Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Men pretend the offside rule is complicated. Tonight I have learned that it has nothing whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP sauce, and everything to do with how many defenders between you and the goal. Does this mean that parallel parking and single malts are also ridiculously straightforward?

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP

> sauce, and everything to do with how many

> defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> also ridiculously straightforward?



Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie ..... It's not a matter of the number of defenders... There only needs to be one...! See, it's even simpler than you imagined...!

brum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> RosieH Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> > Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> > whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and

> HP

> > sauce, and everything to do with how many

> > defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> > mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> > also ridiculously straightforward?

>

>

> Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie

> ..... It's not a matter of the number of

> defenders... There only needs to be one...! See,

> it's even simpler than you imagined...!


Er, sorry to interrupt, but for clarification there needs to be two defending players.

To quote FIFA:


Offside Position

It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

? he is nearer to his opponents? goal line than both the ball and the

second-last opponent

A player is not in an offside position if:

? he is in his own half of the fi eld of play or

? he is level with the second-last opponent or

? he is level with the last two opponents

Offence

A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball

touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee,

involved in active play by:

? interfering with play or

? interfering with an opponent or

? gaining an advantage by being in that position

No Offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

? a goal kick

? a throw-in

? a corner kick


And they've even set it to music.


Law 11 explained set to music

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LB - this is wrong? Why?

>

> http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7929041692/5411656627/

> PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/20/george_best

> .jpg



My hero for 35 years...so delish...(RIP Georgie)


LB...if you cannot appreciate this, then you are in a coma...


Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • I am  ill in bed with Covid. It's not that I "can't be bothered" to read things. I am feeling crap and don't have the mental  energy at the moment. I am not "brushing stuff aside and pleading ignorance." I am truthfully saying when I don't presently know enough about something to be able to comment. I have always been very careful to try to  differentiate between fact and opinion in both  my posts and other people's, and I am not clear what your point is. And I am certainly not trying to wind anybody up. This is a forum. If you don't want to respond to my posts, that's up to you. I'm not sure why you feel the need to announce it.   
    • @NewWave I know how you feel. Like you, I've lived and spent prolonged periods of time in some pretty crazy places and always thought I could handle a bunch of kids. But, no - they got to me and I was shaking like a leaf afterwards. That's what age does to us.  But I did engage with them, so bear that in mind.  My advice would be to never let anything like that stop you doing the things you love. I'm certainly not going to stop using the park, there's no way they get to take away our cherished spaces!  If you see them, just change tack and keep out of their way. My dog won't even go that way again, so that's that problem solved. (If I see them again, I'm going to keep taking photos from a safe distance). 
    • Truly horrific. Being passive or fighting back is what many of us think about by violent theft. 
    • What ridiculous waste of money 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...