End of the world in ED

[woodrot]

I have done done research on the internet, in back copies of the fortean times, watching Controversial TV and at grove vale library using respected academic journals and I have concluded the coming end of the world will be 99% certain to be a zombie driven event.

What are your action plans for survival when the dead walk the streets of ED, hungry for brains?

[Gidget]

If it's today, have a mince pie and some mulled wine.

[steveo]

That's after midnight on the Strip any weekend, innit?

[Ted Max]

Can zombies swim?

[woodrot]

I dunno, I will do some more research on Youtube zombie fly on the wall documtaries and get back

[Otta]

Will the zombies of ED eat only organic free range human flesh?

[aquarius moon]

I'll be ok as they will probably only eat meat eaters & I must only taste of vegetables!

[El Pibe]

I've done a lot of research into this and the number one route to survival is find guns and ammo and find the nice army types not the scary ones that you eventually have to escape from but one of your group won't make it.

Then find a spot where you can see 'em coming.

I reckon the end of the world will come about via a meteor shower that makes everyone blind then we all fall foul of stinging nettles and brambles.

Has that one been done you say?

[maxxi]

aquarius moon Wrote:

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> I'll be ok as they will probably only eat meat

> eaters & I must only taste of vegetables!

Typical rookie veggie error - carnivorous zombies (like their non-zombie cousins) prefer livestock that has been reared on veggies and grain. You'll be sought after :)

[woodrot]

El Pibe Wrote:

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> I've done a lot of research into this and the

> number one route to survival is find guns and ammo

> and find the nice army types not the scary ones

> that you eventually have to escape from but one of

> your group won't make it.

>

> Then find a spot where you can see 'em coming.

>

> I reckon the end of the world will come about via

> a meteor shower that makes everyone blind then we

> all fall foul of stinging nettles and brambles.

>

> Has that one been done you say?

Im afraid you are wrong - I have done venn diagrams and stuff to back up my reasearch at Grove vale Library and I can categorically state that the most likely scenario is indeed a zombie style happening. My research has concluded that an unmarked military transport plane will crash into the dense forest at One tree hill,leaking its cargo of secret chemical agents into the drinking water reservoir below the aquarius golf course & thus quickly infecting SE22 and some parts of lower Nunhead . This is ground zero for the end of the world.Tomorrow.

[Robbieboy]

I've been preparing for an onslaught of undead hoardes for several years now and consider myself somewhat of an expert on the matter. El Pibe makes good suggestions. I would add barricading yourself upstairs and destroying the staircase as they're not the best climbers.

For more information I suggest running to the shops and buying this:-

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Zombie-Survival-Guide-Protection/dp/071563318X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1356017283&sr=8-1

Everything you need to know there!!!

[Ted Max]

I've printed out Woodrot's warnings from this thread, reformatted in BOLD ALL CAPS NO PARS and pasted it to the COBRA door - as well as several bus shelters between ED and Honor Oak Park.

I am now going home to keep an eye on Eggheads Celebrities, as I believe the recent disappearance of C J De Mooi from this programme to be significant.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

" I would add barricading yourself upstairs and destroying the staircase as they're not the best climbers. "

They used to say that about daleks...

[????]

The pace zombies come at you I'd fancy my mum to be safe

[computedshorty]

I have placed a for sale notice up to sell my Zimmer frame that is in perfect condition and has many miles of use still left to use.

If the world does end tomorrow it will be free, but must be picked up locally.

If the world does not end then I will withdraw my offer. as I will still need it.

[ianr]

I've just eaten my first physalis or three or four. And it's not even something I've seen in a list of 100 Xs I have or want to Y before I Z.

And does anyone know where the UFOs will be landing to resue the select? Does Southwark have anything organised?

[macrobana]

Did you really think that Southwark were spending all that money on CPZ contracts?

[steveo]

The end is...

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/file.php?20,file=73479

[Alan Medic]

ED calling, ED calling..........is there anyone out there? The GE pub has been flattened. The dustbins appear to have come to life. Doors locked and baked beans on the menu for the forseeable future.

[Salsaboy]

Has it happened yet? Is this Heaven or Hell we're in?

[Otta]

ED? HELL.

[Alan Medic]

Any news of supplies?

[Fabricio the Guido]

Film called "Blindness" based on a book by Saramago is an awesome read for apocalyptic scenarios. It even has the delicious Juliane Moore in the film. The great thing about the film is about how we remain human and must fight to retain our values in the face of extraordinary circumstances.

After Charlotte Rampling, the next greatest in beautiful, steely ice cold but sensually trembling film goddesses. Never sure if Nicole Kidman really belongs on that list or not.

But I digress, end of the world and all that. Death, sex, zombies and rampant consumerism.

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1285555.Jos_Saramago

[aquarius moon]

Was hoping all the meat eaters would be eaten, but looks like they are still here.

Haven't seen any zombies yet in Nunhead.

If they knock on my door, I have plenty of lettuce leaves available, as Maxxi said they prefer these!

[maxxi]

aquarius moon Wrote:

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> Haven't seen any zombies yet in Nunhead.

>

> If they knock on my door, I have plenty of lettuce

> leaves available, as Maxxi said they prefer these!

That's lettuce-leaf EATERS Luna - you must have veggie-myopia, you need a good steak or a bacon sandwich.