Treating nannies like slaves..really upsets me

[kapaxiana]

I don't understand how some people can look down and treat badly the same people who they entrust their children who are suppose to be their most precious 'things'.

And when I mean nannies, I guess I am talking mostly immigrants to be honest. I have heard so many horrible stories of working ridiculously long hours, not being allowed to have weekends off and just generally being treated like a slave. And these poor women subject themselves to that because their need the money, most of them send money home wherever home is.

Seriously do some people not realize that we are all equal no matter what you do or how much you need the money? To me the person who looks after my little one, keeps her safe and happy so I can go to work is very important and I always think of ways to show her my appreciation and to me her being happy is also important.

Sorry just had to vent.....

[SBot]

And these people pay their cleaners and gardeners MORE money per hour!

[kapaxiana]

...because their plants are more important than their children..

[doody]

Careful! I raised this issue about pay for childcare vs other domestic services on this forum some time back, and got a right earful for it :( It's obviously a touchy subject!

[kapaxiana]

I bet doody! And I can see it could go that way but my point is about how they are treated not how much they are paid. There is NO excuse for not treating someone with respect.

doody Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Careful! I raised this issue about pay for

> childcare vs other domestic services on this forum

> some time back, and got a right earful for it :(

> It's obviously a touchy subject!

[echo]

I agree horrible. No excuse.

How much they get paid is part of how well they get treated? These 'nannies/au-pairs' get significantly less that the living london wage of ?8.50 per hour. How much?? ?200/400 per month live in?? for long hours, no leave?

Does anyone know of any organisations who support immigrant workers and tackles discrimination and exploitation?

Also it would be good to know what sort of things makes a 'good' family to work for? Any au-pairs willing to share their thoughts?

[mrsS]

When I first came to England, 10 years ago, I worked as an Au Pair so I can share my thoughts on that..

Regarding employing an au pair, I think it is very important to remember that most Au pairs are very young and might be completely new to how things works in the UK and in such big city as London. It can sometimes be a huge culture shock, to arrive in a new country, trying to learn a new language, and at the same time be given the massive responsibility of looking after someones children, plus all the housework that so often is expected. For very little pay. I, generally speaking, believe that the whole 'Au pair concept' is being misused. If you need childcare, hire a nanny. Au Pairs should not really work more then 20-25 hours per week. I worked as an Au Pair in Croydon, was responsible for three kids, one dog, and all the house work in a huge four bedroom house. It was way too much, I was only 19 and should not have been given all that responsibility.

I have also worked as a nanny which is very different to the whole au pair thing. First of all, nannies should always be properly employed with a contract. They are entitled to holiday pay and all the other things that any other employee would get. I think that is important to remember. Nannying is a job, and for many, a career path. So just treat them as you would like to be treated by any employer. Don't bend the rules, don't expect them to do lots of over-time, don't expect them to babysit several times a week, as that should really be their evening off. Seriously, nannies work long days as it is. And don't expect them to look after your friend's kids too.

[womanofdulwich]

As a former employer of au pairs I can only agree. I have had several au pairs crying in the kitchen to me because their family treats them like a slave. I have had to comfort them and occasionally allow them to stay here with my own au pair. I have to say that for some families who are not British ,they come from a culture where slavery/ subservience is the way of things. These families are usually blacklisted by reputable au pair agencies.

[kanghsin]

I bet doody! And I can see it could go that way but my point is about how they are treated not how much they are paid. http://www.kucei.info/g.gif

[parkview]

I agree with your feelings. If I treat those who should look after me children badly, they will feel upset and stressed and this will have an effect on my children. If I feel responsible for them - especially if they are young and inexperienced-, they will feel responsible for my children.

We never had au pairs but rather employed nannies as they were more experienced. But this is obviously also a financial question.

[gillandjoe]

My best friend is a nanny and has just been working as a night nanny on a temporary basis. She begged the mum to hi her two weeks notice before ending her employment but this weekend she received a text from the father saying she was no longer needed as of now! Shocking! As if nannying were something you did for fun!

What gets me going though is that we have expensive state subsidized childcare available to working mums but if a mum stays home with her kids she is expected to survive on a fraction of the cost that she would pay to someone else to take care of her children. So is being a stay at home mum less of a career than a childminder? Grrrrr

[KatsuQueen]

Gillandjoe, where is this "state subsidised child care for working mums"? I need it! Serious question, not being sarcastic..if you know where to get it...please tell me.

(apologies to op, off topic!)

[bodsier]

Womanofdulwich wrote:

'I have to say that for some families who are not British ,they come from a culture where slavery/ subservience is the way of things'.

Are you serious about this statement? slavery is not 'the culture of other nations' it is a shocking, brutal treatment perpetrated by the British and America against 'other nations' as you call it. Please note kapaxiana has noticed the amount of immigrants who have been on the receiving end of this disrespect.

[Nanny link dulwich]

My Name is Margaret Cowell.

I qualified in 1982 with NNEB certificate in child care. I have worked as a nanny and managed a nursery.

Since 1996 i have run Nanny link and we have helped trained an experienced nannies source work .

I became the Vice Chair of the Association of Nanny agencies which is a non profit organisation working to raise standards in childcare agencies and supporting nannies.

We have a very important meeting on the 26th July with all the relevant partners in childcare to discuss the changes occuring in our sectors.

What we are keen to learn is Nannies views on sourcing employment via an agency and the internet. Your views are very important and could make a difference on how we move forward with approaching government regarding the de regualtion of child carers.

So if you can send me your views and experiences whether your a nanny or parent that will be most helpful.

* how do you source work

* if you have had a bad experience with internet sites or agencies- and what went wrong

* Do you find agencies supportive in helping you once you have found a post

All these and any more will be wonderful.

My ANA address is [email protected]

and the website is www.anauk.org

All answers will be confidential and thank you

[HOMum]

Ditto what KatsuQueen said! I am a working mum, I get no help whatsoever with childcare. or anything else for that matter.

[Susan]

Sorry gillandjoe this statement (as many working mothers on here know) is inaccurate

What gets me going though is that we have expensive state subsidized childcare available to working mums

Please explain because I work partime and currently 70% of my salary is chilcare!

[bodsier]

It is ridiculous that many parents have little choice and are left with no choice but to give up their work which is part of their identity and independence, and become full times parents, or work to give it all to childcare. 90% of motherss in the netherlands are in full time employment, with their child being cared for by others. We do not have that choice here, we certainly are not able to 'have it all'.

[gillandjoe]

i was ranting innaccurately - please forgive me!

i just meant that there are subsidies and free nursery places available to some (single mums/low income families etc) and full-time work available to all (yeah right!) to pay for nursery places/nannies etc. Childcare is so expensive! but it seems very 'unprofitable' to take care of your own children - i don't feel that the government offers enough support to SAHMs.

I realise I am digressing from the topic and probably not making sense - my debating skills are not up to scratch!!

[gillandjoe]

'i don't feel that the government offers enough support to SAHMs.' or childcare should be a lot cheaper than it is.

[gillandjoe]

i tend to 'post now, think later' so might be best to ignore my comments!

bye for now

[Jessie]

The previous government did much more to help working families - as a single mother, there is no way I could have afforded nursery fees way back when without Mr Brown's support. Now of course, all of my tax credits have gone...and I am still a single parent, on a pretty modest income!

And yes, OP, no one should treat their nanny or au pair as a slave. And WoD, I find your remark about non British families fairly offensive and a bit weird.

[VanessaPMR]

Shouldn't the subject title really be: treating mothers like (unpaid) slaves really upsets me?

At least its something we can all agree on ;-)

xx

V

[KatsuQueen]

GillandJoe, I wasn't getting at you, hope you didn't take it the wrong way. Just wondering if you knew something I didn't, maybe some subsidies/tax breaks that hadn't been widely publicised... I live in hope!

[uptime]

Just a view from the other side. I employ a nanny as do a lot of my friends in ED and elsewhere in London. I have not come across one instance of a nanny being treated as a slave. Far from it. Our nannies are regarded as highly valuable employees and, as much as possible, treated like part of the family. I am sure that not every nanny views their workplace or employer as completely perfect, but how many of us non-nannies feel that. Maybe there are also other parents who treat their nannies like slaves but surely they must be a minority and be pretty nasty individuals generally. That sort of employer exists in the non-nanny world too.

[pa123]

totally agree with VanessaPMR! Treating mothers like (unpaid) slaves really upsets me too:)

Sorry for the digression and maybe we should open another thread but I arrived in this country two years ago and I am amazed at the fact that women have to give up their jobs and social identities to be housewives just because there is not other way (or so everybody seems to pressure them to think so). I met many mothers lately and although some seem happy to take care of their children full time, some are clearly unhappy. Is there any kind of feminist movement in this country?