Corrupt a Wish

[paragon]

But you are arrested on your short-haul flight to Morocco and imprisoned in a Northern African jail for being a mule (drug thereof) and are probed extensively by the over zealous gendarmarie.

I wish I was fluent in Mandarin.

[SteveT]

and find that you can only converse with satsumas.

I wish I had n't got toothache.

[lozzyloz]

and discovered your legs had been amputated instead.

I wish I knew next weekends lottery numbers

[Cassius]

Only to win and lose all your friends and have a nervous breakdown.

I wish I had a pair of Manolo Blaniks in my shoe size.

[Domitianus]

only to realise that your pretentiousness inflamed the fury of ignoramuses who don't even know what Manolo Blaniks are but who nevertheless decided to gun you down in the street to teach you a lesson for being so pompous....

[PeckhamRose]

What's your wish, Domitianus?

Domitianus Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> only to realise that your pretentiousness inflamed

> the fury of ignoramuses who don't even know what

> Manolo Blaniks are but who nevertheless decided to

> gun you down in the street to teach you a lesson

> for being so pompous....

[Domitianus]

errrr....a container load of oral contraceptives is accidentally driven into the ED drinking water supply.

[lozzyloz]

but unfortunately you were swimming in the reservoir as the container pinned you to a dumped Sainsbury's trolley and crushed you to death

wish I was sipping a cold Peroni in Tuscany

[SteveT]

But it was off, and you spent the rest of the holiday no more than 10 yards from a lavatory.

Wish I was in bed

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

But it's in a Cat A prison and your cell mate is over friendly!

I wish I owned 125 acres of farmland in th UK

[vero]

But then a tax is introduced per blade of grass/crop.

I wish I had a luxury home in Switzerland.

[lozzyloz]

But then Switzerland is accidentally nuked by the Americans who mistake it for Syria.

Wish I owned a 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO

[ratty]

But it had not been restored since 1962 and was a rust bucket held together with sellotape.

I wish I had a really shit time every day

[lozzyloz]

We'll make an exception this time. Your wish is granted >:D<

I wish Foxtons on LL could be transformed into a sushi bar / music venue

[pablogrande]

but the staff from Foxtons stay on running the place, the 'large platter big enough for a young family' consists of a single sushi roll, the barstaff play 'Simply the best' over the sound system on a loop whilst giving themselves a thumbs up in the mirrors behind the bar and ED is swamped by Minis that smell of fish.

I wish Harry Kewell could play like he did at Leeds

[HonaloochieB]

Please treat this post like a roundabout.

[SteveT]

I took the first exit off the roundabout and ended up in Peckham.

I wish a baby ape could sleep in an apricot

[PeckhamRose]

The apricot goes mouldy and the ape dies of fungal related complications.

I wish my cat was friendlier to the person who is going to be looking after her for 2 months.

No wait, I can see that one coming and I DO want her back.

I hate cooking and I wish I could afford to eat out more.

[HonaloochieB]

You are granted limitless funds to eat out as much as you want, in doing so however you become as fat as me.

I wish I was a spaceman, the fastest man alive...

[PeckhamRose]

But you'd miss the beauty of watching a cat lick herself clean (mine takes HOURS even when she IS clean), or watch a kingfisher in the park seemingly doing nothing, or watching a flower close its leaves at the end of a day, all to be witnessed here on earth.

I wish snobbery was banned!

[atila the gooner]

I wish East Dulwich was how it was 20 years ago, free of prententious middle class twats driving 4x4's, poncey shops, restaurants and Estate agents.

[MelbourneGr]

But then it went back to being FULL of prententious middle class @#$%& driving 4x4's, poncey shops, restaurants and Estate agents.

I wish I was wise.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

But then you'd be managing Newcastle.

I wish my parents had bought me a pony ...

[citizenED]

They did, but it was only a "My Little" one...:-S

I wish that I was on stage singing my little cotton socks off

[lozzyloz]

. . . but your cotton socks were actually nylon and generated static electricity from your efforts which caused an audience members flatulence to be ignited by an errant spark, leaving you with 3rd degree burns.

I wish East Dulwich had a beach