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Men pretend the offside rule is complicated. Tonight I have learned that it has nothing whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP sauce, and everything to do with how many defenders between you and the goal. Does this mean that parallel parking and single malts are also ridiculously straightforward?
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RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP

> sauce, and everything to do with how many

> defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> also ridiculously straightforward?



Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie ..... It's not a matter of the number of defenders... There only needs to be one...! See, it's even simpler than you imagined...!

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Which is more than many a linesman has bothered to do.


LB - football is not just about the game itself, but also the camaraderie of supporting a team, the people you go to the games with and the people you meet along the way. And the beer.

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LB - avoiding a team with too much money is pretty easy nowadays; too much debt is another matter. Also avoid teams where the players are wearing fancy coloured boots. Boots should be black.


I'm with PGC on this, go local - Dulwich Hamlet or Millwall.

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brum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> RosieH Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> > Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> > whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and

> HP

> > sauce, and everything to do with how many

> > defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> > mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> > also ridiculously straightforward?

>

>

> Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie

> ..... It's not a matter of the number of

> defenders... There only needs to be one...! See,

> it's even simpler than you imagined...!


Er, sorry to interrupt, but for clarification there needs to be two defending players.

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To quote FIFA:


Offside Position

It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

? he is nearer to his opponents? goal line than both the ball and the

second-last opponent

A player is not in an offside position if:

? he is in his own half of the fi eld of play or

? he is level with the second-last opponent or

? he is level with the last two opponents

Offence

A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball

touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee,

involved in active play by:

? interfering with play or

? interfering with an opponent or

? gaining an advantage by being in that position

No Offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

? a goal kick

? a throw-in

? a corner kick


And they've even set it to music.


Law 11 explained set to music

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