LOST!

[damzel]

LOST! 1 x calm, laid back, easy going, smiley toddler

FOUND! 1 x head stong, stubborn, "no no NO!" shouting rebellious nearly 3 year old.

I am completely in shock by this sudden change (thought we'd got away with it) and am going completely insane. I have no idea how to handle it so am probably doing the worst "calming" job ever.

Deep breath

[Helen GV]

the deep breath will work better if taken with a stiff drink...

[damzel]

Yes, just poured one. It was all I could do to wait until she'd gone to bed! Slippery slope, mothers ruin, it's all starting to make sense now.

[Pickle]

You have my sympathy! I thought I'd got away easy with my son, the "terrible twos" were a breeze. Nobody warned me about the super-emotional, head strong, nightmare that is the threes! He's about to turn four, anyone got anything I should know?

[littleEDfamily]

Apparently the fours are the golden time, Pickle, and just in the nick of time, my 3 year old seems to leaving the irrationality of late toddlerhood behind.

OP - count yourself lucky, mine started being headstrong and rebellious around 15 months. It has taken all my energy to get through the last 2 years and not be bulldozed into submission. Try to remember to be kind but firm (although I have frequently resorted to fishwife like screeching, which I fear is unavoidable.)

Bon courage!

[Fuschia]

Pickle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

He's about

> to turn four, anyone got anything I should know?

They just get worse as they get bigger. Luckily, they are in school before you go under...

[Pickle]

Ha ha, thanks for that vote of confidence F! Thankfully he started at Goodrich nursery yesterday so I get a bit of relief ;-)

[ratty]

Terrible twos never happened to us. Have a demon 3 year old now who has his bum imprinted on the naughty step. I have lost all my hair! Guess this is normal!

[Moos]

What everyone said re: 3!

But on a positive note, I've heard good things about 4 too, Pickle.

[redjam]

Not only do I get the 'NO! NO! NO!', my three-year-old also specialises in the 'GET MY DRINK! NOW! NO, NOT THAT CUP! THE OTHER ONE! NO I DON'T MEAN THAT ONE! THAT ONE!' while I scurry around apologising like a nineteenth-century slave.

I think I'm going to have to move house at the end of this year as my neighbours must be about to report me to the police for all the yelling/screaming they must hear every day (mine and hers).

[damzel]

Yes redjam - that sums up my household completely! So glad I'm not alone fellow parents of 3yo's but wish I'd had some warning.

My sister in law gave some advice last night - she said to make my daughter feel she's in control, so rather than tell her it's time to get dressed/bath/bed time etc. let her "decide" that it's time by making the option seem attractive but without suggesting that it's time. Amazingly, my OH says it worked this morning to get her dressed. I've been at work all day so I've just tried it with dinner - also a success. So far so good - will report back on bath time, typically the hardest thing to persuade her it's time for...

and don't get me started on cleaning her teeth - anyone got any tips for that?

[kristymac1]

someone mentioned the term 'threenager' to me when I said we'd seemed to have had an easy(ish) ride through the terrible twos......... Having survived the 'threenagers' (just and only just) I am looking forward to having a lovely polite, compliant and affable four year old in a few weeks time - cloud cuckoo land? me?

[damzel]

Threenager - love it. Makes it easier if you can put a name to it. Okay, so bath time was so easy tonight, I can hardly believe it - she actually took herself up the stairs and told me to wait until she was there before I come and run her a bath! Recently, I've have to drag her up virtually kicking and screaming! Giving her "control" is working wonders, thanks sis in law. Although it probably helped as I feel a lot calmer today after reading your posts, so thanks all. x

Still didn't get many teeth brushed though, she brushes the front ones to make the brush frothy and then sucks it in and swallows it. hmmm

[pebbles]

damzel - i'm loving your sil's idea - but.... i'm not sure what you mean? sorry if i sound dumb but how would i make it sound like it was his idea?

[damzel]

Well tonight, about half an hour before it was actually bath time I told her "it'll be bath time soon, you tell me when you're ready to go". Then a little later when she was playing with a plastic monkey, I asked her if she thought the monkey would like a bath with her. She said "NO BATH!!" So I replied, it's okay, it's not bath time yet, but later when you're ready for your bath, maybe monkey wants to go too. About 5 mins later, she took herself (and the monkey) up for a bath! I tell you, it was that easy...

[pebbles]

oh wow, i love it, i'll give this idea a go tomorrow - i'm definitely feeling positive :)

[charlottekb]

Wow! What a reassuring thread! Thought I was oh so alone with this!

[littleEDfamily]

I heard boys get a testosterone shot at around 4 years of age, replacing the sweet as pie mummies' boys with terrors prepared to try and shoot you with any implement. Fact or fiction?

[Smiler]

redjam Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Not only do I get the 'NO! NO! NO!', my

> three-year-old also specialises in the 'GET MY

> DRINK! NOW! NO, NOT THAT CUP! THE OTHER ONE! NO I

> DON'T MEAN THAT ONE! THAT ONE!' while I scurry

> around apologising like a nineteenth-century

>

:))

[Pickle]

It's 9am on Saturday morning and I'm considering taking my son to school and throwing him over the wall until lunchtime when perhaps I'll go and collect him. Is that wrong?

[damzel]

And there was me thinking what a lovely family unit you looked this morning Pickle! What a difference half an hour makes :o)

[pebbles]

Hysterical Pickle - I think like that regularly however I think about selling him on Ebay to someone who doesn't mind giving him pasta and pesto for every single blooming meal!!!

[Pickle]

Damzel - darling Mr Pickle's solution to grumpy, spoilt brattish behaviour in said son was to produce yet more Christmas presents that haven't yet been opened, leading to half an hour of calm. Then he disappeared off to play hockey, leaving me to deal with children who are now fighting over the fire engine and driving me to drink. Glass of merlot anyone?

[pripolla]

Me!!!

[Ruth_Baldock]

I'll join you, Pickle. A glass of red is FINE during pregnancy surely?

Seb is only 13 months and OH MY GAWD. The tantrums, the looking me in the eye as he throws food off his highchair, the tantrums...did I mention THE TANTRUMS?!

Someone remind me why I thought 2 under 2 was a good idea? Am sending Seb away to the Peace Corps when he's 2-3 if he's still a terror.