Would you have a male childminder?

[nubby'smums]

My friend has just had a baby and her partner's been made redundant. They are trying to get creative about jobs for him. He loves being a Dad, and I suggested childminding, but my friend thinks people still aren't ready yet to leave their little children with a man. What do local people think - is there a market for it?

[Medusa]

No. Simply because on the basis of risk assessment, I wouldn't leave my child with any man I didn't know very well.

[curlykaren]

there was a 'manny' advertising on here not so long ago and he had a big positive response. As a single mum to a boy its def something I would do as a way of introducing more males into my sons life.

[Curmudgeon]

Yes without a doubt

[Jessie]

I think it's a fab idea, and wish there were more male child care workers in whatever guise out there

[Pickle]

Yes, definitely. I know a number of male nannies and they are fantastic positive influences in the lives of the children they look after. No more of a risk than a female one in my opinion.

[Yak]

Definitely. My son's keyworker at nursery is male. They have an absolutely wonderful relationship and he is a brilliant role model for him.

[midivydale]

Most def!

[Mathilda]

Yes of course!

[Polly D]

Of course!

[pebbles]

Absolutely

[oimissus]

of course, why on earth not?

[etta166]

Yes! One of the things that I'd look for in a nursery and in a primary school is male role models.

[crystal7]

Yes

[DenmotherSmith]

I have a 'manny' he is excellent, I have three sons and their often robust play and attitude is better served by a male carer. He is also great at boy centric play, tree climbing, conker gathering, skating, making swords etc.

[Helen GV]

Yes without question

[Otta]

I'd love to see Medusa's completed risk assessment though.

[DaveR]

"I'd love to see Medusa's completed risk assessment though."

Me too. Or do you think its an attempt to make "I think all men are potentially dodgy" sound more respectable?

[VALFR59]

Medusa, I support your opinion. And I am sure even if it's not "publicly conventional or politically correct to express this No" , some others parents might have that reluctance to have a man as a childminder or nanny.

I know it's not fair to put All the men working around children in the same "clich?" of potential pedophile , because to be honest , HERE is the principle parents fear about having a man ,alone, in charge of their children.

I would never have any doubt on the efficiency and motivation of a man to be great, fun , caring and educationnal with children and I am completely sure that a big part of them could be much better than some women doing the same job!

However I can't remove from my memory if we look at back into the news, over the last 10 years, the too numerous horrible stories of children abused, where men have been recognized guilty of the crime...and quite often, it has been men who were working around children ...and Sorry if I shock some of you (it's NOT my intention at all), but I can't pretend it's not a reality of our society that men are more often involved in children crime than women... and I don't want to put my child volountary in a risky situation to pretend to be in accordance of the well public though. Sorry to be direct I can't be hypocritical on that subject.

I agree with some of you who think that you can't be sure to not expose your child away of any danger.I have in mind that When it's your destiny , accident can happenned also to people who are more cautious than the average of population, BUT never mind, I prefer to be careful anyway!

But perhaps it's because I am french and in France we had so terrible children abuses crime stories over the last 10 years with teachers , husband of childminders/sports and children club coach/ priest/ children camps entertainers. As a daughter of a dad Police officer and a mum Judge for family/children, I've been rised a bit too much in the behaviour to be careful of the human nature... It is also true, according to them and their experience, that the major part of children sexual abuses are committed by members of the close family or friends of the family rather than by strangers!

I reckon that I've heard less sad stories in the UK since we arrived two years ago (even if we have this terrible one with that poor April at the moment)... so perhaps you have less crazy guys here... I tend to feel, a bit naively, more in safety here than in France.

If it's a man working at a nursery or in a school, it would be COMPLETELY FINE for me as he works among a team and I believe that everybody has an eye en each other whoever the team is masculin/feminin or both...for a nanny at home or chilminder, I would prefer not taking any risk by precautionnary principle.

Finally, I think that your friend should folow his dream, and if it's to work with children, it's honourable and brave to him, and he should not care about what people thing about it. Furthemore, as we could see on that thread, hopefully for him, a lot of parents would agree to employ a man as a childminder or nanny, and I totally respect their opinion. I just couldn't do it for my family, but it's just about my opinion on the subject. So I sincerely wish him the best in his new career.

[Otta]

There would be a greater chance of your child coming to harm whilst in the care of any nanny, male or female, than there would of you hiring a paedophile. What a very very sad society we live in.

Overall the positive responses here are great, but the fact that two people wouldn't consider leaving their child with a man saddens me.

Lets not forget these men would have to go through the same legal checks as any woman.

Will you be looking for schools with only female teachers?

[Saffron]

I don't disagree that as for as profiling is concerned, the male sex presents a higher hazzard for abuse. However, for risk assessment to be valid, you would have to run separate risk assessments for each individual regardless of sex. And let's not forget that there have been cases of nursery workers (both men and women) convicted of abuse, and in some cases covering the abuse for each other.

Personally, I would typically look for a woman because that's comfortable for me. My personal experience has been that women are better at the kind of multitasking and forward planning that childcare requires than are men in general. Nevertheless, if someone recommended a man to me for childcare, and I saw that he excelled in these areas, then I would definitely consider him.

I also have male friends who have been nursery workers and primary school school teachers, and I have known them to be amazing at their jobs.

[Moos]

My son's kindergarten had a male teacher and all the kids (boys and girls) thought he was the best teacher ever. He was really into woodcraft, totally alternative, encouraged the little ones to be very independent and was as gentle as could be. He was an incredible role model for the children, and an excellent counterpoint for the female teachers.

It is a great pity that men are being increasingly driven from traditional roles guiding and leading young children as primary school teachers and scout masters by attitudes and illogical (the odds are diminishingly small) thinking as has been expressed here.

If the OP's friend does decide to be a childminder, perhaps his maleness could be his USP and he could play up to it. Of course a woman can be sporty and woodsy, but the cliche might work...

[snowboarder]

I would love a male nanny/teacher for my sons - already my eldest at 3.5 thinks that daddys go to work and mummys look after children at home and at nursery....really! As others have said I think it would give them a very positive role model. However (for absolutely no reason that I can articulate) I might not for a much younger baby...I'm not sure why...

[VALFR59]

Sorry Otta to bring you sadness...I didn't mean.

But it's the freedom to each of us to have our own opinion on any subject of society ...and it's so great not to have a unique though which mean we are still in a democratic system, whatever is the side of thinking on the subject!Personnally I WOULD BE SAD IF EVERYBODY WOULD THINK THE SAME AS MY OPINIONS :) ....and for sure you would be much more than me.

We also couldn't give rise to argument and Forum/debates would not exist anymore

I didn't say that I am against men childminder or nanny but just explained why I wouldn't choose this option for my children.But I am completely fine and agree with the "men 's right" to do that kind of jobs, as equal of women of course!

To answer your question, In my post, I said that I would consider/accept to have a man worker at my son's nursery or as teacher when he will be older. But If I had the choice between two profile, same level of qualification and recomandation, I would prefer to go for the women nanny/childminder first.

I find all the post really interesting and Right in the reflexion...I understand and respect absolutely all of them.

However, I still prefer to keep my precautionary principle for my children, time they are so vulnerable as babies/toddlers.

[DaveR]

If you say this:

"I don't want to put my child volountary in a risky situation"

it surely implies some evaluation of nature and likelihood of the risks. If you let your child cross the road, ride a bike, ride a horse, go swimming, try new food, or play sport (for example) then you are exposing them to risk, including the risk of death or serious injury. Most of us are comfortable with most of these things because we understand that the risk is small and can be made smaller by taking proper precautions. To suggest that employing a male nanny or childminder is somehow inherently too risky to be a sensible choice is obviously nonsense.

Of course, everybody has the complete freedom to believe nonsensical things, and, more importantly, to make choices (at least as far as choosing childcare is concerned) based not just on rational analysis but also on gut feel, prejudice, or anything else they want. Just don't try and dress it up as 'being careful'.

PS - "the precautionary principle" has a specific meaning that explicitly includes a scientific assessment of the relevant risk - it doesn't just mean not doing what you subjectively think might be harmful.