Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Men pretend the offside rule is complicated. Tonight I have learned that it has nothing whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP sauce, and everything to do with how many defenders between you and the goal. Does this mean that parallel parking and single malts are also ridiculously straightforward?

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP

> sauce, and everything to do with how many

> defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> also ridiculously straightforward?



Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie ..... It's not a matter of the number of defenders... There only needs to be one...! See, it's even simpler than you imagined...!

brum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> RosieH Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> > Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> > whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and

> HP

> > sauce, and everything to do with how many

> > defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> > mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> > also ridiculously straightforward?

>

>

> Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie

> ..... It's not a matter of the number of

> defenders... There only needs to be one...! See,

> it's even simpler than you imagined...!


Er, sorry to interrupt, but for clarification there needs to be two defending players.

To quote FIFA:


Offside Position

It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

? he is nearer to his opponents? goal line than both the ball and the

second-last opponent

A player is not in an offside position if:

? he is in his own half of the fi eld of play or

? he is level with the second-last opponent or

? he is level with the last two opponents

Offence

A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball

touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee,

involved in active play by:

? interfering with play or

? interfering with an opponent or

? gaining an advantage by being in that position

No Offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

? a goal kick

? a throw-in

? a corner kick


And they've even set it to music.


Law 11 explained set to music

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LB - this is wrong? Why?

>

> http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7929041692/5411656627/

> PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/20/george_best

> .jpg



My hero for 35 years...so delish...(RIP Georgie)


LB...if you cannot appreciate this, then you are in a coma...


Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • And halfway down, "commercial venues and events" 🙄
    • Help! I plugged an external hard drive into my laptop  to see what was on it, and now I can't eject it because it has started doing something.  I'm getting a message that it's currently in use, close any programs or windows that might be using it, and try (to eject it) again. But I've closed everything down that I can see. It's got an enormous amount of stuff on it, documents photos and music,  which I don't want to lose.  Could it be synching to OneDrive? What shall I do? Just wait till it's finished whatever it's doing? Surely whatever it's doing shouldn't have started automatically? I hate my laptop with a vengeance 🤬 It has caused me nothing but trouble since I got it. I also hate Windows 11. Rant over.
    • Looking for books  on the above wars - preferably first person accounts.
    • Mango Indian just off Borough Market is great. A bit pricy (though worth it) in the evenings, but if you're going for lunch they do a £12 set menu. Not quirky though, sorry!  https://lovemango.co.uk/menus/
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...