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*Swans into quiet room.*


*Smiles warmly at Mr Keef.*


*Fishes his opera glasses out of enormous handbag and passes them over.*


*Observes outragous behaviour of mud wrestling protestants.*


*Tuts to self.*


Cracks open bottle of Krug, and pulls Mr Keefs special chair up close to window beside own chair. Turns on radio 4...

*Pokes head in the door, eyes scan the room for a certain virago*

*Cool, it's quietened down, sends the cleaners home with a big tip*

*Pours self a very strong coffee, lights a Marlboro Red*

*Lies down on large sofa to ease the aching bones*

*Pulls out copy of the Indy, breathes sigh of relief*

*Peace & quiet at last*

*Walks purposefully into the quiet room feeling proud of self (whats new?) but today in the manner of Eliot Ness...*


Thinks to self; "Dulwich is now a safer place."


*Opens bottle of Champagne.*


*Looks around for chums to share a drink.*


*Puts video of "The untouchables" in machine, slips off shoes - admires pedicure and settles down to watch film feeling smug.*

*Opens large fan, obscures facial features and enormous glass of wine*


*Flounces over to harpsichord, begins to play self pened piece*


*Runs long fingered (lace gloved) hand through ringlets*


Thinks to self - this underwear is a tad restrictive but makes my clevage look fab!...


Smiles while thinking of Mr Ray Winstone...

Tries in vein to put out flames on musical instrument but is driven back by the heat.


Cries "Help, help!" in the manner of Penelope Pitstop.


Wonders how Mr Keef can be so cruel?


*Considers piano-forte replacement whilest holding back of hand against brow...*


*Faints due to restrictions on breathing caused by enormous corset.&


*Hits the ground with the tiniest of thuds as is very small and ladylike (and yet incredibly glamorous for a married lady...*

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  • Latest Discussions

    • Missing Cat! 11 months old/ Our friend, Coco, has gone missing. Last seen evening of 31st October near top of Henslowe rd where it meets Underhill Rd in SE22. We know she has started wandering up Friern Rd and further we guess but we imagine she has been spooked by Halloween / Fireworks goings on. She is a grey Siberian mix with some brown stripes down her, very friendly and likes to eat. Please let us know
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