Oh, cringe.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Was reading another online community today, there was a thread detailing the most embarrassing things people's kids had said/done, with contributions such as one lady's son shouting 'HEY MUMMY, DO YOU HAVE YOUR VAGINA ON?' in a shop, and a little girl saying 'Good girl go wee!' and clapping whilst looking under the stall in a public loo.

What have your little one's done? Baby Baldock can't speak yet, but he does have a habit of BEING SICK in other people's nappy/handbags, and trying to latch on to breastfeeding mums and playgroups. My son, he's a charmer.

[Fuschia]

Pulling off so I squirted milk down a man's jacket on a train...

[Ruth_Baldock]

Ah lovely. I haven't been able to nurse seb in public for months because it goes like this: latch, gulp gulp gulp, pull off, look around, milk goes everywhere, seb smacks boob.

[Helen GV]

apart from running ahead of me in sainos the other day and heading STRAIGHT for the eggs, nothing too bad in public, but got a lesson in concept checking the other day when he pointed at daddy in the shower and shouted 'daddy poo!', it turns out that while i thought i was doing a sterling job at getting him ok with his bowel movements ahead of any serious attempts at potty training, he thought i was naming his anatomy. he still doesnt believe me that it's not called a poo...

[new mother]

Friend's son helpfully and stratospherically loudly informed the lady ahead of him in the supermarket queue:

"You're a lady. That means you don't have a w****"

[Mellors]

Too many to mention, including one recent incident that required the whole of Beckenham Spa training pool to have to be emptied *shudder*.

Also, recently on a No 12 bus in Camberwell "Mummy, WHY does that man have such silly hair?" (He was a Rasta).

[Fuschia]

DS1 pooed in a rockpool in Wales and my efforts to bury it under a stone failed... it wasd bobbing around and we had to run away

[Ruth_Baldock]

My Mum just reminded me of something awful I said when I was 6.

She was walking me to school one day, and she was really, really pregnant (on mat leave too presumably). She was gasping and panting for air (As you do, if you're 9 months pregnant in still-warm September). I stopped next to her and shouted really loudly as an elderly couple were passing "THATS THE NOISE I HEAR YOU MAKING IN YOUR BED WITH COLIN (my stedad), MUMMY!"

(My mum said she was mortified but when the elderly couple slowed down to give Mother harsh looks she gestured to her bump and said "Well, it had to come from somewhere!".)

[buggie]

was changing E in the toilet at the GP this am, had her legs up to pop the clean nappy underneath her and she took this as chance to aim and fire.... Poo hit the wall, the changing mat, was all over the towel I'd put on the changing mat and over the nappy in such a way it wasn't going to be wearable!

The only saving grace was that she was side onto me and I'd pulled her clothes up so well that neither of us got hit!

Thank cripes I keep alcorub in the change bag.

Had been upset at the long wait for baby clinic but this sure helped the time fly by!

[crescent]

When my DD was 3, in the queue at Sainsburys, kept saying 'what IS it mummy, what IS it?' as I was busily putting items on the conveyor belt. I (evil mother half-listening) sort of sing-songed 'oh, bananas, bread" etc etc. "No, NO, Mummy, it is a boy or a girl, is it a boy or a girl?" pointing at the rather unfortunately-visaged check-out... person. I was mortified.... tried stuffing snacks into her but she would not be fobbed off...

[hpsaucey]

In a REALLY loud voice whilst waiting in a supermarket queue to the youngish but balding man in front: 'MOVE, GRANDAD!!!' from my two-year old! The man visibly bristled and looked a bit angry. Tried the same shovelling in some distracting food as crescent above but to no avail!

[Belle]

buggie - your story reminded me that as a small baby my son manage to pee with embarassing accuracy on several different doctors - during his six week check but also various times we had to go to A&E , it became almost predictable in the end.

He's not really big enough for saying much embarassing stuff yet, but the other day in the chemist I got a bit flustered when we were waiting in the queue, as he appeared to be pointing at a nearby woman and saying 'dog! dog!' repeatedly. Then realised she was sitting next to a big stand of pet flea treatment which had a massive picture of a dog, so had to do over the top pointing out of this (in sing song talking to son manner) to make sure her feelings weren't hurt.

[littleEDfamily]

Oh I am embarrassed by my 3 year old on an almost daily basis - "why has that lady got such an enormous bottom" (within earshot of this poor soul in an ED cafe), to the courier man at our front door: "Hello you weird man", in front of woman pushing a buggy "Mummy, that woman is smoking AND she has a baby with her", (LOUDLY in the general direction of a hapless stranger) "Why does that lady look like a man", about any child eating sweets "that child is eating sweets - that's not healthy. why does their mummy let them have lollipops"... oh I could go on.... I think it's a case of the apple not falling far from the tree... my nickname used to be 'Clanger'.

PS Buggie, I had an almost identical incident about 3 years ago I have probably documented somewhere on this forum! Was it at DMC?

[marscapone]

My 4 year old came home from school having drawn a picture of 'mummy's wine'

He also said very loudly something about 'going to the pub'

[Pickle]

My daughter at Sainsbury's last week, upon being asked her name by the checkout lady:

"I'm M, I'm a girl, I haven't got a willie, C (brother)'s got a willie, it's a teeeeeeny tiny willie. Daddy's got a willie, Mummy hasn't got a willie, have you got a willie?".

My son the week before, at the Horniman museum musical instrument section, having followed a man and his children around listening while the Dad told his kids what the instruments were called:

"no, that's not a trumpet, that's a cornet" (and he was right too!)

We've also had "why's that lady got a beard?" and numerous "I don't WANT to sit beside that lady Mummy, she looks very scary" instances from my son in buses.

Kids eh?!

[malleymoo]

My daughter has led to many embarrasing moments. one horrific one was being stood in the playground of nursery talking to some of the parents who i was only just getting to know when she came up to me and whipped my summer skirt right down to my ankles leaving me stood in my knickers!

Also walking past a man who had both legs amputated and who was in a wheelchair she said very loudly " look at that silly man he has lost his legs!" My neice and nephew who were with us have never forgotten the horror of that moment!

when I tried to complain to my dad about her behaviour he laughs and says its my punishment for being exactly like that as a child. He remembers being on holiday in Ireland and at my grans house. my dads female cousin came to the door I ran to open it and shouted loudly through to the assembled family- Hey dad its the lady with the moustache ! Apparently the room fell quiet which is very unusal in my very loud family. Though several aunts had to make excuses to leave the room with fits of the giggles during the visit.

[Sanne Panne]

My 2 year old daughter likes the playroom in the Florence. "Mum, I want to go to the pub, I want to go to the pub, can we go to the pub please?"

[nunheadmum]

Mine too....we had her birthday party in the pub (Herne) - she was sooooo happy!!!!

[Ruth_Baldock]

My sister was once chatting to an old lady at the bus stop, when she was 3 or so, and when the old lady said 'where do you live?', my sister for some reason said 'In the pub!'.

No idea why. Mum was cringing. She said that the last 25 years of her life have revolved around her being embaressed silly by her kids. Sorry, Mum!

[buggie]

Belle - I might have seen you on one of you A&E experiences if it was Kings!!

littleEDfamily - not DMC was Forest Hill Rd... worst bit was I felt I had to let the receptionist know incase I had missed a bit/if they had a housekeeper handy - am sure she was nearly laughing (rare for a GP receptionist I know!).

Me and Mr Buggie were visiting my Godfather a few yrs back, and the same w/e he was looking after his granddaughters (then aged 5 and 3yrs) The 3yr went to the loo - having refused an offer of help from the 5yr old (wanted to do it herself). She returned and casually handed her knickers to Mr Buggie! Luckily she was happy enough for me to put them back on her!

[Belle]

Buggie - I've often wondered if we encountered you! For the record - every A&E nurse we had was wonderful, made it a lot easier.

I know I did loads of embarassing things as a kid but think my dad actually encouraged it as he found it hilarious.

[littleEDfamily]

oh malleymoo, the leg one has got be the worst! You can handle them making you look like an idiot, but it's when they make personal comments about other people, I just want to melt away...

[yummumbums]

I remember being on the p13 with my two yr old son and this lady behind me kept making silly faces at him. He had a very puzzled look on his face so i turned round and smiled at the lady and i remember she said, "you're son is beautiful" to which i said "thank you" and my son promptly said "you are really fat and extremely ugly." I was mortified!

[The Nappy Lady]

malleymoo - the story of you getting your skirt pulled down made me laugh out loud, sooooo funny.

I remember my eldest at 3 or 4 asking loudly "Mummy, why is that lady so fat?"

She also once decided to lift up my top, exposing me to one and all in the middle of Sainsburys as I was carrying her on my hip (nice).

Oh, and then yesterday, showing her Godmother how good she is now at writing, she was trying to spell out the word "Counting" except she missed out the 'o'..... noooooo, as I frantically tried to get her to fix one into the gap between the C and the U before anyone else noticed.

[malleymoo]

littleEDfamily Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> oh malleymoo, the leg one has got be the worst!

> You can handle them making you look like an idiot,

> but it's when they make personal comments about

> other people, I just want to melt away...

It definately wasn't my finest hour. Ive worked in 'caring' professions all my life and have always taken get pride in being non-judgemental so it was especially horrifying.

Molly so pleased you had a laugh! I must admit if everyone had laughed at the time I think i might have coped better and could have laughed along but everyone looked deeply uncomfortable so I tried to pretend I hadnt really been stood in my knickers. My daughter is now almost 11 and it was only this year that i managed to overcome my phobia of skirts or leggings with elastic/loose tops.

Thought we had finally got past the embarrasing moments but today in convesration with some friends i mentioned that I had never met my grandad. little Malleymoo 'helpfully' tries to explain the reasons for this and informed my friend that this was because my mum decided to marry a catholic and my grandad dint want this to happen as he was a prostitute! Cue another awkward moment until i explained she meant a protestant.