Distraught

[Fuschia]

Not really a post with a purpose but just want to moan.

ECV went OK and baby easily turned from transverse to head down, but having been transverse for most of the pg, he's likely to flip back. Have to go for a scan Sun at 38w and hospital then suggests admission to birth if baby still in an unstable lie - due to risk of serious emegerncy if my waters go and cord prolapses.

I am so not ready to go into hospital for what could be weeks and likely end in CS.

Not just all the juggling and the difficulty of sorting out 1 7yo and twin toddlers without MrF using up all his pat leave before we even get to the birth, but i have a phobia about hospitals anyway.

It's all too much bfor me to take in.

I relaly hate it when everything seems to fall apart and I don'ty have a handle on it. With twin II;s hospital admisison lastweek, I feel all over the place

[melbourne groover]

Not much to say but sending some sympathy. Good luck, hopefully that baby plays the game...

[Pickle]

You've had such a tough time of it over the past few weeks, I can't imagine how I would have coped. You have managed to get through it and still have a smile on your face (at least you did when I saw you the other day!), which speaks volumes about the strong woman you are.

Hope for the best, things may turn out fine, and I know that even if things don't go the way you would like them to you will cope brilliantly.

P x

[GinaG3]

Naughty baby. Wishing you all the best and hope it all goes as you hope! As you know it will all be worth it in the end anyway.. :-)

[Moos]

Best of luck to you - all the very best for a smooth resolution.

If you do end up scheduled for a CS, read the recent thread on it - lots of reassuring info about how relatively easily it can go. I know absolutely not what you would wish for, but at least some comfort?

Fingers crossed for you and wishing you joy for your new baby soon!

[chuck]

My daughter was transverse or breech for pretty much all my pregnancy. So much so that i was booked in for a c-section and never paid much attention in any of the antenatal classes about natural birth as it wasnt going to happen to me. However at 37 weeks she got into the right position and didnt move from there on in, Probably as she didnt have the space. Anyway I ended up having a pretty much text book perfect natural birth with no intervention and no drugs! So keep thinking postively and hopefully it will all be alright.

[jollybaby]

Just keep trying to think healthy baby, healthy baby because in the end that's all that really matters. If it's any consolation I recently had an emergency cs and it wasn't that bad - I was a bit uncomfortable for a couple of days but after that didn't need any painkillers.

But hopefully you won't need to go down that route and baby no 4 will fly out on his/her own accord. Best wishes

[Fuschia]

it's not even the cs, it's possible admission to hospital for several weeks prebirth....

[sillywoman]

Fuschia, stay strong Lovely. You know as well as I do that negotiation is possible within the NHS system, it may be that if you can reassure the Obs that you are a sane intelligent woman in full possession of knowledge of the risk factors which would necessitate immediate hospitalisation, and that you would be willing & able to come to hospital the minute any of those risks presented themselves they might be willing to compromise on the 'hospitalisation until birth' protocol.

I don't have the full info, so I might be talking out of my bottom here, but if there's no immediate risk and you are willing to take responsibility for going against their advice, then they might be willing to compromise if that's what you feel would be best for you & your family. In any of these scenarios it helps to keep in mind that the advice you're being given is based on medically what is best for you & your unborn baby. As a mother your decisions will need to take other factors into consideration - most crucially the wellbeing of your current children & your partner, balanced with that of your own & the new baby. Also, as you touch on, the longer tern implications on the family unit of the course of action they recommend. Obs can be a bit like computers on these issues. They can tell you what's best for you & baby from a medical perspective but cannot see the holistic whole that is you & that is part of your decision making process. Sometimes it can be hard to make the Obstetricians understand that your perspective is different.

It does sound to me as though you need a 'hero', someone to champion for you a bit. Which midwives did you go with in the end - this is the kind of scenario where a Lanes Midwife really comes into her own? Did you stick with them? Sorry, I can't remember. If not can I suggest you contact either Jill Demilew, or - and possibly more helpful to you - Cathy Walton at Kings. You might find that someone with some maternity-medical authority but also the common sense born of life experience will be helpful at negotiating compromise on your behalf.

I think if it were me & my baby had returned to transverse or unstable lie again at 38 weeks, then I would be asking for an elective CS if they were adamant that I needed to be hospitalised from that point. You'd have a pretty good case for it taking your family commitments into account, and if they're saying that after hospitalisation that would be the outcome anyway then what point in waiting?

Get someone with clout onside & know that all these things will influence your decision, but that you alone will be the one making the decisions that are right for you and all your babes. Good luck.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Fuschia, I am so sorry you're going through this. Echoing everyone else, you're very strong for not going doolallyover the past few weeks. Thinking of you. X

[dulwichmum]

Poor lovely Fuschia,

It sounds as though you are having a dreadful time. Please tell all of these concerns to your midwife and obstetrician. Thinking of you.

Bea x

[Fuschia]

Thanbks for the moral support. My midwives are independent MWs, and have been in touch with the SOM at Kings to see what support I can get if hospitalised for any length of time. Problem as I understand it with a transverse bbay is if your waters go and the cord prolapses the baby can die within a few minutes.... so i can understand why hospitalisation is sensible.

It's a good point about CS immediately, to minimise the hospital stay.

My fear of hospitals is quite complicated. I actually seem to cope Ok s slong as I am "myself" and not in need of any care.. so I have been alright when recently an inpatient with twin II. I think if I had to stay in for 1-2 weeks prebirth, and didn't requir emuch more than monitoring, probably I would be alright (though Mr F would hardly be able to visit with me, giving the demands of childcare in my absence)

My real terror is of aftercare after a CS as unresponsive staff is the trigger for me to really meltdown.

So that's why I would want to avouid one if at all possible... but whether it's possible to pick the right moment to be induced and get the baby head down is quite complicated I think... also being on bloodthinners an emergency CS would possibly need to be under GA, good argument for a scheduled one.

My head is reeling really.

[Fuschia]

I was in for a week before the twins were bormn and it was Ok, but I was desperate at all costs not to have to stay alone after and managed to have them, spend a few hours on the ward with MrF and come straight home. I just can't atm see a birthplan that gives me a good chance of that again!!

[helibell]

Oh that's good advice sillywoman. I ended up having a long discussion with v. helpful consultant midwife at king's with postdates, unstable lie baby - I can't remember her name but you could ask your midwife to put you in touch. My understanding is that consultant midwives have a slightly different perspective & can help you with your decisions based on their knowledge of the research & evidence base.

[Saffron]

Fuschia Wrote:

> My real terror is of aftercare after a CS as

> unresponsive staff is the trigger for me to really

> meltdown.

>

Don't worry F. If that happens, we'll organise a crack team of Forumites to go down to the hospital and badger any unresponsive staff into submission and obedience!

xx

[Fuschia]

Saffron Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Fuschia Wrote:

> > My real terror is of aftercare after a CS as

> > unresponsive staff is the trigger for me to

> really

> > meltdown.

> >

>

> Don't worry F. If that happens, we'll organise a

> crack team of Forumites to go down to the hospital

> and badger any unresponsive staff into submission

> and obedience!

> xx

Lol, at least I have my trusty netbook and dongle, so no reason to be isolated

[Belle]

And would your independent m/w be able to mitigate some of that situation F? I think if it were me I'd press for elective c/s in that situation. Do completely understand and share your fear of hospital stays in the circumstances you describe, but hopefully combo of forumites and independent m/w would help!

Nice to hear a positive story above though - it could be that at the next scan baby is still head down? fingers crossed for you.

[Fuschia]

Is an elective CS at 38 weeks a good idea though., and it would guarantee me several days of high stress in the post natal ward.

Or is better to risk admission to antenatal for a week or two, in the hope I might manage to have a successful "stabilising induction" and get home without any time in postnatal?

But yes, I am trying to think positive that he will stay head down from now!!!

[new mother]

Oh God, I'm sorry, Fuschia. It will pass and sort itself out but it is the type of thing where it's easy to see this from the outside and much harder to believe it when you are the person. Poor you. You have a lot on your plate. I wonder if we could organise some sort of help for you or your husband? Not with the ch as you won't want strangers obviously but maybe with shopping etc?

[Fuschia]

I am just doing a plan for the various things we'd need...

I think visitors from people from the forum for ME would be something well worthwhile as I will hardly see Mr f or the chidlren, if it comes to it. :-(

Am thinking: mums from school to collect and drop off child no 1.

Mr f to start work late each day so he can drop twins at creche (he doesn't drive so can't do school run and 10am creche drop off)

SIL, various friends, Mr F working from home if necessary, extra hours from nanny if she can on her non work days to collect twins from creche, take them home and feed them

Am just doing a big tesco online order, mailed my sister and various friends who might be able to help at weekends

Lot to arange!! Us mums are hard to replace!!!

None of this is helped by the fact twin II is ill, been waking coughing every hour or so at night and needing me.. am going to take her back to a and e early tomorrow I think.

[Fuschia]

2 days p/w we have a nanny so it's just the other 3 days I am "missing" if I get admitted

I am sure she will do more if she can, but we can hardly expect her to do it for free and we don't have a lot of spare cash as I have just started maternity leave. We weren't really planning on me ending up hospitalised for weeks!!

[gwod]

Poor you, what a unsettling situation to be in. I really empathise with the feeling of helplessness one can feel postnatally in hospital - however I wanted to add that if you did have an elective c/s at 38 weeks, whether or not it was under general aneasthetic, your hosp stay could well be better that you invisage as you pretty much know what your medical needs will be before the procedure and can therefore envisage and prescribe, to some extent, your expectations and treatment afterwards. (unlike some, more "standard" births)

If you had a general, you would also be kept on High dependancy ward for at least one day and night where there is one midwife between 2 ladies which is very comforting ( and very quiet) for the initial part, and in my experience (on 2 of my 4 C/s) were the best of my post birth hospital stays. If this is the route you take ask to have a look at that part of the hospital as I really feel it may help put your mind at rest a little

Difficult time though - I wish you the very best.

[Fuschia]

Thanks everybody. I feel much happier with various plans being worked on, help offered etc...

[supergolden88]

Been out of the loop with baby supergolden keeping me busy and sleepless but want to say Fuschia all the best and I sympathise completely. What a wonderful community this forum is. Best of luck - and hopefully sometimes all the doctor panicking is for nothing

[snowboarder]

Fuschia - nightmare!! Thinking of you and give me a shout if you need anything - you know we are just down the road from Heber sch...happy to help if can.

Thought to bear in mind - Erika at the Lanes told me (last week) that if all goes well with CS you CAN be out of post natal in 24hrs - esp I would think if the ind mw's would give you the confidence to discharge yourself as you know you would get their support once at home....

xx