reporting verbally abusive comments on social networks

[Laddy Muck]

The problem with bullying is that the victim is unlikely to say anything. Moreover, relatively few are willing to intervene on behalf of the person being bullied - even where completely against the practice. As has been mentioned above, (publicly at least) it can be highly subtle, to the extent that it is virtually undetectable. Lord knows what might be occurring via PM though.

[mockney piers]

If there are bullying PMs then they must be reported to admin immediately, it's completely against T&Cs of usage and will result in the deactivation of their account if they are deemed to have broken them. If they create alter egos then the computer can be banned too, not just the account.

I'm, not sure bullying by definition can be subtle can it? That just sounds like persistent disagreements to me, but like i say, if someone feels bullied then for god's sake report it, we're not schoolkids with some playground 'we don't grass' code of honour here.

If a grown up is bullying then they don't deserve access to this service.

[StraferJack]

I had a HUMDINGER from someone a couple of weeks ago (from a real person, not some jerk/bot)

I suspect it happens a lot at PM level unfortunately - don't think the forum software allows you to block senders?

[Huguenot]

Well I don't see how anybody can do anything if it's 'bullying via PM' and the victim doesn't say anything. We're not mind readers.

If bullying is so subtle it's undetectable then it's so subtle it's not bullying surely?

Sue's definition seems pretty reasonable - and I haven't seen any persistent attempts to hurt or humiliate anyone on this forum. Disagreeing with someone is not the same as setting out to hurt or humiliate someone. Being brash or assertive isn't bullying either - a bully needs a victim.

[Laddy Muck]

mockney piers Wrote:

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> I'm, not sure bullying by definition can be subtle

> can it?

Well, I think - e.g. intimidation - can be extremely subtle.

> If a grown up is bullying then they don't deserve

> access to this service.

Absolutely.

[Huguenot]

I don't think intimidation can be classed as bullying - unless it's threats with menaces.

There's plenty of people I feel intimidated by, but that doesn't make them bullies.

You can't kick someone off the forum because someone else feels small around them ;-)

[ianr]

I don't know what effect these relentlessly marching Reds have on their enemies, but, by God, they frighten me.

[Laddy Muck]

But does the marching constitute intimidation or bullying? Guess if you're a City fan, it might.;-)

[Huggers]

Malleymoo, sorry havent read through every post so someone may have said this, but why doesnt your child block this boy and unfriend him. If blocked you wont see his messages.

[Alan Medic]

Laddy Muck Wrote:

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> But does the marching constitute intimidation or

> bullying? Guess if you're a City fan, it

> might.;-)

You're not a communist then?

[Laddy Muck]

Red is the colour that flows through all our veins.B)

[Alan Medic]

I have to confess I once called someone a gobshite on the forum. They took it badly and asked me (by PM) to phone them so I could say it personally. Perhaps they misunderstood MY meaning of the word. It wasn't meant to be as bad as it sounds and was written in the heat of debate.......sort of. The written word can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings particularly if you only know someone through their forum persona.

[Jeremy]

I've been abusive a couple of times on here, sometimes I stupidly let myself get angry or frustrated.

Still, it's not the same thing as bullying. Bullying is persistent harassment.

[binary_star]

Well I suppose it depends on your definition of bullying. According to Wikipedia (I know!):

Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse ? emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The UK currently has no legal definition of bullying,[5] while some U.S. states have laws against it.[6]

So although it doesn't look like there is a legal definition in UK law, I would agree with LM and say that intimidation is very much part of bullying, especially if it is persistent or targeted at one individual.

Anyway, to the OP - I think if you know who the boy is then avenues such as the parents, school or police are open to you, but I would try to gather the evidence from the website before he gets chance to delete it. Otherwise it will become harder (although likely not impossible) for you to locate.

[DJKillaQueen]

I haven't seen any persistent attempts to hurt or humiliate anyone on this forum. Disagreeing with someone is not the same as setting out to hurt or humiliate someone. Being brash or assertive isn't bullying either - a bully needs a victim.

I'm with MP and H on this...and Lord knows H and I have had some massive barnies....but always out of some major disagreement in a debate, not because of anything personal (we've never met). And yes admin can deal with anyone who sets out to harass or intimidate.

The forum is not for the faint hearted at times, debate can be fierce and if there's any chinks in a viewpoint it often is ripped apart by some very dogged and intelligent debaters. I think some people mistake that for bullying because they can't win the debate, then others turn to insult because they can't tolerate a different view point too (that does wind me up I have to admit). And I tend to think that a lot of the clashes on the forum are personality clashes more than anything...or whatever the written word equivalent of that is....and that's just part of life...not everyone is going to like or get on or agree with everyone.

[DJKillaQueen]

I would also agree that premeditated intimidation is a form of bullying but there are people I might be intimidated by because they are massively talented for example.....so it has to be an 'act' of intimidation to be considered as bullying. Making fun of someone on a thread might be considered bullying too, if we take Sue's definition, if the person at the receiving end feels upset by it. It entirely depends on the intent. I think that is the kind of bullying that a lot of children are subjected to.

[Ridgley]

There are some people on the forum, that piss me off at times but I don?t feel bullied I always thought bullying is constant attack on someone I guess it different types of bullying these days.

[DJKillaQueen]

I think some are just more sensitive than others as well.

[david_carnell]

Can I be the first to say.....ENOUGH.

For the love of god, give it a rest. Please. This is actually getting painful to read. And that's not through sympathy.

The amount of passive-aggressive behaviour on here is startling.

[DJKillaQueen]

Then don't read it! Or were you being ironic?

[david_carnell]

No I wasn't being ironic.

I'm just asking, nay pleading, with you (and others) to just stop. It's relentless and isn't even limited to this thread.

I get it. You have issues with other forumites. Don't we all. But the rest of us seem to manage without resorting to this sort of stuff.

Accusations of cliques, subtle intimidation, bullying etc. Have you been on many other forums? Have you seen them? This is like paradise. God, sometimes it's like being back at school in here with the childlike behaviour that takes place.

I say that I talk for no one but myself but I'm bloody tired of it.

[DJKillaQueen]

I think we all agree that other forums are far worse but that doesn't mean it can't be discussed/ explored. The thread is titled as such for example. Just avoid the thread if it bothers you that much.

[david_carnell]

Just because you can doesn't mean you have to.

[DJKillaQueen]

People can discuss anything they want to. It's a forum.

[Sue]

DJKillaQueen Wrote:

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If a person has an issue with someone

> and instead of dealing directly with that person,

> engages on a campaign of what is effectively

> slander to anyone who will listen, is that

> bullying?

>

xxxxxxxxxxx

No, it's just extremely immature behaviour.

If you have an issue with somebody you should go to see them and sort it out, not slag them off behind their backs to people who don't even know them.