of the romantic delusion. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076787 Share on other sites More sharing options...
malumbu Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 I'll watch the whole thing another time.From my perspective much of it is driven by endorphins early in a relationship. Difficult to keep that going all your life!Here's a nice clipwww.youtube.com/watch?v=S_kI5Xh4zxoI hope I haven't offended anyone, not this time at least! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076850 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl Aelfheah Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 He's right about Morrissey and Bach. Embrace your melancholy. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076935 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl Aelfheah Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 Everything he says is common sense. I think he actually does your average person a massive disservice in thinking they're more naive than is the case Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1076943 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grok Posted November 27, 2016 Share Posted November 27, 2016 If you need pre-marriage counselling, (Lordy, whatever next), then do not get married, simple as that. Sorts out the first dance 'dilemma'!As for a jungle track dance being "smashed" and "remembered", well I am utterly sure it was.. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1077065 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pop9770 Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 rahrahrah Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Everything he says is common sense. I think he> actually does your average person a massive> disservice in thinking they're more naive than is> the casehahahaDon't for one minute underestimate how naive young and old "in love" people are.A modern day philosopher who has his finger bang on the pulse of our "modern" world vs some councilor? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1077354 Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnL Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 pop9770 Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Some advice from my friends and family ie 100s of> years of experience> > Options are > 1. Don't get married > 2. Go polyamorous marriage> 3. Live like a Victorian> > IMHO You should both watch this before you go and> see a counselor > > I'm covering up the chair legs at the moment (for option 3) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1077403 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Mac Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 We got pre marriage counselling from a priest (compulsory if you are getting married in a catholic church, which I only did to keep my parents happy). Not sure how much he knew would / could know about marriage though. He basically said, you will have a fair few arguments. Don't expect the perfect love-in to last forever. Learn to get through the difficult periods as best you can. Having said that I'm not sure how much he knew about marriage, it turns out he knows all about it. There are quite a few failed marriages in ED - so to be honest you might love the person forever and you might not. Be ready for some difficult times, but all in all it's definitely worth it. Particularly if you have children, they bring their own pressures, massive lifestyle changes, hard work and great joys and rewards. Its a team effort. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1077432 Share on other sites More sharing options...
malumbu Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 Mate went to a Catholic Boarding School. Funnily enough the priests did a lot better at explaining sex education than the head teacher. That isn't saying anything more than what you said above (ie just because you don't partake doesn't mean you can't advise) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/132688-wedding-first-dance-and-pre-marriage-counselling-recommendations/#findComment-1077468 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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