Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Men pretend the offside rule is complicated. Tonight I have learned that it has nothing whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP sauce, and everything to do with how many defenders between you and the goal. Does this mean that parallel parking and single malts are also ridiculously straightforward?

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP

> sauce, and everything to do with how many

> defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> also ridiculously straightforward?



Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie ..... It's not a matter of the number of defenders... There only needs to be one...! See, it's even simpler than you imagined...!

brum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> RosieH Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> > Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> > whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and

> HP

> > sauce, and everything to do with how many

> > defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> > mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> > also ridiculously straightforward?

>

>

> Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie

> ..... It's not a matter of the number of

> defenders... There only needs to be one...! See,

> it's even simpler than you imagined...!


Er, sorry to interrupt, but for clarification there needs to be two defending players.

To quote FIFA:


Offside Position

It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

? he is nearer to his opponents? goal line than both the ball and the

second-last opponent

A player is not in an offside position if:

? he is in his own half of the fi eld of play or

? he is level with the second-last opponent or

? he is level with the last two opponents

Offence

A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball

touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee,

involved in active play by:

? interfering with play or

? interfering with an opponent or

? gaining an advantage by being in that position

No Offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

? a goal kick

? a throw-in

? a corner kick


And they've even set it to music.


Law 11 explained set to music

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LB - this is wrong? Why?

>

> http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7929041692/5411656627/

> PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/20/george_best

> .jpg



My hero for 35 years...so delish...(RIP Georgie)


LB...if you cannot appreciate this, then you are in a coma...


Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • I am trying to find out about people's experiences of the 4+ and 7+ assessments. I am a teacher and have a wealth of experience tutoring for theses assessments (including my own son), but it's always good to keep on top of things as they always make tweaks to them. TIA! 
    • "Sep, you don't even live here."   ???
    • "You have no idea why"   To be fair Sue, it's blindingly obvious to anyone who has a conversation with anyone who isn't a Corbyn supporter. And even some who liked Corbyn (like me initially) found him somewhat flaky even at his most popular But let's say you are right and I have NO idea why anybody might not vote for him. They still didn't vote for him. He lost two elections. The second one badly (and strongly predicted but the stubborn old goat wouldn't budge so we we were stuck with Johnson and another 3 million PMs in the 5 years that followed) So even with ZERO evidence, we have our eyes and ears and brains But we do have evidence   https://yougov.co.uk/politics/articles/27022-their-own-words-why-voters-abandoned-labour
    • As I said, it was my understanding. I worded it very carefully. I didn't/don't know for sure, so clearly not a fact. And hardly an "opinion", which is something completely different. You have no idea what reason anybody might have had for not voting for him (unless you can point to some opinion poll results which actually asked people?)
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...