The "Confession Box"

[LizzygotDizzy]

Thought I'd start this non-judgemental thread up for those who wish to enter the confession box without reprimand, I shall go first:-

I put tipex in my bosses tea when she p'd me off one day!

I stole from Woolworths when I was 10 (who didn't!)

I meant to tell Jehovas witnesses who knocked on my door that I was atheist, was so p'd told them I was antichrist instead then wondered why they beat a hasty retreat and never darkened my door again (not really a confession only hurt myself with my stupidity)worked though and they never returned.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Two Our Fathers and three Hail Marys for you, my girl.

[PeckhamRose]

I got a 120ml bottle of something, in my pockets, through Heathrow.

Twice.

There are a few untruths on my CV.

[????]

I've been to a crack house

I was a minor football hooligan in my youth

I shagged a bloke I worked withs wife

C'mon let's liven it up a bit.....

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

I once wanted to be an air hostess

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I know this is supposed to be non-judgmental, but really Chav, that's shocking.

[dulwichmum]

Bless me Father for I have sinned,

It has been five years since my last confession...

I have indulged in idle flirtations on an internet forum, I have sullied my thoughts and words through engaging in inuendo and filthy talk. OHMYGOD, I have had the best fun! If heaven is full of people drinking milkey tea and saying the rosary like my mother, I know where I would rather be.

Shall I open a bottle? It is virtually midday afterall!

[Brendan]

I once applied for a job as an estate agent.

[citizenED]

can trump that, Brendan - I once worked in an Estate Agents

[Brendan]

Good lord! ::o

Are you ok now?

[muffins78]

I dated someone from Brookie

I should mention on our first date I told him I was a soap addict - "I watched all of them". Bizaarely I didnt recognise him, nor did I pick up on the Liverpool accent.

He never told me who he was - til we were breaking up!!!!!! Hahaha - wonder did i hurt his ego!!

[citizenED]

I was the tea boy - I got the sack. I'm over it now, just.

[LizzygotDizzy]

I passed a major stinker on a crowded train on my way home from work and joined in as the majority of people (stuck like sardines in a can) turned to the nearest fat person and glared accusingly!

My best mate from my youth and his brother appeared on the tv accused of all sorts of heinous crimes against society to do with terrorism and al-Qaeda he had changed his name to Abu Abdullah and apparently ran the mosque in Finsbury Park before he was arrested and he was "Hookies" right hand man!

Edited to protect identity (re people on train ha!)

[Azul]

I got caught shoplifting at 11, got drunk at 12, had police looking for me at 13, discovered drugs at 14. before I made 15 I wasn't virgin anymore, got addicted at 16, can't remember much between the age of 15 and 17, shagged my best friend's girlfriend while I was 18. fell in love again at 19, at 20 I got kicked from the army 2 months before I was meant to leave, I think I behaved ok on my 21s and things improved a little after that.

[KalamityKel]

:-| u sound very much like a friend of mine azul... *rolls eyes*

[Michael Palaeologus]

I sh*gged my then landlady, I have wee'd on William the Conquerors birthplace and felt quite proud and shortly after loudly asked why there was no eternal flame to the memory of Joan or Arc, I drove my Mum's car so fast for so long that the gear box needed replacing and I didnt own up

[mightyroar]

once me and my friend stole her Dad's porn film to watch, out of sheer curiosity. we were 13. it was quite dull in truth.

my Mum found it my room, and marched me and the porn film round to their front door, knocoked on door, he answered. 'I believe this is yours' she hands it over, he and I cringe with embarassment.

The friendship didnt last much beyond that.

[Brendan]

I once got fired from as job as an extra for being drunk on set.

At 10am.

[Moos]

Crank it up, chilluns, most of these so-called confessions are actually thinly disguised assertions of how cool you are or have been.

Um...I have stinky feet.

[dulwichmum]

That is not the kind of thing that you admit to Father O'Connor dear heart. He would just look puzzled and tell you to wear cotton socks and improve your personal hygiene. Have you considered that you may have a yeast infection?

[Moos]

Father O'Connor is reading this thread?!

He's going to be busy!

Some people just have stinky feet. It's tragic but true.

[Brendan]

I have posted confessions on this thread which are actually thinly disguised assertions of how cool I am or have been.

[Moos]

Well, at least you ARE cool.

Still, much better. 2 Hail Marmoras for you.

[Keef]

When I was around 12 or 13 I nicked a few porn mags from 7-11, until one day I was collared by a tall American former cop who had obviously fallen from grace and was now security at 7-11. He called my mum, and told her what I'd tried to steal... I was so ashamed! :-$

It did get be nuff respek from the lads though >:D<

[KalamityKel]

::o norty Keef!